Parental Advisory (Interlude) lyrics - Lil Dicky

"Actually, you know what..."

"I don't, I-I will say one thing. I'd rather you sleep in a hotel downtown than sleep at your friend's house. You need a good night's sleep."

"Ha, why?"

"Well, because you're gonna get up and perform, honey."

"Yeah, I mean..."

"You need, you just, I guess I just think you're underestimating..."

"I know you're gonna perform, you're gonna perform 3 shows in 4 nights."

"Yeah."

"You know, you don't wanna get sick. You don't wanna have a cold, you don't, you know. I'm trying not to be a Jewish mother, here, but I think you're really underestimating this."

"No, you guys are handling it, I'd say you're playing your role great as the, the Jewish parents of a rapper. I'm curious to hear the conversations that happen between other rappers and their parents, I think these are interesting."

"What do you mean by that, David?"

"What do you mean what do I mean by that?"

"When you say we're handling our role, you think we're being, uh, we're being sarcastic?"

"No, I-I enjoy it, I think it's funny. I'm just saying, like, I can't imagine, like, Puff Daddy or something talking to his mom and she's telling him, like, "You better get a good night's sleep, you can't catch a cold."

"I-I, you know what, actually, you're gonna laugh at me. I disagree with you, I think anybody's mother would do that."

"Ok."

"And when Puff Daddy was 25 years old and the night before he was performing, I'm sure somebody was telling him the same thing. That's what mothers do. Black, white, Indian, it doesn't matter who we are."

"I respect that, but Jewish mothers a little more."

"Yeah, Jewish mothers maybe a tad more."

Classic Male Pregame lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Nekisha-Michelle)

[Intro: Lil Dicky]

What's up, y'all?

It's your boy LD

A.K.A. The Original Pancake

I'm going the fuck out tonight

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Off work, 'bout to get trashed

Me and my crew all about to get ass

Sam coming through with a bottle of the Cap

Me and Dean 'bout to tube, Mark taking out the trash

Clean up my room, bitches 'bout to peep that

Peeing, getting groomed, bitches 'bout to eat that

Dean shave my neck, thanks, man, I need that

Read through my text, then I itch my kneecap

Now I gotta play the game right with Liz

Top prospect, met the other night through Tinder

Eight o'clock so I think it's only right I hit her

With a "what you got on tap for the night?", delivered

While I wait Imma pick a shirt

Ain't nobody wearing plaid so I claim it first

Mark got a little sad cause his favorite shirt's plaid but fuck him

He knows I back off in a reverse

Now I'm taking a shot and we drinking and popping a bottle

And thinking of all the bitches we gon' haul in

Sam say I know a house party and it's popping

Bet Imma cop some weird head, Dennis Rodman

Oh, yeah, we plotting

[Chorus x2: Nekisha-Michelle]

This is a pregame

It's a pregame

A classic male pregame

Not a weekday

So this is when we take

Shots and we chasing alternate DJs

And that we pray cause

[Hook 1: Lil Dicky]

And we all get drunk

And we get dressed up

And we all buy gum

And we all gon' fuck

[Interlude: Lil Dicky]

Aye, pour me another shot, God damn it

I'm tryna get to a place where I can talk to these bitches

I got seven shots in me, three condoms on me and immeasurable hope

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Ten O Clock, words getting slurred

Another shot, Sam's tryna hurry

Mark's not, says he isn't worried

He ain't tryna spend hella bread at the clurb

Call him out, "since when you using clurb, faggot"

Mark pouts, something like a herb rabbit

Dean smiles, we been doing work

Pretty turnt, think he blacked out

Lil Dicky burp loud

Peep phone, what the fuck, she ain't text back

Pretty close to considering a text back

Spilling Coke on my shirt that's a red flag

Now I gotta change, Mark knows put his best plaid on

We debating the top ten in the NBA

Disagreeing alot about Lamarcus A

Shawshank Redemption popped on, attention all on

Sam was like, "nah, the party called off"

I already got a Lyft, I'm going out to a bar

Then Mark pulled out a spliff, temptation very hard

You know I couldn't resist, we blazing, now the car here

[Chorus x2: Nekisha-Michelle]

[Hook 2: Lil Dicky]

And we get fucked up

And we all feel rushed

And our plans fall through

And we in bad moods

[Interlude: Lil Dicky]

Man, what time is it?

12:24? And the bars close at 2, lights on like 1:30

Let me just think for like a second

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

Sam like, "we gotta go, cause the car here"

Mark like, "I don't know, what's the bar deal?"

