EP: I'm Brain (2017) - Lil Dicky (as Brain)

• On Smash
• Cocaine
• Whippin' It Up
• Brainstorm
• F Slo
• Interlude
• How Can U Sleep 

On Smash lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Brain:]

Brain

I'm Brain

I'm Brain

Brain fuck a hood bitch (sup, bitch)

Brain don't give a single fuck (no, no, no, never)

Brain'll look a grown man right up in his face

Tell that man he should toughen up (knuck or buck)

Brain fuck a ant mound (it's soft yo)

Brain fuck with cream cheese (the spread)

The Brain fuck with poppy seeds (texture)

The Brain don't even got a penis

Swin Cash, balling like a bitch

Whoa, Nelly, I'm the shit right now

Library tryna get it in

Tell that loud li'l bitch pipe down

Brain got it on smash

Brain got the club jumpin'

(Brain got it on smash)

Everyday I wake up, get money, count it up

Do the math, Brain about to buy a new dick

Brain don't really give a damn at all (aw nah)

Lookin' at your bitch like damn, he wrong (him?)

Lookin' at your dick like damn, you soft

Lookin' at Lebron James brain like what's happenin'

[Lil Dicky:]

Ayy, Young L, big pimpin', you can call me Shawn

Son of rappers, and I'm a bitch

You can call me mom

Hit me when you need that shit

Lil Dicky like the John

Jammin' like Lebron

Ey, like the Fonz, ey

Yo, fuckin' her good, yeah

Fuckin' her good, yeah

Good as I could, yeah

Good as I could, yeah

Ay, look at my bitch

Look at her lips

Look at her good hair

Why my girl look like she work for a department store or something?

Why my girl look like she working for a Macy's?

Why your bitch lookin' like she work and shop at Ross?

Where I know you from?

I seen you, I'm just struggling to place it (huh)

Why I got a bitch butt-naked in the bath tub, while I'm in the shower that's adjacent?

I can see her contemplating masturbation

Hope she doesn't, that'd be weird

But I get it (woop)

I also got the neck so long like a giraffe

Suck on titties like a calf

Went a few rounds like a draft (yo)

Still got bitches

Still got bitches (yeah, yeah)

Still not different

Still not different (yeah, yeah)

I swear to God I'm bout to fuck Julia Roberts (swear)

I think a star is afoot we should converse

Baby I've been down south kickin' shit

Outhouse with the shit

Mike WiLL told me he was proud of my penmanship (thanks)

Brain feeling limitless

[Brain:]

Dave, lemme finish this

[Lil Dicky:]

Okie dokie Brain am I great?

[Brain:]

Like an immigrant

Brain (Brain), fuckin (fuckin), like (like)

He was Timberlake with his bad bitch (Jessica Biel)

Brain ain't got no dick but she don't care

I got no hair

Picture Brain rollin' 'round with a broke person, hmm

Picture that, yeah

Picture Brain rollin' 'round with the windows open

Screamin, "I'm Brain!"

Brain got it on smash

Brain got the club jumpin'

(Brain got it on smash)

Everyday I wake up, get money, count it up

Do the math, Brain about to buy a new dick

Brain got it on smash

(Brain got it on smash)

Brain whoop yo bitch ass

(Brain gon' whoop yo bitch ass)

Not yo bitch like your girl, but you

You a bitch Brain would never hit a girl

Motherfuck your bitch

[Lil Dicky:]

I be looking at her like Fnnnnnn

I be looking at her like Eeeeeeeeeegh

Lemme get it

Lemme get it

I be looking at her like Fnnnnnn

I be looking at her like Eeeeeeeeeegh

Lemme get it

Lemme get it

Lemme get it (fuck)

[Brain:]

Every-every other brain can't even measure up

See me then

See me then

Faggot

Cocaine lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Brain:] Brain

[Lil Dicky:] LD

[Brain:] You mix some Brain with some LD

[Lil Dicky:]

Never even done cocaine

I've never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying

Never even done cocaine

I've never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Never even tried it, I've been close-minded

Party girl, party girl

Out in LA with a party girl

I was all good with Bacardi, girl

Now she tryin' to up the ante

I was kinda drunk and handsy

Johnson looking long like Randy

Hoping that my pitch is strong

Now she's like "let's do some bumps"

Ew, chill I don't do that (Ew!)

Poured a rail and she blew that

Now I'm scared, I look pussy

Spark the blunt 'cause I do that

She was sniffing that Tom Hanks

I was just sipping Chris Brown

She keep on sniffing that Zeus (Coke)

I keep my eyes on the ground

She like "don't knock it 'till you try it"

That's some bullshit (yeah, I know)

Just do a line of this Betsy Ross

I started thinking, can't deny I'm a pussy

Like as a child I was so dissmissive of the baked potato 'till I tried that shit

Now the baked potato is my favorite kind potato

Now she got me wondering what else I left on the table

Twenty-eight, I still ain't done no anal (true)

And I'm unusually skeptical

But man oh man this bitch was raw

So I asked her for some Molly

She like "start with Miley"

I'm like "give me Molly"

Crazy 'cause I

Never even done cocaine

I've never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying

Never even done cocaine

I've never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Now I'm doing Molly, I hope I survive it

[Brain:]

Brain

Flippin' a bitch and I'm poppin' this shit and I don't really feel it yet

He never done it before and I'm worried I'll feel neglect

But I ain't trippin'

Balmain, Brain 'bout to get to kissing

I'm sauced up, fucking with this breezy boo

Haven't eaten since four, man I need some food

Why these broke people looking at me? (you broke)

I'm feeling good and happy

Hold up the Molly kicking in now

I think I should sit down

Brain for the win now

I think we should dip now, girl let me know (we should dip)

Brain overwhelmed losing control of this front lobe (hello)

I was G'd up, now I'm T'd up

Like a ball playing motherfucker in Atlanta

Shout to Dwight Howard

In case she didn't let him (ew!)

And now I'm puking

Girl I blew it, but I was just doing my j-o-b

[Lil Dicky:]

Brain, what the fuck is going on?

[Brain:]

The molly got me shakin' and clenchin' on the jaw

It got me going crazy

[Lil Dicky:]

It got me going crazy

[Brain:]

How the fuck you blame me?

You the one that popped MDMA

When you never ever even done cocaine

Never even done cocaine

Never even tried

Oooh Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

I never even done cocaine

Never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying

I never even done cocaine

I never even done cocaine

I never even tried it, never even tried it

Never even tried it, I've been close-minded

I never even done cocaine

Never even done cocaine (that Paul Rudd!)

I never even tried it, never even tried it (Sue Bird)

Never even tried it, you know I ain't lying (Meryl Streep)

I've never even done cocaine (Like Joan of Arc!)

I never even tried it, never even tried it (that Ross Perot)

Never even tried it, I've been close-minded (Betty Boop)

Whippin' It Up lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Lil Dicky:]

Ooooh

[Brain:]

Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

LD AKA 'Cream'

[Brain:]

People are always saying to me

"Hey Cream, how do you come up with the stuff you come up with?" (Because it's so cool)

And it's not even me

It's Brain!

[Lil Dicky:]

Fuckin' with these hoes I'm a popular dude

Got some hot top like the popular do

Rest in peace B.I.G. but I'm Pac and I'm smooth

'Bout to go after two, I'm a hoe after two

And look, I still get chose like I'm rockin' a suit

[Brain:]

I don't know if I prefer like a blonde or brunette

You get held up pickin' locks, robbery moves

I be scoffing at you like a prosperous jew

Hold up, Brain 'bout to spaz

What the fuck you want Brain do?

Come through and the club's all crowded (fuck)

Fuck you want Brain do when he can't even move when he in the club

Brain gotta make moves (fuck up out the way homie)

Brain got great moves (where you seen me dance dog?)

The Brain fuck with field hockey (what a sport)

The Brain knew Bin Laden

[Lil Dicky:]

How you wanna do it, how you stoppin' the kid?

Just get it off your chest, rockin' a bit, chomp at the bit

I got to get another property, monopoly shit

And y'all sketchy motherfuckers like a comedy bit

I just met with Netflix on some comedy shit

Then I went to Costa Rica on a tropical trip

Parents worry 'bout the price, started talking and shit

But it's a nominal hit (peanuts), make it back in a jiff

Because

[Brain:]

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' and whippin' and whippin' and

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

The Brain thought of that one

The Brain whipped it up, Brain whipped it up

[Lil Dicky:]

These rappers like Barry Melrose

We don't dislike you, we just don't really care

[Brain:]

The Brain came through with a bottle of the Nair

Made my bitch rub it all over her pussy

[Lil Dicky:]

My bitch likes Bun B

That's some new shit to me

Bitches that I used to be fuckin' with would only fuck with Houston's for grub and they frumpy

[Brain:]

(Brain) The Brain heard about tidal wave in Seattle

They say it's imminent still no-one moved

The Brain just don't know why they don't think it matter

Humans can't breathe underwater, what gives?

