mixtape: Hump Days (2014)

• Lion King
• Scary Story
• New Rap
• Workaholics
• Beef
• Hit Me Up
• The '90s
• The Basement
• Back In Business
• A$AP DICKY
• DEEZUS
• Flames
• Darwin
• Make Belief
• Russell Westbrook On a Farm
• We Made It Freestyle
• Spontaneity
• The Gumption
• Really Scared
• Free Bread At The Outback
• I'm Right 

Lion King lyrics - Lil Dicky

Now look at all these muthafuckas out on Pride Rock

Lotta livestock

Think it's cause Sarabi ride cock, or she did once

Cause they celebrating Simba

Lil cub, errbody gotta kneel cause

Deal was, lions was some muthafuckin real thugs

And the fear of, being turned into a meal was

Such a fright yo, but on the real they hella nice tho

This specific pack of lions acting like some white folks

But Africa is full a brothas, one is Uncle Scar

And that muthafucka wasn't nuffin funny son he hard

And he mad too

Cause he just wanna be the man too

First it was his brother, now another king is brand new

Baboon drawin on a tree ya dig

There's something freaky bout rafiki, bet his weed legit

That muthafuckin monkey doesn't need comedians

The reason is, he laughin at the breeze and shit, it's weird

Alrite now back to the plot

Mufasa was a wonderful father, he loved him a lot

And Simba wanted to impress him every second he got

The youngn was taught... but then one afternoon he forgot

Thas when he holla'd at nala, to follow da balla

To crawl up in da squalor

Where all uh da lawless acknowledge his father

But they never gave a fuck bout a little bitty pup

Aw shucks... they gonn eat this mafucka up

Until his dad came through, and smacked dem bitches in the head

Coulda had em dead, but he let em runaway instead

Now he really mad at dude

He cute when he sad tho

And the simple truth, Simba doin what his dad do

Shit... now das some real talk homie.

But he can't own them fields with dem lil paws homie

And real dogs only bark at bitches when they gotta do

Taught him to, think when he at the line like an audible

And now the part I abhor

Lil Simba chillin with a chameleon, perfecting his roar

Could a been a gecko but dat shit echoed, effectin the gorge

Was accidental, but you know what's in store, the stampede scene

Shit... and he was all up on a stick, gotta hold a grip

Simba you done got up in some shit

But his dad came through, and he saved him man

But as he climbed with them wounds, Mu raised his hand

But dude his brother on some muthafuckin scar face

Scar face, lit up like a muthafuckin star'n space

Hard place, and a rock, mufasa caught up in between that

Das his brother but that brotha was a mean cat

And when he threw him off the ledge

Simba couldn't believe dat that muthafucka dead

Tears being shed

Scar got up in his head

More dread for da boy, so he ran away and fled

Timon and pumba time

The young cub grown up, what a beautiful lion

They grub bugs, cub's nuts hittin puberty while

The voice of change up - ferris buller style, ya know

And they was tryna eat a beatle

A lion came through, tryna dine, hella regal

Then pumba got stuck, bout to get his ass cut

But then Simba stepped up, and defended like a thug do

Rollin round he realized who it was too

Hollad back at nala like whassup boo

Hugged smooth

Confused

Nala lookin pretty, titties done grew

Butt cute

He bout to fuck soooooon

Then he nuzzled from the back

And he cuddled from the front

He was really mackin jawn

She all up on his junk

You could see me jackin off to scene, believe dat

The young me, fuckin around with cats, I need that

To recap, lotta feedback, Simba react

The fam need dat... but ya man can't be back

He just wanna do his thing ya dig

But he the king

Even tho he wadnt feelin it

Until he met up with the monkey

What a funky fuckin junkie

But he spunky, told the muthafuckin lion bout his country

And he ran back

Pride rock got it's man back

But damn... the whole land hella ransacked

And then he saw scar with his mom

Sarabi lookin hella worn, hidden Simba looked on

As scar did her like a dog, hit her hard with his palm

Forreal dog?