Dean like, "I'm on a roll in Guitar Hero"

Dicky looking like he about to choke on his lamb gyro

Sam looking let down, 'bout to go berserk

Mark put his sweats on, now he rolling purp

Dean blacked out, he ain't even on the earth

I was like, "Sam, I was with it with my other shirt"

Sam bounced, he's like, "fuck it, I'm out"

Me and Mark smoke a blunt, Dean stuck on the ground

Text Liz, "what the fuck?", even snuck in a frown

I get the spins high and drunk, I throw up in the shower

Now I'm jerking off inside a condom (I do that)

I text my ex say, "I miss you often" (true that)

Sam back, it's not even one yet, he a dumb mess

He about to be a problem

I ain't even tripping, I'm Tindering

All of a sudden I'm blinking, I'm squinting

It's saying it's six in the morning

I'm stinking, I'm still in the same shit from last night

Got a text from Mark saying:

"I ain't mad, but I know you’ll clean the bath, right?"

[Chorus x2: Nekisha-Michelle]

[Hook 3: Lil Dicky]

And we get too drunk

And we don't have fun

Then we eat too much

And the next day sucks

[Outro:]

Like, we really just wake up and spend far too much time shitting

So, the whole process just seems flawed

Thank you for your time

The Antagonist lyrics - Lil Dicky

Yeah

Ay, can y'all turn my headphones down? Significantly?

Cool, that's good

It was super loud

First of all, this shit about me

I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing

I've been waiting pretty long to get on some shit and rip it for Dicky

So just consider this my damn theme song, baby

I've been working hella hard, though

There's people telling me I'm 'bout to be a star, bro

But when I play 'em some of this, they like nobody want the piss, Lil Dicky

You the funny kid, that's where your card go

That metaphor about my lane, if your retardo

I'm bubbling like I'm in a soda, word to Fargo

I'm tryna get the fucking fame and it's a tricky little game you gotta play

Sometimes you gotta tell your heart "No"

Here's the problem I've been having

I wanna make my favorite type of music

And the shit I like to bump is not the type I'm brewing

I be on that "Fuck the world, you motherfuckers losing" type of shit

Like all you haters, look at what the fuck I'm doing

All my favorite rappers not amusing

And I love my funny stuff, I hope it's not confusing

I'm just saying, when you doing something time consuming

Every now and then you wanna spaz

Why I didn't go with jazz, muhfucka

Get up in yo ass, muhfucka

Y'all are trash, ye ain't even know the half

I could rattle off a lot of opposition to rap game

But honestly I'm not in the position for that plane

To carry any weight, I just gotta carry on and wait

'Til a motherfucker carry all the weight

Hypothetically, though, I prolly tell you that I'm better than your every bro

I prolly tell you it's subjective, I'm more impressive

You pressing play, a form of respective

I'm guessing more or less it won't be competitive

Y'all adorable, seditive kind of rappers, so deplorably editive

Nothing's worse than when a moron's repetitive

I don't get it, how is everyone the same dude?

The rookie walking on the court like "Man, I can't lose"

They playing Dicky, everybody in the room be like "That's some shit"

Playing yo bum ass, they be like "That's some shit"

Y'all are bubbles with the rapping

Lil Dicky get it popping, you could say bubble rapping

The irony in all of this is I've been funny rapping

Yet the youngin's snapping to the point where all of y'all are funny rapping

Congratulations, y'all can write a hook

At my graduation, they was saying I could write a book

If a Rotten Tomatoes site existed for us rappers

I would be a 97, y'all would hover 'round a 64

Little Dicky spit that Pixar

Hope you seeing why I really like to spit hard

Only problem is I'm rapping at rappers

To the people that be listening, that world doesn't matter

Wanna know what the advantage of the rapper who black is?

The N-word isn't antagonist

Before you get all huff and puff about, think about it, be analyst

The fact they always use it's no accident

For example, I could be like "Go figure

I don't think I'm one to fuck with all you ho [?]"

Y'all can fill in the blank

That don't make it so you don't gotta rap it a rapper

That applies to every detractor

But even if I had a word like [?] disturbed

It's absurd but I'm looking 'round and ain't nobody verse me

I don't think a motherfucker's ever tried to hurt me

Every one I see has been supportive on this journey

Like where my haters at? I'm thirsty

I just really wanna talk my shit, be like "Y'all ain't shit"

But y'all ain't shit, like, y'all don't exist

I could talk about the people that are dicks but I feel like that's whack

That'll get old quick, Robin Williams in "Jack"

Who the fuck is my antagonist?