[Lil Dicky (Brain):]

Y'all wanna know why I stopped eatin' pussy? (Tell 'em)

'Cause I looked up the facts

If 85% of us have oral herpes who am I to say that I don't? (True)

And if I get oral herpes on the pussy and we fuck

Then I'm fucked (Fuck)

[Brain:]

Fuck you want Brain do?

He know all the facts, what the fuck you want Brain do?

[Lil Dicky:]

Middle of the pack, all you rappers is gum

Going in with the trash, I be chewin' 'em up

[Brain:]

Brain fucked a thoroughbred down in Preakness

Like a horse, I ain't talkin' 'bout a bitch with a ass

Brain hear it all the time, he a genius

[Lil Dicky:]

Hey, you a savvy motherfucker Brain, giving you that

I'm the type of motherfucker on a call with a CMO

Bitches tryna catch a glimpse, bitches at Sia shows

Girls look at me and think "How does he fuck?"

Bet they heard through the grapevine

In daytime, I take dimes like a paid line, and make time

It's they prime, hittin' on the jew like it's a hate crime

Speaking of that, they won't even book me in Dubai (Why?)

Apparently for jews it can be hostile

So my new goal is to buy like, Dubai like

All of it

I don't know, I just wanna go there

[Brain:]

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin'...

Oooh Brain is overwhelmed, he's fuckin' up, ohh Brain

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' it up

Brain just been whippin' and whippin' and whippin' and

Brain just been whippin' it up

Feel like we goin' crazy

Feel like we goin' crazy

Real life we goin' crazy

Suck me, fuck me, drive me crazy

Brainstorm lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Lil Dicky:]

Cool Brain

Y'know, I think you might be better off

Focusing just a bit more

[Brain:]

What, whatchu mean I'm f-

I'm locked in bro I'm

Whatchu mean?

[Lil Dicky:]

No it sounds cool and all I'm just saying

Like you know

Maybe it could be a little less random

Or if you-

[Brain:]

Man, don't get all high and mighty at me bro

My shit a wave bro

Fuck outta here

[Lil Dicky:]

No totally and I like your music

I think it's-- I like it

I just think I'd love it

[Brain:]

Man

[Lil Dicky:]

Let's just come up with some ideas for you

[Brain:]

Like song topics and shit that's what you sayin?

[Lil Dicky:]

Yeah exactly let's brainstorm some topics

[Brain:]

Ohhh no you said brainstorm?

[Lil Dicky:]

Uhh yeah just a brainstorm

[Brain:]

Brain gotta think

Brain don't even know

[Lil Dicky:]

What's going on?

[Brain:]

Usain Brain, they call me Usain Brain cuz I'm fast

[Lil Dicky:]

Brain in the club

Brain thinking up stuff

Brain pourin up

What's going on man?

[Brain:]

Tell 'em Brain! Heyyy!

It's a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Time to think of some ideas

It's a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Everybody know the drill

Oh it's a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Time to get my ass in gear

Brain don't even know

But the Brain don't even know

But the Brain don't even know

[Lil Dicky:]

What the fuck is happening?

[Brain:]

Brain so overanalyzed

Scrutinizing every single move

[Lil Dicky:]

So weird

[Brain:]

The Brain had no further questions Your Honor (I object)

Well I can testify

There was a brainstorm

There's a brainstorm

Time to think of some ideas

We in this it's a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Everybody know the drill

Oh it was a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Everybody know the drill

Woah Nelly it's a brainstorm

It's a brainstorm

Better bring your best ideas

[Lil Dicky:]

What the fuck was that?

Did you even come up with anything or no?

[Brain:]

No, not yet, but the process is underway now

So any minute

I should be cookin' I should be whippin' it up

[Lil Dicky:]

Alright, take your time

It's your process just let me know

I'm always down to help whip or whatever you need, so

I'll be, I'll be in the kitchen

[Brain:]

Whatchu want, whatchu gonna make?

[Lil Dicky:]

Nah, I'm actually just gonna clean the kitchen

[Brain:]

Oh alright, bet

[Lil Dicky:]

You say bet now?

[Brain:]

Yeah

Alright, see you later Brain

F Slo lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Brain:]

Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

LD

[Brain:]

Hey man, the way these bitches when they fuck on us

This shit, the friction in this shit hurt bro

You gotta talk to them bro

[Lil Dicky:]

Ok

I tell her, I tell her, I tell her

Chill, girl. We should chill, girl

You been humpin' on me too fast, keep it real girl

[Brain:]

The brain on the same page

[Lil Dicky:]

Fucking another one, "Damn, LD how do you slow a hoe down?"

[Brain:]

I'm 'bout to show a hoe how

[Lil Dicky:]

Baby girl, let's slow it down (yeah)

Drill her when I'm in it, I admit it

But I hate it when these bitches ridin' dick super quick

Aggressive ass movements hurt my dick (ow)

I don't know why, just the way my dick was built (oh)

Getting the impression when they get up on erection that they think it'd be impressive just to go full tilt (fast)

0 to 100 bitches going full Wilt

Seriously afraid that my dick might wilt (hurts)

[Brain:]

Out and 'bout with my Spanish bitch

Throw that hoe a middle management at the Radisson

Why she hoppin' on the brain like a savage bitch?

She fuck me ravenous

I'm assessing damages, shit

Coronating all the money bags

Coronating all the fucking ass

Orating, I don't like it fast

Pores chafing when she fuck me fast

(And the Brain don't even got no dick)

[Lil Dicky:]

(Woah) But I got a dick, and I'm tryin'a do it like this

Let me fuck slow on you girl

Let me fuck slow on you girl

Where them hoes lookin' bomber than a landmine?

Will my bros that be fuckin' on 'em stay alive?

Let me fuck slow on you girl (chill, girl)

Let me fuck slow on you girl (said chill, girl)

[Brain:]

And the Brain got them bitches on stand-by

And the Brain getting hungry Raisin Bran time

[Lil Dicky:]

Chill girl, we should chill, girl (we should chill, girl)

I've been looking at them ol' breasts since they real, girl

Thinking through the words like I read it

Esketit like a Brain, if you see a tight end then he toss like Bennett

1 in 7 down, going down like credit

Don't get shook like lettuce (lettuce)

[Brain:]

Brain tryin'a get fucked

Brain tryin'a get sucked

Brain been lit for a month

Fucked a bitch on that kiss cam

Yeah I been doing my thing

LD now they been checking for Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

Hey, we should go flirt with this dame, kay?

[Brain:]

She should come flirt with the Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

But this bitch has it all like a Genuardi's

Now my mouth is watering just like my spot for Hardee's

I'ma go chill with the girl be back [?] all day

Young L, I got a knack for hauling that

I might even get up in the bathroom stall with that

[Brain:]

Please, you ain't been fucking like Brain

[Lil Dicky:]

I got this shit like a car alarm when that car is parked around thieves (ooh)

Got this shit like gardener that's in charge of all of your trees (ooh)

Young LD got a poppin ass shirt check

Backstory, kinda poppin, where's my work check?

I might even go up to the bar and cover her check

[Brain:]

And then you'll say what?

[Lil Dicky:]

Let me fuck slow on you girl

Let me fuck slow on you girl

Where them hoes lookin' bomber than a landmine?

Will my bros that be fuckin' on 'em stay alive?

Let me fuck slow on you girl (chill, girl)

Let me fuck slow on you girl (said chill, girl)

[Brain:]

And the Brain got them bitches on stand-by

And the Brain getting hungry, Raisin Bran time

I fuck, I fuck with Raisin Bran so heavy

That shit hard

Brain

Interlude lyrics - Brain (feat. Lil Dicky)

[Lil Dicky:]

Brain, you're so cute

[Brain:]

Aight

[Lil Dicky:]

I just..I felt really in the moment there, the way the light is just glistening off of your creases

[Brain:]

I...I'm tryna focus, bro

[Lil Dicky:]

Okay, okay. Can I do one song like without you on this project?

[Brain:]

Without me?

[Lil Dicky:]

No, it'll still be your song, but you'll be more like a DJ Khaled of it. Like..the organizer, the facilitator as oppo- like you pick the rappers but I just wanna go really hard like really bad without you be-

[Brain:]

What makes you think I'd even pick you, bro?

[Lil Dicky:]

Well, c'mon, Brain. We both know that you would pick me

[Brain:]

Well this shit better be hard, bro

How Can U Sleep lyrics - Brain (feat. The Game & Lil Dicky)

[Lil Dicky:]

LD

AKA homicide

Yes, homicide

OG's knew I had it poppin'

IG lookin' Photoshopish (it's lit, it's real)

They just can't take charge so they floppin'

New shit looking like it's knocking

Rap game, not a game, well I ain't broke so it's cast off

Really I been keepin' shit a hunnid like the Cubbie tryin' to close it with a fast ball

I don't even do this shit for money but they buying it in droves like it's half-off

If Dicky gotta show out there

You know he 'bout to show out there

Rol on my arm

Russ on a farm

Piston, new guard

They put the boy on the Jumbotron

Just to pump up the crowd

At my ten year reunion, like look at me now

Having good sex on the reg

New Tempur-Pedic, my bed

All of my lawyers are black

Shit is ironic as hell

But I guess that what happens when Jews started rappin'

Used to have turtles, no wonder I'm snappin'

Used to commercial, right, used to play Madden

No wonder they let me do both for a bag

I was not in a frat, I had never conformed

In a 2000 cab I had never performed

I ain't takin' no L's

Fuck what you sell

I barely pay for my drinks, doin' well

I tell 'em there is no need for the glitz

I don't need sparklers, they know that I'm lit

I'm on top of the world, fuck all these girls

I prefer momma to play with my curls

I can tell all of you rappers ain't thorough

Head hit the pillow and boom it's tomorrow

But how can you sleep? (ew, ew)

How can you sleep? (ew)

How can you sleep? (gross, how?)