Alrite you fuckin with the God now

Long growl

Pimpin' handle bidness like a boss now

Tossed down

Talkin shit to Simba bout to cost clown

Scar tell the young'n that he killed his pops tho

Foreal mafucka? He revealed his hops bro

And clocked on that muthafuckin sucka with a cross

Rocked uncle with couple then sunk him with a toss

He on't play that shit... brothas and lacrosse

Real talk... the dogs done finished him off

And pride rock was back where it started at

The meals back, fields packed with the hardest cats

Foreal jack... the animals is feelin dat

The real is back... and I just spit the realest rap, ya know

And Simba musta hit it hella freaky

Gotta keep it PG

But you see Rafiki with da pee =wee baby

Dat right there mean he merckin' it right

The dude piped... but that's just the circle of... life.

Scary Story lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Looking at a bitch, it's a beautiful view

Snookie kinda tits, with a booty for two

But she really fit, word to Scooby and Doo

So I pursue it like I do in the booth

That mean I really wanna hit, holla at her like ayo what it do

I ain't your daddy, I ain't mad at you moves

The way you dancing got me staring cause you badder

Than a bear at the zoo

Who doesn't care particularly for the food

And get embarrassed when there is a lot of people staring into his lair

And he very hairy and the air isn't good

She said okay I'm understanding the comparison

So chill with the narrative, cause you scaring me away from you dude

Then I said, I said okay, that was my bad

Know my pick up line's sad

Wanted to impress you, why the fuck you think I buy plaid

We should go to my pad

Let you hold the iPad climax

You looking better than an imax

Decide fast, cause I'm bout to get up in the the ride and take a ride fast

She replied yes, now we driving

And now she kissing on ya dude

But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Now your man is rolling all around the motherfucking city

While he holding on a bitty

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

While he holding in a shit

He can't control it, so he focused, but she groping on his dick

He wanna bone her, but he told her that he feeling sorta iffy

But she really wanna get it bro

Feeling on a testicle

But Lil Dicky reeling what he feeling is intestinal

Goddamn it what the fuck should I do

Cause shawty really wanna get in the mood

But Dicky been had to poop

And now she kinda confused

Been persistent but the kid been tryna resist her moves,

Doing 60 in a 20, I got reason to move

Cause I been squeezing on my buttcheeks like a prisoner do

And now I'm getting close to panicking

Stomach is unraveling

Every fucking bump has got me clutching on my abdomen

I swear this isn't happening

I'm staring at the back of the Cadillac in the passing lane

Swearing up at the traffic mayne...

Man this is harder than all madden

I'm airing out the car because I'm farting like a savage

She started fucking grabbing, on ma part to make some magic

But I'm hardly harder than some corduroys up on a rabbit

So I tell her that the plans change

Don't mean to act strange

But I gotta go, I left ma phone up in the last place

She gave me the sad face

Started typing numbers at a fast pace

Glowing black case on the dash, great

So I told her thanks babe,

But I forgot I gotta water fucking plants up at my aunts house that way

But shawty still up on your man

She caressing and undressing me and then I shit ma pants

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Now ya man is rolling all around the motherfucking city

Trying hold in that he shitted, cause he rolling with a bitty

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

But he tripping, and he twitching cause he hoping she don't sniff it

But he only got a minute till she notice that he did it

So he pull over the car and

Do it like he Tarzan

Rip all of his clothing then go into the forest

Minute later shawty came in the nude

And then I laid her on a sycamore root

Nobody knew that I pooped

Nobody know that I pooped

Fucking right, nobody knew that I pooped

Until I got back in the wip up with that chick

And she could sniff all the poop and

So then I told her that it must have been goose,

She said I think you mean geese

I said that's what I mean

Seen a dozen of them motherfuckers in the ravine

Then she said what's a ravine

I said the thing in between us and all the greenery

I mean it's a stream, don't know why I said ravine

Then she said oh I see, and then

[Outro]

New Rap lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Sup y'all

It's your boy, L-D

A.K.A. Slim Boner

This does not have shit to do with Sports Center,

But I want to dedicate this to all the Sports Center anchors out there making our nights easier

[Verse 1:]

Ay, what's really really good with it

Dicky rollin swishers, switch da role up, now the jew killin shit

Excuse me, ma attitude be, a little crude

For da few people, tryna boo, and screw and shoo me

Ma crew be sayin that I'm focused for real

And soon dude'll play dem women like he coachin brazil, I'm ill

Score with bitches bro... yain't get that punchline?