Is it you? Is it you?

If it's you, let me tell you something

You ain't even got a clue 'bout the shit that's coming

You don't wanna be the dude in five years like

"The fuck, I dissed that

Shit was pretty clear, how the fuck I missed that?"

You know that I ain't fucking light, bruh

I just fucked round and did this overnight, bruh

I just fucked around and quit a fucking job

where I was making triple digits then the comma got involved, dawg

This wasn't rapping or trapping

This was rapping over a big ol' fucking house with a family

Who the fuck is listening [?] but making Dicky so angry?

Is it you? Is it you?

I'm just waiting on some nonbelievers

The writing isn't on the wall, it's coming out your speakers

Anybody disagree, I'm being so facetious, homie I mean it

Forget the website, I'm the only motherfucking rap genius

Where you doubters at, I'm tryna hear it

Maybe it's the motherfuckers never paying mind to lyrics

I would dumb it down for y'all to try make it more appealing

But the ones who hang on every word think I'm kinda fearless

But even with no attention, you can kinda tell this motherfucker killing this section

You can kinda tell this motherfucker still an erection

But getting harder by the minute, just admit it, it's sexy

The funny fact about this shit, I gotta rap

about the fact I wanna rap about this shit to even rap about this shit

Nobody been sleeping on Dicky

It's only been a year and bitches been sleeping on Dicky

Nobody took over the tape with they first tape

This motherfucker hasn't struggled since the first grade

Add it up, there's no excuse to berserk, Dave

Can't debate this shit, you got to skip, you not on first tape

So what the fuck am I mad for?

What's some other shit that I could actually spaz for?

Maybe it's the fact that I've been stuck in this lab for

A hundred fucking days straight cooking up raps or

The fact this shit been taking over every thing in life

I gotta make it so I made the call to leave it all behind

That's my girl, that's my world, that's beyond being busy

Now the only one that gets to David Burd is Lil Dicky

See, I told you this about me

Go on and look up in the mirror, see with LD

Who you hate, boy?

Only care about me, said I'm straight, boy

Maybe I'm the one that gotta hit when I wanna murder shit

Y'all probably thinking "Who is David Burd?" and shit

Y'all just wanna hear some LD

But I ain't made this shit for y'all, that's the damn thing

The Antagonist II lyrics - Lil Dicky

Hi, I'm Dave

I'm Strange (no)

I've been up so long

Don't know where ill go don't know what I know I'm wrong

I must be gone (gone) I must be gone (gone)

I'll play my god

What you doing?

Like everything

Don't shoot down my pair of wings

Let me just smoke my Mary Jane

Ill just hold my marriage in

And that coin flip so damn american

Ever take a walk in the street

Sit up in the middle of the median

And they come and go and they come and go

And my shit been bumpin' my shit been dope

But I'm missing something I'm kissing hoes

And I'm missing something I'm switching rolls

And I'm pissed at something I'm drifting slow

I got zip files

And I know if I click them they gonna unlock

How do I know that though I wasn't taught

I guess that shit that you learn on the job

And my permanent fog is burning like smog

Look at your feet totally odd

What is a feat what is a job

Look at my teeth and they been moving a bit

So as of late I've got in my retainer but dawg

Sooner or later the pain is a problem

Only its not only its not

That mean its working I guess I'm like god

[Hook:]

I don't ever front out here for a minute (go crazy)

[?]

Oh my god oh my god

I can't even stop this song

Now the kid been getting bananas

He going Donkey Kong

(King of the ape shit)

He going Donkey Kong

(King of the ape shit)

I earned shit while he learned quick

Churned shit while he cursed this

And I turned around like I heard something

But i swear to god I ain't heard nothing

I second guessed you but escalated

Shit ready when I'm done renovating

Don't fuck with me on my escapade

Don't fuck with me on my escapade

And I met a boy on that mountain top

And he said to me go round the block

And I did that and I came back and he took back what I took back

I stood back while he took that

And I looked back while he looked at me

And that's when I knew I was on

Shouldn't be long

I keep it moving along

I keep on proving you wrong

I keep on doing the shit that you want me to do

It don't have to be public at all

It will be our little secrete

Unless you do songs about it

Hmm but why would you do that?

Well...

[Hook:]

I don't ever front out here for a minute (go crazy)

[?]

Oh my god oh my god

I can't even stop this song

Now the kid been getting bananas

He going Donkey Kong

(King of the ape shit)

He going Donkey Kong

(King of the ape shit)

Parents Still Don't Understand (Interlude) lyrics - Lil Dicky

"Oh, man."