How can you sleep? (how? ew)

How can you sleep? (how? gross)

How can you sleep? (how? ew)

How can you sleep? (how? ew)

You still asleep

[The Game:]

How many bitch ass rappers I gotta slap 'till they put on Worldstar?

Even though Q passed away

Pull a '38 out of my pocket and then cock it

Leave a nigga on an island like he in Castaway

Cock strong since them old Doc songs (thug life)

Like an old Pac song, outta my mind

The lights on, but I'm not home

Something is wrong with me

I done brought six strippers from Vegas home with me

Trees bought game to getting blown with me

FaceTime with Karrueche, they on the phone with me

Tell K good night, I'm hype, I might ignite

Plastic cups, Promethazine and Sprite

Man I don't really know who's song this is

Who's weed I'm stealing and who's bong this is

And I don't really give a fuck 'cause I keep the ammo tucked and you can keep on swinging from my nuts

But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God

Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw

I don't give a shit

Big or tall, short or small

I'll cut your dick off and sit it on Trump's wall

Then spraypaint "Fuck the President" it's evident

Hip Hop dead, them new niggas irrelevant

Different color braids, you niggas stuck in the maze

Ain't grew up by a beach, to say you ridin' a wave

Man, I'm so glad that Guwop out

And rap fans still give a fuck what 2Pac 'bout

I'm right here, I don't give a fuck who hop out

Don't let Mark Zuckerberg get you knocked out

And don't try me over IG

Don't try to be subliminal and get it by me

I'm a criminal, I'll leave you hooked to a IV

Next to Jimmy Iovine over hood shit, but-

[Lil Dicky:]

We could start with rap shit

I ain't never lost at that shit

Let me clear it up, Proactive

I could walk up in this motherfucker looking everybody dead up in the eye, like we can rap for that shit

You'll get embarrased

I'll be in Paris, don't compare us

Flow the rarest

Got bitches in the bed room, over sharing

Got an Aussie and a Brit like I’m going with Sharon

So apparent, Heir apparent

But I don't want it next

Someone tell Complex it ain't complex

And what you lookin' at is now like a Timex

I am checked the on now off the clock like compound

I'm really adamant, you're really adequate

I'm really passionate, I'm Billy Madison

I'm the motherfucking graduate

Twenty ten with a pen, I didn't plan this shit

My plan legit, I manuscript it

It was living by the candle stick

But for the plaques I had to mantle it

All my friends thought Dicky was a joke

Now they tryin' to see a show

Now they out of breath, tryna speak good

I remember everyone that didn't think I could

Every publicist who thought that I was mocking hood

Look what what you were tryin' to stopping jerk

Look who tryin' to rap now

I don't even fuck with you

If what's done is done, how come I ain't done with you?

And if it's fucking done, come on how dumb is you?

Let me get another tissue

I'll be crying 'till the fucking bank pull that card again

From Charlamagne to Busta, Game, to Puff, to Sway, Questlove, T-Pain, from Snoop to Chainz, it's all the same

Ain't no debate, they know who fake, they know who great

You don't know your place

Cameras around me, they don't know your place

Shooters around me 'cause I entertain

I got 'em shooting they movie

I could meet a bitch on a Tuesday

Girls come to me

Don't got jewelry

Don't feel bad when I bust in my jacuzzi

Don't eat ass but it still be lookin' juicy

Front page, coming at you like a news'ie

Hoes didn't choose me, now I'm choosing

Now I got a Jap on knees like sushi

Lil' dick got vert, no Uzi

I might just pop that coochie, bruh

OG's knew I had it poppin'

How can you sleep? Ew

How can you sleep?

Professional Rapper (2015)

• Meet The Burds (Interlude)
• Professional Rapper
• Who Knew
• Lemme Freak
• Lemme Freak For Real Tho (Outro)
• White Crime
• Molly
• Bruh...
• Hannibal Interlude
• $Ave Dat Money
• Oh Well
• Personality
• Pillow Talking
• Parental Advisory (Interlude)
• Classic Male Pregame
• The Antagonist
• The Antagonist II
• Parents Still Don't Understand (Interlude)
• Work (Paid For That?)
• Truman

Meet The Burds (Interlude) lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Phone ringing:]

“Hello?’

“Hi, any better out here?”

“Yeah, much better, yeah.”

“Buenos noches.”

"You’re back from Machu Pichu and you’re speaking Spanish?”

“It’s ‘buenas tardes’.”

“So how’s Dave Burd doing?"

“Ah, he’s alright, you know. Taking it one day at a time.”

“Um…”

"Well, wait, can we hear… say a little bit more about what that means?"

"Uh, yeah, I mean, I’m here in LA, I just moved here, obviously.”

"Wait, wait, wait, we’re still having trouble. Maybe you should try calling him back, Jean."

"He’s got bad reception where he is is the problem."

"Can you hear me?"

"Is that it?"

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes, now I can. Yep."

"Alright."

"No, now we can’t."

"Wait, Stewart, let him talk. Go ahead."

"What do you mean “You can’t”? Why can’t… You can’t hear me?"

"Yes. We can, go ahead."

"Did you see that commercial for Anchorman 2?"

"Which one? There’s plenty of commercials."

'Ok, Stewart, let him talk about what’s going on with him."

“Alright, go ahead."

Professional Rapper lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Snoop Dogg)

[Spoken:]

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"Hi, my name's Dave Burd. I have an appointment today.

It's probably under 'Lil Dicky,' actually. I'm a... I'm a rapper, so..."

"Ok, and who are you here to see?"

"Uh, Snoop Dogg? Says here "Snoop D-o-g-g"

"Oh, yeah. He's right down the hall. First door to your right. Give him a knock and he should be right with you"

"Thanks. It's uh, this door right here, right?"

"Mm-hmm"

"Thank you"

[Lil Dicky & Snoop Dogg:]

Grab a seat

Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet

Dave, what it do? You can call me Dogg

Let me just check your sheet

No problem, sir, let me just say

I'm a big fan of the shit that y'all make

I can't lie, I been thinking about this all day

All good, there's a reason that we called, Dave

Let me start with your background

Where you come from?

Sure, I was undergrad down there in Richmond

Before that

Oh, you talking bout my hometown?

Yeah

I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly old town called Cheltenham

It was in the suburbs, upper-middle wealth around

So real shit you ain't never had to struggle for much

I wouldn't say it like that, we just had a different kind of trap

Elaborate

Well I ain't never had a tool, but I had to be the man at school

Like I was doing shit I had to do so when I finished undergrad, I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted

But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping

Yeah, and I saw it quick all the flaws that be coming when you grow up like that

When you been racing them rats, you ain't been making them raps

Boo hoo what a hardship

How you paid to get the rap shit started?

Man, my Bar Mitzvah money

But don't diss me buddy, I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose

I must've wanted this a lot, I had something to choose

Look at that, I can say there's something to prove up in your ass

Yeah, I guess

That's enough of the past, what makes you want to do rap?

Oh my God, it's the best

Bitches let me draw up on their breasts

Literally I can reinvent myself

I get a forum to project myself

It's never boring, every morning I wake up and try to best myself

I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself

It's kinda healthy

Cool, now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals

Sure

In a club and a couple niggas threaten you

Uh, I wouldn't do shit

And I don't even get what that got to do with this?

Shut the fuck up, rap's like life

If you wanna do this, then you won't get far acting like a little bitch

Nah, that's my niche

Don't get offended by this, but that's the market y'all missed

That's the target I'll hit

And that's the heart of my pitch

I wanna do this whole thing different

What the fuck you mean you wanna do the whole thing different?

Uh, you know, I-I think, like, you know

Traditionally people have been doing the job the same kind of way for a long time

But traditionally speaking, this shit works, right?

Nah, like, I get that, but I-I just think that, you know

You don't know if it could be working even better

And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out

I don't mean any disrespect by that

I'm just saying I have a different background

Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant

[Lil Dicky & Snoop Dogg:]

So what are your biggest strengths?

Well my flow is crazy, I can switch that amazing

For example, I can be like ain't nobody fucking with Lil Dicky

When he get up on that shit and spit it sick and ridiculous

Ripping this shit like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable

Cause I can switch it, deliver this shit in whatever cadence you bitches prefer

Alright, alright, I get it

Top of that, lyrically I'm pretty damn clever (Go)

Got a long bottom bitch, call the hoe Neville (Whoa)

And I blow it from the jump, Derrick Rose knee (Oh)

You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better

And y'all been winning like Pistorius, there's no feet

Bro, I can go on and on

I'm taking over and they mad like father in laws

OK enough of the punchline, that ain't showing me you different from the other guys

Well I don't know if they can run it like that

But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap

What's that?

Well I can tell a story about my morning

Watching Boy meets World and jerking off to Topanga Lawrence

Like the 14 year old Topanga

Oh this shit like a joke to you?

I don't get it

Nah it ain't like that I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual

Like it's a guy

So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie

Real recognize real, right?

Yeah, I guess

So what you trying to do?

Five years from now, tell me bout the dude

Well, I don't care about the money

Like, it's the respect that I'm wanting

Honestly, I just want to be one of the greats

Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate

I don't wanna leave the game the same

In a nutshell, what's your legacy?

Well, I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap

With the random rap and the man like that for the people that was anti-rap

Yet, the fans of rap start to recognize that anti-rap

Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left

That shit sound pretty damn complex

I guess, I wanna be the best

I just wanna do it my way

And turn the whole game sideways

And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway

You can make a path while these motherfuckers drive straight

I ain't mad at that

Well thanks, man, that's my plan of my attack

Just let me in and I'm a rap the plaques

And I ain't about to win them back to back

I'm bout to win them like it's back to back to back to back to back

Til I stop rapping

You ain't even sold a damn album yet

True

That's a lot of talk from a wiley vet

Let alone a young rook nigga

You misread me

Nah this ain't a book nigga

Well that's one of my flaws, I'm too competitive dawg

No, you just fucking repetitive dawg

I get it, you trying to be better than all

But you ain't shit until cheddars involved

I get that I gotta prove myself

No shit you ain't done shit

But think about that though

Only doing this a couple of years

One tape and I'm like this?

This shit is aight for your first shit

But you don't know if it's your worst shit

You don't think finding out would be worth it?

It might be, it might not

But I'm a put your ass to work, kid

Wait, like, like I have the job? Like really?

Well one more thing, let me see if you could put a hook together

What would you do for the hook for this song?

You want me to make a hook up right now?

Do I look like the type of nigga that like repeating himself?

Alright, uh, okay

Man do the hook

I'm bout to be professional

Homie, I'm professional

Uh, maybe like a low voice type thing?

Nigga, that shit is garbage man

Well, you know, I feel like there might have been some upside to it

But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that

Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes?

Sometimes, but you know, that was some next level Dogg shit right there

Yeah, you know, I'm just way better when I get to think things through

Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing

Whatever man, you trying to smoke a blunt?

Right now?

Yeah

Sure

[Lil Dicky, Snoop Dogg & (Juanita):]

Dope. Juanita, bring some weed in here, please. Thank you

(You got it, Snoop. I'll be right there.)

Thanks, Juanita. Super nice woman

Nigga, why does everything you say sound so soft?

Uh, I really don't wanna be spoken to like that, so

Whatever. Thanks

(Hey, I got y'all y'all weed.)

Damn, that's some great looking weed. It's just so early

(Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here? Coffee? Tea? Head? Bottled water?)

D-Did you just say head?

(Yeah. You ain't never got no head before?)

I mean... Just feels like... A lot, right now

(Ok.)

But what kind of tea do you guys have?

(We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, english breakfast...)

Actually, I'll take head

(I knew your little dirty ass wanted some head.)

Who Knew lyrics - Lil Dicky

LD

A.k.a the Time Traveler's Wife

[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:]

I like to play it cool like I'm not that

On the low, who'd assume that I got that

I don't know, but the dude with the tall frappe

Looking all aloof being all that

Even Babe Ruth wouldn't call that

I don't even sweat it though

They been hesitant as if my credit low

And shit'll hit them quicker than an edible

I'm 'bout to run for Senate ho, you ain't even centerfold

Been on top of cheese, I ain't talking 'bout oregano

I'm talking 'bout your cheddar homie, revel in that

I'll hit a college and I'm fucked, like I'm pledging a frat

They 'bout to silhouette my nuts on American flags

Estoy contento, muy estupendo

Better hearse word to rent-a-car, Dicky Tony K

Y'all the Le Batard speaking to you lames, that's a seminar

I'm straight like a pleasant bar, ain't nobody ready for my repertoire

I wasn't getting credit like a debit card

But never mind, had to give them time to adapt

I'm kind of like a rap rendition of a fry in a wrap

Just try it as that

You rappers Rebel Wilson's vagina, you stank!

I take it back, I don't know that ho

And bro they used to

[Hook:]

Look around the boy, wouldn't raised they head

Now they looking at the boy like the main event

He don't even got a rap sheet, looking like a mathlete

How the fuck is he the one that come in with the crack

We like "Who knew, who knew?"

Used to look at me like "who you, who you?"

Now they look at me like "Who knew, who knew?"

Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew?

Now they look at me like

I am hip-hop Heisenberg

Young boy got dough for a quiet nerd

I am rap game Walter White

You might get killed thinking that he all polite

[Verse 2 - Lil Dicky:]

Buzz around the city, coming out of Philly

I'm about to get a milli, being me that's word to milli

I'm looking super silly, but cooking like at Chili's

You look at me like "Really?" but I look at you like "Who that?"

Oh you new here, I'm the bomb

Ok I'm Lebron, ok I'm the one

Ok all that shit confusing that's a quandry

What you call a pussy with a movement, that's a Ghandi

I'm tryna get better but science preventing

Because I'm undeniably clever, the highest of levels

I'm high in a sweater but rhyming like I'm lying in pepper

Don't mind the endeavor, I bet I do better than veterans

Cheddaring, let him on Letterman

Get him on L and I'm on, boy

I think I need a therapist the way I get in my dome

Doing D like they was Syracuse, when they up in they zone

Used to load it on chrome, now I really ball

Living like a fucking letter man, never mailing the song

Though the dime flow rubbing combos in Tom's shoes

With blonde hoes getting Peyton like the Broncos

I'm on ho, vanilla looking but the rest of y'all the John Does

It's pretty odd bro, cause they used to

[Hook:]

Look around the boy, wouldn't raised they head

Now they looking at the boy like the main event

He don't even got a rap sheet, looking like a mathlete

How the fuck is he the one that come in with the crack

We like "Who knew, who knew?"

Used to look at me like "who you, who you?"

Now they look at me like "Who knew, who knew?"

Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew?

Now they look at me like

I am hip-hop Heisenberg

Young boy got dough for a quiet nerd

I am rap game Walter White

You might get killed thinking that he all polite

Get up off my dick, ho

That's an unassuming dick, though

Get up off my dick, ho

That's an unassuming dick, though

("Who knew, who knew?"

Used to look at me like "Who you, who you? ")

Get up off my dick, ho

That's an unassuming dick, though

(Now they look at me like "Who knew, who knew?"

Now it's Dicky with this, who knew, who knew?)

Get up off my dick, ho

That's an unassuming dick, though

Lemme Freak lyrics - Lil Dicky

Drunk, faded, browned out, looking all shady

Two months since I fucked a lady, young man dick going crazy

Standard Saturday, I'm about to get a cab and masturbate

Then I see a hot girl, look back at Dave

Lemme get your cat girl, no Hathaway

That's what I thought not what I said to her

Instead I walk up to her, like "I know you heard of the kid

You heard what I did, you heard of my shit, the murderous spit."

She's like, "Naw, you're being weird, what are you talking about?"

I'm like, "Aw..."

Pulling out my phone, like a boss, YouTube 'bout to get her off

But as I type the y-o-u, some porno pop up

I'm like, "Hold up, how did, that's not even me

Like, I don't jerk off mobily..."

Then her friends coming up

And wanna know if everything is okay

I'm like, "Naw, this a rape, you can't tell?

Gimme a break, please. Get the heck away."

I turned to her, "Let me buy you a drink," she like, "Fine."

Told the man, "Two Patron," she like, "Lime."

Said he tried twice, the card got declined

I'm like, "All ri-, is this a, could it be a machine issue?

He was like, "Naw,"

I was like, "Obviously there's something wrong

I got dough, like I'm not broke...

I got donuts with the same card like about an hour ago."

He like, "Dude, I don't know."

Now I'm looking at the girl she just wanna go

And I ain't talking 'bout with me, bro, I mean alone

I got one more chance to prove myself, so I'm like

"Look, I'm athletic, girl, I've gotten several Rec League MVP's

At my crib I've got some pizza, plus a little bit of weed

In my room I've got a TV, plus I recently did sheets

Girl, I even have a fridge that has the water on the door

Like with the crushed ice"

You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now

This is me coming at you as a man right now

Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak

Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak

The girl from the first verse, somehow let me fuck

Fast forward, seven months, we in love

Some real serious relationship type shit

Despite this, I ain't fucked for days

Tried last night, but was pushed away

But I've been acting well behaved today, I smell okay

Adele Pandora's playing, now she laying

On the floor and I'm praying this bitch is horny

I go and give her a smooch

She kissing Dicky back, so I play with her boobs

Bad move, she don't like that

Bad mood, her boss being mean to her

Via email, she wanna write back

I'm like, "Right now?"

She like, "Yeah, what do I say, can you just help me?"

"Oh, okay, what's the context?"