"Got so much to do. Huh, honey?"

"Yes, definitely. I'm just..."

"Well, look, again, if you need mom to come out there for a week..."

"I don't think that [?] needing, like, mothering."

"No, no, not mothering. Organizing. Or doing, doing tasks."

"Yes, right."

"That's not, that's not..."

"Getting your plane tickets..."

"That's like, that's not..."

"Making sure that your clothes are, are, things that, no, just organization. Not mothering."

"I don't, I don't have to worry about that. Like, people handle that stuff."

"Ok."

"Ok."

"So how are you gonna get strippers in Boston and New York and Philadelphia..."

"The question is whether the clubs will allow it."

"Uh, I probably only would get strippers for Philadelphia."

"Well, you're breaking up again."

"I said, I probably would only get strippers for Philadelphia."

"But, but, a practical question in organization is, do they allow it?"

"Yeah..."

"Someone could research that for you. That's another detail."

"Yeah, why don't you take care of that detail for me? Figure out what venues allow strippers. Is that something you guys could handle or no?"

"No. Cause I don't know what venues... You would have to ask William Mars or whoever's booking this stuff to find out for you. We can't find that out."

"Well, if like I give you, if I give you the venue name and number, you guys could call."

"You could do that."

"I, yeah, I'll call."

"I'm kidding, I'm not gonna have you guys call a concert venue and have you guys ask if you could, if your son could have strippers at his show, that's ridiculous. I don't need you guys to do that. Of course. I can't believe you guys thought that."

"Well, what do you want us to do?"

"Nothing! Nothing, I'm joking around. I can't believe you're even entertaining this as like a thing you would do."

Work (Paid For That?) lyrics - Lil Dicky

My own boss

Work less

Man, she always taking the most

Conference room every day is the worst

"Can I see your work?"

I was zerked, I was search

Tryna figure out them alibis

"This your work?"

I was drinking with some black guys

Hey I done came up (sho' nuff)

Like, "May I see your work?"

I'm like oh, that's my boss, she a bitch

She know this

She looking at me every day

Like, Dave, where you going?

I'm looking back like, "Hoe

I hate your demanding"

To print some shit, but you don't even know

Now look what happened, now who rapping?

Now at work I ask to look at bitches' titties then this happens

Titties looking back at me like "Dicky, boy, what's cracking?"

I look back at titties like "I need a sec, I'm rapping"

Titties looking back at me like, "take your time, you snapping"

I'm like, "woo, I'm getting paid for that?"

[Hook:]

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

(All of these hoes been on me

I'll never go back homie)

Homie last week I was up in Miami

Got paid to chill in the club

Literally, chilling, like not even rapping

I think I did a good job

Sat down on Twitter, my new correspondence

Is going through all of these wonderful compliments

Used to be scrutinized in all these documents

Now when I sign off on something, it's body parts

Titty, booty, macking a cutie

Got a bag in the back of the room of the venue cause she copped that meet and greet

I got them going down in their prime like Aaliyah be

Used to post up, on time, no brakes

Got a purp poster on the vine, no grapes

Used to have to swallow all the pride

Had to piss out the slacks of the sack in the sweats every day

Used to buy brands, now the brands pay Dave

Like, I just got a box of Pumas, cause they think I'm cool

Watch me mention StarKist Tuna, watch my friends get full

I used to sit and wait for Friday

But now my whole week like a Friday

[Hook:]

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

(All of these hoes been on me

I'll never go back homie)

Last year I'm stuck up doing shit up in a cubicle

They tell me what to do, I'm thinking "fuck that shit"

But y'all, I couldn't tell them what the fuck I'm thinking

Now they're paying just to listen to this shit, I got up on my leg

Got three or four bitches who 'bout to get the fourth down

That's a first, I remember when what lunch I picked was all I get

My bitch make that coffee, now only boss me around when we fuck

Was missing college but now they bringing me back, it's still fun

God damn Dicky, you too old to be fucking all these kids

Yeah, I know, but if you can rap, it's a lot less creepy though

I'm smoking weed in public, but it never seem to matter

Dump a bottle of water on your clothes and you ecstatic

I don't ever have to set alarms, I wake up supernatural

I can grab a bitch's hand and she will scream "you so attractive"

How did this happen?

[Hook:]

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

I'm getting paid for that?

Nah, I'm getting paid for that?

(All of these hoes been on me

I'll never go back homie)

I used to be up in Excel every day with a bitch (very proficient)

Now I just suck on my dick, suck on my own dick, man

I suck on my own dick, every rapper do it

Just a thing, an inside thing I learned

It's absurd, it's like, I'm in the industry now, so, I'm seeing shit

Every rapper suck they own dick, it's not just me

Swear to God on the Bible

Truman lyrics - Lil Dicky

Hey, man... man

Hey... hey

I guess y'all on board

Young Man couldn't leave that shore

Had the life they made for him 'til he seeked out more

Boat rock, couldn't see that storm

Held it up, dawg

He know he close

It's too late to jump ship (Hey)

Aw, damn! Aw, damn!

You that motherfucker shit

I know

This here became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And you too (U2) must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono

It's like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn't see it for a minute

Shit was hidden, Waldo

They treat it like I'm goin' crazy

I'm just prayin', I don't

It's just I know

It's just I know

I saw the world like, "Hold up"

Damn near fakin' on the side

Let me take you on a ride

Let me tell you bout the one who couldn't take the 9 to 5

Use to take the 95 down to Richmond

Bumpin' Jigga up in the ride

Use to think along and drive

'Bout my drive

Used to wonder why

Used to wonder when the world'l see like I'm seein' mine

Use to whine

Use to wanna shine

Used to wanna dine

Used to talk to bitches in my mind when they were walkin' by

"Girl, what's happenin'? Girl what's happenin'?"

I ain't really 'bout to get involved that's what's happenin'

Errything I knew was unevolved like a Baptist

Layin' on my matress

Prayin' I could have this, and

Now when I get Tinder matches

They think they've been Catfished

Now I been controlling how we livin' like a facist

Now I got this weight up off my shoulders like a strapless

Remember this shit was hapless

Remember the day it happened

Aw, you the shit Dave, you be killin' everything you did

Got the whole world talkin' all about what you did

Got your old girl talkin' all about what you is

Got your old world lookin' like it's his you ain't here

I been fuckin' for the fuck of it

And one of the bitches I been fuckin' with

Been wondering how I can work this much and stomach it

She wonders what I want from it

I said, "We don't gotta get into it"

She like "Nah, just do it"

She a psychology student

She always followin' up

Find the guy to be amusing as fuck

Usually I'll answer her truthfully

But truthfully, I'm unusually used to being unusually good at internalizing when music is not provided

But I humor hoe

Ask her if she ever saw the Truman Show

She like yeah

I like well, when I saw that shit I was convinced I was livin' like Jim

A similar situation where I was the basis of everyone's entertainment

Like really up in the basement talkin to y'all

In the mirror because I thought Lil David was some American hero

I know it's selfish and all

But I just felt it's my call

I was a ten year old then

By 2010 I was wrong

I'm like

"Aw, damn! Aw, damn!

You the motherfucker though"

I know

That shit became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And you too (U2) must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono

It's like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn't see it for a minute

Shit was hidden, Waldo

They treat it like I'm goin' crazy

I'm just playin', I don't

It's just I know

It's just I know

Twenty three bars up in my apartment

I am debarred

Gotta do this shit

I gotta recharge

But I gotta be smart

Movin' up that ladder company

Star, fuck it, that ain't nothin'

I am *the* star

Spittin' like a retard

Work was like a prison

I'm just seein' bars

My boss was all up in my camp

And I'm just seein' Lars

I been a heavyweight, Muhammad Ali

And if he can mold that out of "Clay"

Then I can turn the Lil D

So now I'm snappin' like I'm Truman

But off and on

There's always somethin' in the way

I should be often gone

Girl I'm sorry if this draggin'

I just need you to imagine

Bein' stuck up on the land without a captain

When everyday is average

And everyday you feelin' like a captive

And feel like somethin' seriously lackin'

And then you fear what could happen if you just leave it on the table like napkins

But, yo, you really fearin' hitting them rappin's and leaving everything behind

Cause you don't know what that horizon brings

But girl you gotta know what kind of fish you is

Survival instinct kicked in

Sink or swim

I flipped a playlist

Quit my day gig

Now, I'm on a boat, Lonely Island

Irony, and you still been tryin' to figure how I work this tirelessly

But girl

This is everything I've thought

This for everything I've fought

This for who I am to me becomes to y'all

(Go)

They tellin' me "nah"

But I just be tellin' them "yeah" (Go)

I just be tellin' them "yeah" (Go)

I just be tellin' them "yeah"

Tell 'em I'm gone (Yeah)

I just pretend I ain't scared (Go)

Don't even know I was there (Go)

Don't even know if I care

Cause girl this is Truman approachin' the wall

Until I'm me I am nothin' at all

Until I'm free I will not see beyone

I had to be who I was all along

Ay [crash]

I think I mighta broke it down

Hoppin' on the fuckin' steps like ain't no around

Open up that door, you bet, ship ain't goin' down

Guess the only thing left is to take a bow

Aw, damn! Aw, damn!