Then she like, "Well, he talks to Jane before coming to me."

"Who's Jane again?" I said, she like, "Wow, you should know that..."

"Okay, I guess I forgot," she like, "Dude, that's my other boss."

"Okay, true, so shouldn't your first boss

Go to the other boss, before you? Right?"

"But Jane isn't hands on!" she yelled

"Okay, well I just don't understand the dynamic then

I don't work with these people." She started crying

"Wait stop, what the fuck is this?"

"Naw, you don't ever take my side."

About an hour later til' I'm on her good side

We in bed, hands on her good thighs

I try to kiss, she like, "Good night" but I'm like

"Look, I just turned off The Departed for a movie 'bout a bee

I've been cutting back on farting, tweeting, arguing and weed

Yesterday I wore a cardigan at dinner with your sweet

And supportive aunt during the fourth quarter, of the Eagles

Now reward it.."

You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now

This is me coming at you as a man right now

Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak

Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak

Fast forward some more, June sixteenth, twenty seventy four

Old LD looking old as fuck, still with the same ho, holding up

But my life sucks, legs hurt, friends dead, real terse

My dick looking like it's tinfoil

Her tits looking like they hard boiled eggs

On top of that, she insane

Like, I don't even think she knows who I am

Our kids moved away, we've been doing the same shit for days

Maybe months, who knows, probably going to die soon

Pretty scared, I ain't even gonna lie to you

Think about it all day, on my last legs

But I'm going out with a bang

I got pills they invented back in fifty seven

I took five, that's a bit excessive

I look high, take a look at my thighs

And good god that's a little erection, it'll work though

Now I've gotta find the ho, I'm pretty much blind at this point

I don't know if I mentioned that yet, but I am

Made my way into the bedroom and there she is, I'm like

"Look, I don't know if you're aware that

You've been throwing out my shoes

What I do know is, I'm sick of doing nothing here with you

All my blood is in my dick, I'm probably dying pretty soon

Are you even comprehending what I'm saying

Please acknowledge that you hear me..."

You know I don't give a damn what your plan right now

This is me coming at you as a man right now

Lemme freak, lemme freak, God dammit, lemme freak

Just lemme freak, please God, just lemme freak

White Crime lyrics - Lil Dicky

Lot of rappers talking that shit, not enough doing that shit

Y’know I’m sayin’? Yeah

[Verse 1:]

People acting like I ain’t a fucking criminal

Like I ain’t never doing dirt though

Probably cause the way I’m doing shit is clinical

But I’ve been putting in some work, breh

I see you looking at me cynical, stop looking at me

I ain’t fucking with your smirk ho

We’ve been doing shit, despicable

But we just keep it on a low, for example

Walk in to the movie with my pants full

Twix, bag of chips, plus a Snapple

Stealing all the shampoos, from the hotel’s pretty bathrooms

Cheating, I’ve been peekin’ in the classroom

Looking like a nice guy, ‘til I take your motherfucking Wi-Fi

And torrent every single song in my library

Then I drive by very fucking high by everybody

While my lady licking my five inch dick

[Hook:]

White crime

White crime

Yeah, we ‘bout that

Do a lot of dirt, never doubt that

Lot of rap twerps, let it shout crap

Let it make their mouth flat

When it come to burd, no, we spout facts

You 'gon learn what I’m 'bout, breh

[Verse 2:]

Doing business at the airport

Ask security, I ain’t fraught

Lot of shit up in my JanSport

Six ounce of the face wash (the limit three)

My duffle bigger than what can board

My shuffle on during take-off

Will I help in an emergency? Yeah, sure

Exit row, fingers straight crossed

Thinking Dave’s soft

But I know you see me J-walking

Piss in public, no caution

Halloween bucket? Take one, fuck you thinkin’ Dave was

Give me all your motherfucking chocolate, ho

At the stop sign, never fully stopping though

Filling water cups up, with a lot of coke

Egging homes, motherfucker, a lot of yolk

Not alone up in this motherfucker, a lot of folks, been doing…

[Hook]

[Verse 3:]

Even though the speeding limit sixty five

I’m doing seventy five without a seat belt on

And I’ve been texting, driving reckless

I was seventeen when I first tried a Guiness on the tennis team

We used to haze a lot of freshmen

Lil Dicky put a hoop up in the street

Without obtaining permission

From the city, and every Christmas day

I’m going to cinemas with single tickets to single flicks

But go to additional pictures, sorry, but your boy is malicious

And back when I was eighteen, statutory raping

This little ho, even though we was dating

And if I am taking public transportation

On the quiet train I might have a conversation

Fuck it I’m the man

Puitting trash up in some other people’s cans though

At the work fridge, stealing can coke

And up at the holiday party, I’m grinding colleagues on the dance floor

Dick been rubbing against their assholes, say it’s not…

[Hook]

Molly lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic at the Disco)

[Spoken:]

Yeah. Man, this is the softest thing I ever did.

But... it's about something that's pretty important to me...

And that's you

And that's true

I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,

But I do

What do I do when the rap-life

Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight?

Make a young couple do something sad like,

Being broke up even though we had life.

Fuck it, I don't even know what I could have done

Looking back thinking, "That's what I should've done."

Wanted you back

But when the fact is I always put you second to rap

I'm not mad that you wouldn't come.

And even though I had to move, I ain't move on

Really wish you was a boo I could prove wrong.

But she knows what I'mma do with the new songs

And she know them pretty soon when your dude on

Running the rap game, with that lane.

Always got to be up on that train, or that plane

Ain't nobody wanna feel that pain, or that strain

Wishing I ain't gotta get that fame

Or I'd claim you, know I'd give you my last name.

But that blame on me

Chasing something, feeling dumb 'cause you all I need.

Hope you wait until I'm done and I'm all free,

But you know I'm never knowing when that's gonna be

And I'm sorry.

It's the hardest rule to follow (I'm thinking of you)

I really wish that I could call you (What can I do?)

You can find another me tomorrow,

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.

If I woke up and I called it quits ('cause I'm thinking of you)

If today I gave up all of this (I don't know what to do)

Maybe I could get you back tomorrow

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.

And that's you

And that's true

I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,

But I do

What do I do when the rap-life

Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight?

Make a young couple do something sad like,

Being broke up even though we had life.

When I'm being dumb and stupid

Who the fuck is gonna hit me with the motherfucking jerk face?

Who's gonna let me know to hit my mother on her birthday?

Who's gonna let me know when I be shopping if a shirt's gay?

And when I'm on the road I be missing that.

Always looking at my phone, you would give me crap.

Ever since I've been alone I've been thinking back

Listening to you auto-tune in my mic phone making us laugh.

You know the past was a blast but it never could last.

Pretty sad when your love got a separate path

Used to read when there's nothing to do

But it's funny

Doing nothing's never nothing when it's something with you.

You know I wanna still talk, even text and call

Whenever something going on I be pressing "Moll"

Up in the phone til I press the X

Stressed the next one'll best the ex,

And you'll forget, but it's best.

You the best to me girl, always bake me something

And when they ripped off, you replaced my buttons.

But don't be pissed off if I hate your husband,

'cause even when I can't say, "Love you,"

I love you

It's the hardest rule to follow (I'm thinking of you)

I really wish that I could call you (What can I do?)

You can find another me tomorrow,

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.

If I woke up and I called it quits ('cause I'm thinking of you)

If today I gave up all of this (I don't know what to do)

Maybe I could get you back tomorrow

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.

And that's you

And that's true

I really wish I didn't care about you anymore,

But I do

What do I do when the rap-life

Make a motherfucker choose up in that fight?

Make a young couple do something sad like,

Being broke up even though we had life.

It's the hardest rule to follow (I'm thinking of you)

I really wish that I could call you (What can I do?)

You can find another me tomorrow,

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, babe.

If I woke up and I called it quits ('cause I'm thinking of you)

If today I gave up all of this (I don't know what to do)

Maybe I could get you back tomorrow

And that's the hardest pill to swallow, baby.

Bruh... lyrics - Lil Dicky

Bruh...

Bruh...

LD

Bruh

A.K.A. stem cells

Everybody know the cat like a dope meme

I got em' buzzing off the crack like a dope fiend

They saw em' come up with a Mac yeah I'm so Steve

Nowadays bitches tryna crack got 'em ODing

Like how them hoes want to get it with L

They know it's cold enough to charge like a letterman sale

If they gon' stand behind the bars I'm in federal jail

I'm going far like a general mail

On that note I got the fellas saying what up, the tape what up

The same mothafucker playing with his steak cut up

I'm great, shut up, the flowing no debate just us

I'm out of shape but I'm straight to fuck

Yeah you know I got a chicken in the condo

I was sick of getting off beat she a bongo

Now she playing with the hard D being Rondo

Drunk and go inside her all sweet like a Strongbow

How I'm'a do?

I got your ex coming next like a W do

I gotta flex, I'm the best, now I'm being direct

I'm unimpressed by these bitches that I see in the press

I'm kinda vexed by the trash like I'm cleaning a mess

Cus they as real when they rap as a Chias a pet

They old news stocks plummet! Men's leg hair they ain't cut it!