You that motherfucker shit

I know

This ship became a trip, Cabo

Up in the womb, but you can feel it when I kick it, I know

And you too (U2) must be rockin' with Lil Dicky, Bono

It's like I hit the lotto

I had to hit the wall though

I couldn't see it for a minute

Shit was hidden, Waldo

They treat it like I'm goin' crazy

I'm just prayin', I don't

It's just I know

It's just I know

(Just I know) Fuck! (Just I know (echo))

That felt good

Well, that's all I got

The show is over, as they say

Honestly, I just think that part in the Truman Show where his boat hits the wall is really the exact

Moment that I'm at in my own life right now

Uh... metaphorically, of course

And I'm ready for - I think I'm read for it

Like I've been thinkin' about it, I think I'm ready

I mean, if I'm being completely transparent with y'all

Uh, like my lifestyle hasn't really changed that much

Uh, you know, considering, uh, where I think I'm at musically

Like I'm still at the point right now where pretty much any bitch that tweets at me anything remotely flirtatious

I have seen not just one of your pictures, I have seen the entire catalog

That's the type of shit that's goin' down over here right now, so...

I am definitely ready for that, uh, next step, y'know what I'm sayin'?

I think it's close, too

I think it's close

Like, uh, Diddy tweeted about me

Uh, y'know, that... I don't know if he handles his own Twitter

I would assume he probably doesn't, actually

But, like, I'm so confident that I feel as though, like, me and Diddy will have a moment just about this outro

Like when we're both sittin' next to each other smokin' cigars

And bein' like, "Ay, remember when you said that shit on that outro?"

Like, and I'm like, "Yeah. That's, this is the exact moment I - I did that for, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

Bring the - bring the beat back up. I don't know why

Like, keep, loop everything. I wanna be talkin' for minutes, yeah, uh, y'know what I'm sayin'?

Like, uh, shout out my Macbook Pro

Had that shit since '09

I made my first song ever on it

Like, when I called myself Lil Dicky

I made my, like, fuckin' album song on that shit

And we survived, baby

Uh, shoutout Allen Iverson, Larry David, Will Smith, and Kobe Bryant

For makin' me the man that I am today

Both on and off the court

Shout out my mother

What a great woman

She's so mad I recorded these conversations

She - she honestly went crazy

It took so much convincing to allow this

But, she's awesome

She's adapting to the rap game, as we all are

Look, I just want to get this to a place where I can sell TMZ pictures of my actual asshole

Heh, y'know?

Cause, well, I, I think that'd be such a feat

If I could actually create, like, an alt alias

And sell TMZ pictures of my own asshole

Like, profit off of that

That, I would totally do it

I don't know why Seth Rogen's not already doing it

I don't, I'm seein' the signs that it's not, I'm

I think I'm seein' the signs

I hope I am

If I'm really just misreading all these signs

Then, I am 100% gonna have, like, a legitimate nervous breakdown

Uh, at some point very soon

So, we'll find out about that

But I see some signs

Like, like I really am not fuckin' that much

But, like, the other day I did fuck a bitch to music

Like, I fucked a bitch to some Miguel

And that's kind of new for me if I'm bein' real

Like, I had never actually done it before

But I was feelin' like I was some king shit

Y'know what I'm sayin'?

So, I was like, "Man, Imma fuck this bitch to some Miguel right now"

Uh, actually to be completely real to you, I, I will never fuck a girl to music again

I found the whole thing to feel, like, completely cliche

Like, I don't need my emotions dictated to me by, like, music

It makes me feel like I'm in a TV scene

Takes all the, like, realness out of the moment for me

Like, actually, was actually super weirded out by it

So, but still, like, I am about to let my hair down

And, I don't know, I just feel like it's all comin'

I feel like, like, I'm literally, like, about to find out about everything

And it's exciting

And, I, y'know, I, I had pinkeye last week

And I remember thinkin' that, as I, like, was like, real down

Cause I was, like, trying to keep recording and shit

But I was thinking, "What would Michael Jordan do?"

And he would play through the pinkeye

So that's why I'm in here

I'm still not fully recovered, y'know what I'm sayin'?

I, I'm definitely clearin' up

Like, it's totally on the upswing

But, I just want you know I did record this shit through pinkeye

Alright, I could talk for fuckin' years

Legitimate years

This is an outro to an out

You see how long I talk with outros to songs

But, goddamn

Look, I need to get out of here

I'm 'bout to go take a Khalifa

Rest up

That's right, I did invent that phrase just there

"Take a Khalifa"

Y'know what I'm sayin'?

I also invented "That's what she said"

But I get no credit for it

Uh, oh, shoutout to Dickheads, obviously

Fundin' this whole operation

Whatchu know about a Kickstarter, man?

Whatchu know about the best fans in the world?

Seriously

Thank you guys, I appreciate it

Honestly, you made my dreams come true, and that's fact

Couldn't have done this without y'all

Uh, I'd like to shoutout my dick

I know, y'know, we haven't had the smoothest relationship

But, I feel as though by kind of putting our issues out there

Like, we have become something bigger than we could have become otherwise

And, hopefully soon you will be rewarded for your patience

And I will be rewarded for my patience

I, and, I respect you

I'd like to shoutout my brain

My brain got the hardest verse on the whole goddamn album

I hope my brain starts gettin' some feature looks

But he don't just hop on shit

Fuck, I, I got nothin' left

I'm out

I'm a professional rapper

Long live LD

And in case I don't see ya

"Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight."

mixtape: Hump Days (2014)

• Lion King
• Scary Story
• New Rap
• Workaholics
• Beef
• Hit Me Up
• The '90s
• The Basement
• Back In Business
• A$AP DICKY
• DEEZUS
• Flames
• Darwin
• Make Belief
• Russell Westbrook On a Farm
• We Made It Freestyle
• Spontaneity
• The Gumption
• Really Scared
• Free Bread At The Outback
• I'm Right 

Lion King lyrics - Lil Dicky

Now look at all these muthafuckas out on Pride Rock

Lotta livestock

Think it's cause Sarabi ride cock, or she did once

Cause they celebrating Simba

Lil cub, errbody gotta kneel cause

Deal was, lions was some muthafuckin real thugs

And the fear of, being turned into a meal was

Such a fright yo, but on the real they hella nice tho

This specific pack of lions acting like some white folks

But Africa is full a brothas, one is Uncle Scar

And that muthafucka wasn't nuffin funny son he hard

And he mad too

Cause he just wanna be the man too

First it was his brother, now another king is brand new

Baboon drawin on a tree ya dig

There's something freaky bout rafiki, bet his weed legit

That muthafuckin monkey doesn't need comedians

The reason is, he laughin at the breeze and shit, it's weird

Alrite now back to the plot

Mufasa was a wonderful father, he loved him a lot

And Simba wanted to impress him every second he got

The youngn was taught... but then one afternoon he forgot

Thas when he holla'd at nala, to follow da balla

To crawl up in da squalor

Where all uh da lawless acknowledge his father

But they never gave a fuck bout a little bitty pup

Aw shucks... they gonn eat this mafucka up

Until his dad came through, and smacked dem bitches in the head

Coulda had em dead, but he let em runaway instead

Now he really mad at dude

He cute when he sad tho

And the simple truth, Simba doin what his dad do

Shit... now das some real talk homie.

But he can't own them fields with dem lil paws homie

And real dogs only bark at bitches when they gotta do

Taught him to, think when he at the line like an audible

And now the part I abhor

Lil Simba chillin with a chameleon, perfecting his roar

Could a been a gecko but dat shit echoed, effectin the gorge

Was accidental, but you know what's in store, the stampede scene

Shit... and he was all up on a stick, gotta hold a grip

Simba you done got up in some shit

But his dad came through, and he saved him man

But as he climbed with them wounds, Mu raised his hand

But dude his brother on some muthafuckin scar face

Scar face, lit up like a muthafuckin star'n space

Hard place, and a rock, mufasa caught up in between that

Das his brother but that brotha was a mean cat

And when he threw him off the ledge

Simba couldn't believe dat that muthafucka dead

Tears being shed

Scar got up in his head

More dread for da boy, so he ran away and fled

Timon and pumba time

The young cub grown up, what a beautiful lion

They grub bugs, cub's nuts hittin puberty while

The voice of change up - ferris buller style, ya know

And they was tryna eat a beatle

A lion came through, tryna dine, hella regal

Then pumba got stuck, bout to get his ass cut

But then Simba stepped up, and defended like a thug do

Rollin round he realized who it was too

Hollad back at nala like whassup boo

Hugged smooth

Confused

Nala lookin pretty, titties done grew

Butt cute

He bout to fuck soooooon

Then he nuzzled from the back

And he cuddled from the front

He was really mackin jawn

She all up on his junk

You could see me jackin off to scene, believe dat

The young me, fuckin around with cats, I need that

To recap, lotta feedback, Simba react

The fam need dat... but ya man can't be back

He just wanna do his thing ya dig

But he the king

Even tho he wadnt feelin it

Until he met up with the monkey

What a funky fuckin junkie

But he spunky, told the muthafuckin lion bout his country

And he ran back

Pride rock got it's man back

But damn... the whole land hella ransacked

And then he saw scar with his mom

Sarabi lookin hella worn, hidden Simba looked on

As scar did her like a dog, hit her hard with his palm

Forreal dog?