Forget about your era, Pat Summitt

Finesse writtens

I wanna get a hundred bitches and fuck with the spitting

Religious like a couple of post-marital Christians

I've been official, Dick Bevetta a living

You better dig it like you bitches got a mill in the ditch

I'm killing this shit I been kicking like a villainous ninja

My shit is gripping when I run it how the fuck I be slippin

I be intimate with them hoes, she never flummoxed

I take chick, pee and smash, I call it hummus

And I be funny with this shit, I'm just playing

But still nobody fucking with the kid I'm just saying

Ah! Got a chicken parm on the date it seem

But I don't even know the broad, she just grating the cheese

I don't even got a job I just blaze and free

But still they give a boy bands, 98 degrees

So come fuck with me

I got a couple hundred bitches doing drugs with me

And I got a couple dozen bitches tryna hug Dicky

And I got a couple bitches who be steady fucking me

Hey, that's a good ass life

Only thing I got left find a good ass wife

But yo I gotta hit these hoes first, don't tell Mom

But in a year I'm'a bend over Michelle Obama

Bruh you know I gotta do it while I'm hot

I'm tryna get blew in most states like Barack

I'm tryna show a boo the last name of the Rock

And put her on D till we O, J Watt

I never hit the scene when I do I'm high and wasted

I'm fucking with them jeans love them bitches high waisted

I run around your team, you a player but I'm Naismith

And I Command V, while you copy I just paste it, face it

Hotel got 'em puffing on the L, going harder than some hell

You ain't knew it

If everybody had to tell the truth and you had to pick a dude

Spitting better than your dude: can't do it

Telling me damn you got bitches, damn you got hoes

Damn you got money, but damn I got flow

Damn you got riches, damn you got clothes

Damn you got honeys but damn I got soul

Hold up. This shit I'm making's always tight it's like a yoga store

They all up in the other boat it's why I'm overboard

I'm taking time to do it right it's like a soda pour

Cus we ain't loving all you bitches like we spoken for

I been packing the band-wagon, the man cracking

The man packing the stands, had them clapping they hands

Tagging they ‘grams, Manhattan was ham

Slapping the fans, playing havin' the plan

Fans rapping the jams, sagging my pants

You see the type of shit I do on the track?

Hot shit like I poop in the jacket

Won't mack your bitch but yo I'm bout to come and mack your clique

Your whole friend group fucking with Dick (no hetero)

I yawn when I hear these motherfuckers on the radio

They ball all retarded Cuba Gooding up in Radio

I long for the moment I can say that's not debatable

I'm past that, I wonder who appreciate it like a Snapchat

Aflac, duck the dude, I'm going hard for the grind but I tuck this move

I made war with the rhymes, motherfuck your crew

These bitches going Adolf, tryna fuck this Jew

I'm too nice like a motherfucker that fell in love with a boo

Twice as in double as fuckable as he was

And dude tries to be subtle and get her cuddling

Venting her troubles and getting her truffles and ending up

Befuddled when she don't fuck him and someone tell him listen

You bugging she never fucking a pedestrian muggle like you

So why all the trouble but he rebuttal with

I think I just love her so I would shudder at the thought

Of being anything other than nice

(I’m that nice)

Heat bang like I caught a body/Port-A-Potty

It wasn't even deep dang shit is still a hobby

It's too bad bitches sleeping on me threesome

Cus now these bitches want to help but he don't need none

I'm all time like the Wall at the Bank

You've no shot like you drawing a blank

Honestly you probably couldn't hang man

I've been drawing a blank

Giving you lines while you sitting there and drawing a blank

So go in the rink, chilling like it's dough in the bank

And I’m flowing danker than a grower in Napa

Growing the stankest cannabis

Doing rap and pro-est smacking the hoe-est rappers

And showing the total package like my flaccid is growing fatter

Samoan cracker dapper rapper had to keep goin

Yeah that rap is a rap I know you rappers napping don't know it

There’s a dagger pita pappa-tapping on the window

It’s a real accurate metaphor of what you having in store

And I be snapping I mean I be splashing on the

Pane me your rain, fallin

Quicker than Aladdin for his dame

Are you better than me?

Bruh

Hannibal Interlude lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Hannibal Buress)

[Lil Dicky:]

And now a message from Hannibal Buress

Blaa, uh, sorry, sorry

And now a message from Hannibal Buress

[Hannibal Buress:]

Aye, mane, I'm fucking with this shit. It's good to listen to a professional rapper for once, but Lil Dicky is a horrible rap name. That's some weird shit; you got grown men having to call you Lil Dicky in the streets like "Aye, what's up Lil Dicky. Bars man, you be spittin' bars". That's real inconsiderate for you to make that your rap name and it's probably - Is that the worst rap name? I saw a dude named Hogman, The Intruder, no, I just made that up, but it's it's not the worst rap name I've heard at all, man

Here's some tips if you rappers wanna be more professional:

First of all, stop rappin' over your own vocals at your concert. Clear your goddamn instrumental and rap over it, I don't wanna hear you rappin' over your raps, muthafuckas. Also, stop have thirty five people on stage - who are these people?! Are you travelin' with these people or did you hire them locally? Did you pay for their travel? Get all of those muthafuckas off of the stage. It's confusing. I don't like it. You can't do that at other jobs. You can't be an accountant like "Hey I'm about to do your taxes, here's my thirty friends just standin' around doing nothing while I do your taxes"; fuck outta here

Also, stop talkin' 'bout the same shit. I don't think you have a fresh take on havin' money. I'm tired of hearing about it, I don't, I don't think it's interesting. These muthafuckas need to mix it up. I think I've heard every perspective on havin' money or I used to have money and I oh I got money, I didn't have money, I got more money than you'll ever get, I never thought I would get all this money, I had money now I'm getting more money. Stop getting soo many chains. You don't need that many chains - you only need one chain. Or if you're 2 Chainz, you can have two chains, but not more than that

$Ave Dat Money lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Fetty Wap & Rich Homie Quan)

[Intro:]

LD, AKA The Independent Variable

Trap God, and we servin' up the whole world

[Hook - Fetty Wap:]

Ay, where the gold at, baby?

Ay, where the clothes at, baby?

Ay, where the dough at, baby?

In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so thrifty)

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so stingy)

Ay, we gon' save that money

What we do? We gon' save that money

[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:]

Rap game got it all wrong

We ain't 'bout to go and spend money just to flex on them

We ain't really got it like y'all (Yeah, baby!)

I'm a type of motherfucker that'll check the check

Do the math, I ain't never gettin' robbed

Those margaritas not goin' on my card

I ain't 'bout to split a damn thing for convenience sake

I'm at the restaurant workin' that waitress

Hold up

You ain't heard of Lil Dave, Yung L, The Jew Biz Major?

Fuck you know about the world he was raised in?

I've been savin' money since a motherfucker thirteen

I wear the same pair of jeans everyday

Free sandwiches, homie, two stamps away

Book flight December but I leave in May

Drugs are generic but still work the same

I get logins for Netflix from my cousin Greg

Thanks Greg!

[Hook - Fetty Wap:]

Ay, where the gold at, baby?

Ay, where the clothes at, baby?

Ay, where the dough at, baby?

In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so thrifty)

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so stingy)

Ay, we gon' save that money

What we do? We gon' save that money

[Verse 2 - Rich Homie Quan:]

All of my luggage is Louie V, I swear to God, nigga

All of my bitches be scared of me, I put that rod in 'em

All of them bitches actin' thoughtless, I disregard 'em

All of them bitches actin' holy, ain't got no God in 'em

I can teach a lil nigga somethin', like a preacher

I can take his ass church fresh as hell, no Easter

I can make his ass burp like a baby without no hiccup

I can...

[Interlude:]

Quan what's this have to do with saving money though?

You know a full verse would have been too expensive anyways

I think

[Verse 3 - Lil Dicky:]

I ain't parkin' that unless the meter green, homie

Hair cut several months in-between, homie

Hit the motherfuckin' lights when I leave, homie

Single ply TP ass bleed

Air B&B the mother fucker, least I'm never there

I'm not in Cali, why the fuck my company in Delaware?

Happy hour takin' out the chicken, I don't even care

That applies to both dating and wings

Peep matinees phone bill got the motherfuckin' fam on it

401k rollin' over bands on it

Coppin' sweaters in the summer with the sale on it

The fuck you rappers bragging bout? You overpay for it

[Hook - Fetty Wap:]

Ay, where the gold at, baby?

Ay, where the clothes at, baby?

Ay, where the dough at, baby?

In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so thrifty)

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so stingy)

Ay, we gon' save that money

What we do? We gon' save that money

[Verse 4 - Lil Dicky:]

I ain't never hit a bar with a cover

Low thread count, hard with the covers

Free trial memberships though

I never join the shiz though

Fuck you think this is though?

Frequent flying like a motherfucking finch though

General Tso, half a dozen on the stick

Just so I can whet the appetite of dick

What you talkin' about?

My AC never doing nothing, blow fans

Walgreens card shoppin' all the off brands

Boy go hard when collecting, got Venmo

Save every motherfuckin' roach, tryna smoke

Check the clothes in my drawers, I ain't playin' around

It's LD, lil boy, Mr. Hand-me-down

Dirty drawers gettin' worn, can you blame me now?