Alrite you fuckin with the God now

Long growl

Pimpin' handle bidness like a boss now

Tossed down

Talkin shit to Simba bout to cost clown

Scar tell the young'n that he killed his pops tho

Foreal mafucka? He revealed his hops bro

And clocked on that muthafuckin sucka with a cross

Rocked uncle with couple then sunk him with a toss

He on't play that shit... brothas and lacrosse

Real talk... the dogs done finished him off

And pride rock was back where it started at

The meals back, fields packed with the hardest cats

Foreal jack... the animals is feelin dat

The real is back... and I just spit the realest rap, ya know

And Simba musta hit it hella freaky

Gotta keep it PG

But you see Rafiki with da pee =wee baby

Dat right there mean he merckin' it right

The dude piped... but that's just the circle of... life.

Scary Story lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Looking at a bitch, it's a beautiful view

Snookie kinda tits, with a booty for two

But she really fit, word to Scooby and Doo

So I pursue it like I do in the booth

That mean I really wanna hit, holla at her like ayo what it do

I ain't your daddy, I ain't mad at you moves

The way you dancing got me staring cause you badder

Than a bear at the zoo

Who doesn't care particularly for the food

And get embarrassed when there is a lot of people staring into his lair

And he very hairy and the air isn't good

She said okay I'm understanding the comparison

So chill with the narrative, cause you scaring me away from you dude

Then I said, I said okay, that was my bad

Know my pick up line's sad

Wanted to impress you, why the fuck you think I buy plaid

We should go to my pad

Let you hold the iPad climax

You looking better than an imax

Decide fast, cause I'm bout to get up in the the ride and take a ride fast

She replied yes, now we driving

And now she kissing on ya dude

But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Now your man is rolling all around the motherfucking city

While he holding on a bitty

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

While he holding in a shit

He can't control it, so he focused, but she groping on his dick

He wanna bone her, but he told her that he feeling sorta iffy

But she really wanna get it bro

Feeling on a testicle

But Lil Dicky reeling what he feeling is intestinal

Goddamn it what the fuck should I do

Cause shawty really wanna get in the mood

But Dicky been had to poop

And now she kinda confused

Been persistent but the kid been tryna resist her moves,

Doing 60 in a 20, I got reason to move

Cause I been squeezing on my buttcheeks like a prisoner do

And now I'm getting close to panicking

Stomach is unraveling

Every fucking bump has got me clutching on my abdomen

I swear this isn't happening

I'm staring at the back of the Cadillac in the passing lane

Swearing up at the traffic mayne...

Man this is harder than all madden

I'm airing out the car because I'm farting like a savage

She started fucking grabbing, on ma part to make some magic

But I'm hardly harder than some corduroys up on a rabbit

So I tell her that the plans change

Don't mean to act strange

But I gotta go, I left ma phone up in the last place

She gave me the sad face

Started typing numbers at a fast pace

Glowing black case on the dash, great

So I told her thanks babe,

But I forgot I gotta water fucking plants up at my aunts house that way

But shawty still up on your man

She caressing and undressing me and then I shit ma pants

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Now ya man is rolling all around the motherfucking city

Trying hold in that he shitted, cause he rolling with a bitty

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

But he tripping, and he twitching cause he hoping she don't sniff it

But he only got a minute till she notice that he did it

So he pull over the car and

Do it like he Tarzan

Rip all of his clothing then go into the forest

Minute later shawty came in the nude

And then I laid her on a sycamore root

Nobody knew that I pooped

Nobody know that I pooped

Fucking right, nobody knew that I pooped

Until I got back in the wip up with that chick

And she could sniff all the poop and

So then I told her that it must have been goose,

She said I think you mean geese

I said that's what I mean

Seen a dozen of them motherfuckers in the ravine

Then she said what's a ravine

I said the thing in between us and all the greenery

I mean it's a stream, don't know why I said ravine

Then she said oh I see, and then

[Outro]