You think I got $4.50 up in quarters on me well I fucking don't!

[Hook - Fetty Wap:]

Ay, where the gold at, baby?

Ay, where the clothes at, baby?

Ay, where the dough at, baby?

In the bank but you know I ain't tryna blow that, baby

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so thrifty)

Ay, we gon' save that money (I'm so stingy)

Ay, we gon' save that money

What we do? We gon' save that money

[Bridge - Fetty Wap:]

Every time these niggas tryna play

And lately I've been stackin' up crazy

Stackin' up all about the bands baby

800k underneath the bed baby

[Outro - Lil Dicky:]

If you at a restaurant and got an iced coffee

And the waiter been refillin' that without a word of caution

And you get your fuckin' bill and you can see 'em double chargin'

For the coffee and you told 'em there's a problem

Sing along like

Oh don't double charge for me for that

Don't double charge me, we like

Oh don't double charge for me for that

Don't do it to yourself

Cause I might just ask what the ice cube's worth

What the ice cube's worth

That's the only differentiator making this a non-free perk

And I might make work more difficult for you than it need be

So think about it take a minute let it breathe B

But think about it bruh you saw me get the burger with the bacon on the side

After looking at the price of the side of just bacon

And comparing it to the what the difference in the cheeseburger

Vs. the bacon cheeseburger was and making my decision

I would hate to be the waiter trying to tell me something different

I'm a get on Yelp in a minute and review

This piece of shit place like only a kyke know how

Unless you take the extra coffee off I might get loud unless you...

Oh, it was just an accident?

You didn't even mean that [snicker]

You didn't... that was... that's... I'm so embarrassed

Oh Well lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Jace of Two-9)

[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:]

Oh well, I'm ignorant

But not to the fact that I'm ignorant, of course

I know that, I'm indifferent

I don't care to know what I don't

I don't care 'til I'm coming home

And my dad tell me some shit about when he my age, he was doing shit

Protesting about something that I forget currently

But that's not the point, the point is

To my pot, the boy is in the crowd devoid of giving a fuck

I would call his bluff but I've been thinking 'bout it

And shit, he ain't wrong, though

I don't vote but I think I did at prom, though

I don't know about a world if it's not home

I don't even know the first thing about what Obama do

I'm better off telling y'all what Lebron been doing

I don't even know what my mom been doing

I hit her up every Sunday

And we talk, but the call's going one way

In the dark, if it's not what I'm doing

Never been aware from the start, but I knew it

I don't even care how my tech work

If the shit work, put it there, turn it on, we can do it

Funny thing is I could look it all up today

Constructive way to buck behavior Dave hate

And placate the debate within my brain waves

But the shows I watch all start at 8 so

[Hook 1 - Lil Dicky:]

Oh well

It's the season finale, so...

Oh well

I kind of have to watch live, people are gonna tweet about it

Oh well

But I'm aware of all this stuff, I'll figure it out

Oh well

[Verse 2 - Lil Dicky:]

I do care when my phone's dying

Like, when that shit's red and I can't text

And I can't check what my fans said

I get mad stressed

Laying in the bed but I can't rest

Till my gram checked, wish I cared less

Leave it at the crib, I'm a damn mess

I should stop for a day, wanna try that shit

Drifting away, I wanna ride that ship

Dinner on the table but I'm unable to be tasteful

Underneath, I'm a like that pic

Watching the show on a phone, filming Coachella on phones

Hoping I capture the moment so I could post it

Don't live in the moment, hoping I'm still in control

But I'm praying I'm not alone

All the fans say I'm great at talking to 'em

They don't even understand I am not the man

I just can't go a day with being alone

When I'm with friends, though, why the fuck am I still on my phone?

Wishing I could look this shit up on Chrome

Wishing I could take a second to stop and reflect it

But someone just texted me

[Hook 2 - Lil Dicky:]

Oh well

It's actually like an important text

Oh well

I'm trying to solve, like, logistical issues

Oh well

It's time sensitive is what I'm trying to say

Oh well

[Verse 3 - Jace:]

I was gonna do a line, but I sneezed

I was gonna smoke, but I need weed

I just wanna roll up and then leave

But everyone keeps on talking to me

Like "How's Mike Will? You know Rae Sremm?

I like "No Type" but I really hate them"

Like I asked for your opinion when I barely even know what day it is

I'm passed through and through on loans and my rent

But I just bought new J's and shit

Going way fast on a one way road with the window down tryna wave at them

My mom says I should go back to classes

But I'm in the strip club and I'm clapping asses

And my bitch look like Jacqueline Onassis

But she lies a lot and can't kick the habit

I've tried to stop giving passes to those who front it cause that's living backwards

And they give two cents when I ain't even ask them

Treat them like exams and I need to pass them

I'm twitching dutches, I don't do the backwoods

But this gas station don't carry those

And I'm tryna smoke, man, how traffic

Here's a 20 and some change, man, you can have it like

No

[Hook 3 - Lil Dicky:]

Oh well

Oh well

Oh well

Personality lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. T Pain)

We ain't ever been the mother

Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck

We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort

Just to show them that we better

Get the broads like that

It's how we do it!

Hey bitches

Uh, I know I can be a little bit much sometimes

But really I just do that shit for the fellas

You know, I rap for the fellas

But like, this is for y'all

I ain't even strong like that

So average, I ain't tall like that

We just trying to show a little respect

Maybe you go for it

I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it

We ain't never been ballers

But we getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

Honestly I'm like a seven with my hair long

Maybe seven and a half facial hair strong

But I make these bitches laugh and I care for them

I'm the type of motherfucker pulling out the chair for them

I ain't ever been the g at the bar

That get them bitches hella wet just by seeing his arms

You know the boy about the leg work

I plant seeds, I'm a mexicano gardener

All I'm saying is I ain't playing the game with these bitches

I ain't mean to em, I prefer to show them everything that I can mean to them

Lil Dicky thrive with a friend of a friend and I never hesitate to tell them that I love Rent

I am not a stud I'm a boyfriend

I love love and I cuddle for enjoyment

My dick small but I'm telling you it's nothing by the time

That we fucking they so emotionally interested they really be cumming

Drinking champagne oh you trying to dance babe

We can hit the floor I'm bout to show you how to man shake

We can make a handshake

Keep you safe and walk you to your damn place

Then I got you bouncing on my rubber like a trampoline

What you doing tomorrow? I'm with it

I'm a take you to the zoo and be cordialant witty

I'm a tell you hella stories and be mindful

Bet you get a little horny like the infant rhinos

I ain't even strong like that

So average, I ain't tall like that

We just trying to show a little respect

Maybe you go for it

I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it

We ain't never been ballers

But we getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We ain't never been ballers

But we getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We ain't ever been the mother

Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck

We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort

Just to show them that we better

Get the broads like that

It's how we do it!

When I get your gchat, that's a wrap hoe

Smoke weed, eat the pussy like a snack hoe

Bake lays, you on top like a wrap though

Bet you think I'm nice in person I ain't talking rap shows

I ain't gonna pick you up at the club

But if I get bout an hour with you, bet you in love

I'll ask questions

Oh you did your hair? Little Dicky pay attention

Oh you getting scared? What's the root of all this tension

You know I'd be a hell of a date and if you torn I will split the entrees that you crave

And when you bored I can send you Snapchats for days

And make them personally for you like they all will be based around the inside jokes we develop in time

And if you tired won't initiate the sex it's fine

I can talk you on the phone when you driving alone

And make you feel comfortable enough to take me to mom

And that bitch goin' love it

She goin' tell your ass you legit yo a hubby

She goin' tell your ass need to quit your clubbing and go get that youngun

While I'm sitting with your dad being slick straight grubbing

I can take you out to brunch call me hollandaise

Know exactly what you want every holiday

I can text you like a motherfucker

Wordy and impressive 57 on the Ketchup

Hit you when you coming through

I ain't even strong like that

So average, I ain't tall like that

We just trying to show a little respect

Maybe you go for it

I'm the one that you need and you just don't know it

We ain't ever been ballers

But we getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We ain't ever been ballers

But we getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We getting pussy with our personality

We ain't ever been the mother

Fight a stack and get a hundred fifty bitches on deck

We the type of dudes that be putting in the effort

Just to show them that we better

Get the broads like that

It's how we do it!

Lil Dicky...

T-Pain... We goin' get them hoes one day man

We goin' places

Like... together?

Not on a date, but we're goin' places (oh OK)

For instance, I saw this nice looking young lady that I was attracted to sexually in the grocery part of Target.

And I wanted to put my penis in her vagina, but I didn't tell her. And that, my friends, is the definition of a motherfucking gentleman!

Pillow Talking lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Brain)

[Lil Dicky:]

Ey, ey

Damn

L tapped twice on some ass like grams

I just fucked

Now what I'm doing?

I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy

I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)

I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy

Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch

[Lil Dicky (The Girl) {Brain}:]

I'm like "Girl, that was great, talk about a connection

Am I alone in my praise, do you share my assessment?"

She like "Yeah, that was nice, I enjoyed myself"

"Great, yeah"

She like "Can you reach that shelf for my phone?

I'll take care the alarm"

I'm like "Oh, for the morning, like to sleep?"

She like "Yeah, we just had sex

What did you think?

I was just gonna fuck you and leave?"

"No, I... I hadn't thought that far ahead

But of course, can I get you a T-Shi-"

("Oh, can you not tickle my hair?

It's just a personal thing, it's not you")

"Okay, sorry for doing it"

(No, no, it's just a personal thing, it's not you)

"Okay cool, yeah

Uhhh, so you're from Minnesota?

Only thing I know is that it's colder

Break it down, how's it compare

To living in LA?"

("Well, I can't compare them they're so different

Y'know what I'm sayin?")

"Yeah, for sure"

She like "Apples to oranges"

"Yeah, well you can still compare them but I hear ya

What's the deal with your family? Got any siblings?"

She like ("I have a brother"), I'm like "Oh, what he do?"

She like ("He in the Army")

"Oh, true

Uhh, do you fuck with the war?"

She like ("Huh, what did you just say?")

"Huh, like just now?"

("Yeah... ")

"Do you fuck with the war?"

("No, I don't fuck with the war")

I'm like "No, I don't fuck with the war

Just don't know how to react to the forces

I should have just thanked you of course-"

("Uh, why would you thank me? ")

"Uh... I guess I assumed it would extend to the families but okay

While we on the topic

I been actually thinking about some shit

About the Army and Navy

What if tomorrow is the day

That the fucking aliens came

And invaded our nation?

Like, would we even be able to fuck with their shit?

Like do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ships?

Or not at all, like would they just walk up in this motherfucker

Laughin' at us, and blastin' at us

And makin' everybody disintegrate and assimilate

Without a hint of intimidation?

Or could we do some shit to be making they heart race?

Granted I don't know the alien heart, but

You get what the fuck I'm sayin?

Like what the fuck would it be like?

Would they be like Earth go hard?

Or is it just another conquest?

Or would they be like damn earth go hard

They was harder than Simian

You ever talk to your brother about this uh type of stuff?"

Then she like "No"

I'm like "Well, what you think?"

She like "I don't concern myself with hypotheticals that couldn't be"

I'm like "Girl, what you mean?"

She like ("I don't believe")

"In the war?"

("In aliens")

"Oh... hold up

Hold up, wait

Girl what you sayin?

That all of the life in the universe happens to be where you stand?"

("I guess")

"What an enormous coincidence that shit would be

Do you see what I'm sayin'?"

("I can't hear what you're sayin'")

"Well, the universe always expanding

There are infinite galaxies

Why would we be the anomaly?"

She like ("That's no coincidence

I call that shit God")

I'm like "Oh, you're religious, bitch

You think it's all God?"

("No, I know it's all God")

"No, I know that there might be a God

First off, nobody knows there's a God

Girl, I think we should drop this"

("No, what's goin' on in your brain right now?")

{(Brain) Ayy, brain on some other shit though

I been all up in the club for the year, hey (Brain)

I been killing shit, don't mind me

I'm just top flight, I could sure use a Sprite, I'm thirsty as fuck

Who getting money? That's brain. Who make decisions? That's brain

Who make the hits? That's been brain

Who run the whole operation?

That be brain-}

Brain, can you just get back to the issue here

{Uh, can you just remind the brain?}

You're such an idiot, we're talking about God and if he exists

{Don't call brain names

The brain couldn't recall

But if I'm not mistaken this bitch to my left

Guaranteed there's a God}

("I believe in a God, yes")

{So God never wrong

God never wrong, right?}

("Yeah, that's like the whole point")

"Brain just get there, please"

{Hold up

So God made the earth

And God was like hold up, this shit is boring

It need more shit

God was like I'ma put dinosaurs on that bitch

Dinosaurs on that bitch

Then he like why I put dinosaurs on that shit?}

("What is your brain even saying?

Can he get to the point?")

"Hold up brain you just did it

God ain't wrong, what the fuck was he thinking"

("About what? ")

"Bitch, the dinosaurs

He made the Earth for them

But then he like nah?

Dinosaurs are just blah?"

("What's your point?")

"I'ma cook up some blondes?

Like he was way off

I don't look like a dinosaur

Hoe them things thirty-five-feet

I'm like five-foot-eleven" (Up on Tinder I'm six-foot)

"Seen that Bronchiosaurus

That thing fuckin' neck go to heaven

And that's just an expression bitch

There ain't no heaven"

("Ha, funny")

"I'm just messin' but if he ain't wrong

I guess this the exception"

("Can I talk now?")

"Go ahead"

("Look"

Everything in life has purpose

You, chickens, a midget at a circus")

"What?"

("I don't interpret"

She like "That's not for me to determine"

"So dinosaurs purpose was to just die?"

"That's not for me to determine")

"But... ok"

("I'm just a person")

"Okay, but think of the root of the argument girl

View how we started this girl, like you don't believe in the aliens

You confine God to earth girl, I find that shit salient"

("I just don't presume to know the plan")

"Bitch, me neither but that's not what I've been saying"

("But what are you saying?")

"Why can't God fuck with aliens?

Why can't Earth just be like a fucking small side project for this guy?"

("Ok, look we just don't see eye to eye")

"Yeah but logically like you don't believe in your side"

("Yeah but you're like bringing up fucking dinosaurs

Like we could have shared the earth with them nobody knows")

"Yeah, there is hard soil evidence girl

Like what's next you don't fuck with Pangaea?"

She like ("Let's change the subject")

"Ok..."

{This bitch don't know about Pangaea, uhm...}

Brain leave it alone

"I'm starving, are you hungry by chance?"

("Oh, my God, I'm so hungry")

"Yes, do you wanna get a pizza?"

"Fuck yeah". "Fuck yeah, I'm on it

Also I'm sorry about that whole interrogation thing"

("Come on dude I'm a grown up

I'm capable of having intelligent conversations")

"Okay, I just... fuck it

Okay back to this pizza I lean pepperoni"

("Ugh")

"Sausage?"

("How can you eat that shit?")

"No, no, no, this not Dominoes

This legit, is high quality meat and shit"

("No, no, I'm vegetarian")

"Oh right, well we can get half pepperoni

And half of whatever you like"

("Uh, ew, I can't have that shit

In the same box")

"Seriously? You're that against meat?"

("No, I'm that against us being gluttonous

Thinking that animals live on this earth to get eaten")

"Okay, is it how we treat them?"

("Uh, that sure doesn't help")

"Ok..."

She like ("I'm not opposed to us hunting

But now we not trackin' them down

We just breed them to eat

That's disgusting

You should honestly read on the subject")

"Alright, hold up

Just because we're not running around with a bow and arrow

Doesn't mean we're not hunting these chickens

We just set the place to do our hunting intelligently enough

To manipulate these animals and get them to do exactly what we want"

("That's my point we just incubate animals

Instead of just letting them live how they come")

"But, that's just your God at work, bitch

Why we go hard on earth

What you think would happen right now

If you left my place

And there were like three wolves waiting for you"

"Wolves?"

"Bitch, they would tear your ass up

Viciously

Like they would eat your titties" (And your pussy)

"That's what they do" (And your face and shit)

"Humans are smarter bitch

That's what we do"

She like ("Apples to oranges")

"Bitch, that phrase don't make no sense

Why can't fruit be compared?"

She like ("I'm gonna leave")

"There's just all of these conflicting principles"

("Right, enjoy your pepperoni pizza")

"I will, that's my God-given right"

She like ("Where is my bag?")

"Oh, that leather one next to the trash?

That's the one right? Made out of cow, I think?"

("Ugh why are there no Ubers in this area?")

"So you don't eat the meat, you just be wearing the shit"

("I'm not listening dude")

"That's barbaric as shit

Do you come from the vikings?"

("Why are you even still talking?")

"Do you take peoples land?"

("I'm not listening dude")

"Do you fuck with the war?"

("How are there no Ubers anywhere?")

"Just download Lyft, they are bigger in presence out here"

("I don't wanna add shit to my phone")

"Okay, the choices are clear, hoe

Ubers are not around here at all

Taxis will come but they real slow"

{And the brain gotta poop

T minus five till the brain gotta shit}

("I just downloaded Lyft, but it's being so glitch")

"Uh, look do you just want to sleep here?"

("Uh, no thanks")

"It's past 2 am"

("I'm not sharing a bed with you")

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll just sleep on the floor"

("Fine, you're sure?")

"Yeah, it's cool

I won't throw you out to the wolves"

"Oh, my God, you are so annoying"

"I couldn't help myself

But can you at least throw me a pillow?"

[Lil Dicky:]

I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy

I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)

I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy

Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch

[Lil Dicky (The Girl) {Brain}:]

{Brain gotta poop still

Please don't neglect the brain

Please don't neglect the brain}

[*doorbell rings*]

(Hold on, is that my Lyft?)

Nah, I got a pizza

Full pepperoni too

So, you're not gonna wanna be a part of it

{But first you should poop

Please don't neglect the brain}