Love dimes, drum line, cherry coke and lunch time

Damn, how you spittin so ridiculous with it,

Da kid been killin

All his writtens meticulously,

Cause dicky getting sick

Of these bitches spittin chicken shit, literally

Listen to little b, piss on the industry, shit isn't pretty

But LD, whaddup, ya boy been spittin hot

Weird, but it's cool like boy when he kiss his pop

I'm here, makin noise, better get a mop

Cause I'm bout to shit all up on hip-hop

[Hook:]

So if you want it with me

You know I'm clubbin with a chubby

Prolly tuckin ma D

Cause I been really good livin

Philly D ma hood chillin

If you really good feelin

Holla back at dude killin em

L-I-L dicky flowin it up

Westside, getting high, yea we blowin it uppp now

So if you really getting sick. of this new crap...

Then listen up, cause Dicky been spittin new rap

[Verse 2:]

Das dat good shit

Read about that shit

I'm tweeting bout that shit

I'm making a believer outcho bitch

I'm freakin out dis bitch,

I'm skeeting where you eatin' outcho bitch

I cheef a mound piff, and now I'm really freakin out this bitch bro.

I'm the biggest pussy rappin all day

I'm a represent it lovin me some rent on broadway

Call it gay, but fuck it, it's really lovely

To come up in really comfy pajamas

With a mama and knowledge of commas and college

But all these other rappers think thuggin is cool

These mafuckas so redundant with the drugs in the jewels

But I ain't buggin... ma stomach getting sun by the pool

I'm with a mexicano jawn straight getting azul

Foreal tho

Real flowin, jabronis is still frontin with it

Real open spittin, ma dick is a mere couple inches

Meals made of truffle,

Ma kitchen is real troublesome

I'm real good at hugging, and snugglin,

Somewhat at fuckin and

[Hook]

Workaholics lyrics - Lil Dicky

I heard this shit on workaholics

And this for errbody bout to finish college

It's only right that I drop a little knowledge

Cause life ain't like it outta be

I thought it'd be, a lotta women callin me

And sodomy, and drinkin like it's all for free

Illogically, I never thoughta poverty

Or how this muthafucka's muthafuckin job would be

But ever since I go the cap and gown

Errybody cracking down, nappin now

Erry fuckin snack got me packin pounds

Wearin fuckin slacks, got me scratching da back uh ma sack

And rap is not exactly a faculty rapidly rackin me

Anything but apathy for those who be naggin and draggin me

Into the wackest meetings, holding me back from eating

The saddest fucking lunch I pack and bag in the evening

Ma bank is depleted, I even have to think before tweeting

Man it's really fuckin sad when thinking bout

The evolution from the past to drinking now

We used to go and split a handle, drink it down

Then hit the town, and hit the hottest chicks around

But now? I can barely slug a half a dozen tops

Used to chug a lot, now I'm fuckin buzzin off a shot whoa

Clubbin wasn't nuffin to me boy

Used to walk up in that muthafucka stuntin like whassup, I wadn't coy

Ain't nobody gave a fuck if I'm employed

Errybody drunk and fuckin lovin it, rubbin, and huggin

Mugging, chugging and fuckin but now these bitches

Is up on some other shit, wanting a husband

Clubbin got me buggin and blushing cause I'm a young'n das confronted

With a hundred abundantly rugged, and coveted, funded muthafuckas, it's humbling

Think about the age range

They get to date way older and emotionally open homies goin gray

Now I'm up on first dates

Sober like it's first grade

Hoping when it's over that I close it with some first base shit

Ma face getting fuckin fat

It's April, hateful fillin fuckin taxes out

Long ass days, getting blazed, and tappin out

Back is naggin now, mac is laggin now

Because I bought it back in college

So if you comin lemme run a little knowledge

If you was wondering if fun isn't acknowledged

Well Wednesdays, I be watching workaholics

Hit Me Up lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

D up on the track

They shook,

Race good

Cheetah on a track

Great hooks,

Facebook

We up on the map

Now the cake good from rappin

Cray up on a mac

We been getting pussy like all damn night bruh

Philly D lil dicky be up on that L dystra

Think I need a diaper... shittin when I cypher

Stay with eminems... like ya man's kai pfaifer

Whoa

Dicky ballin foreal

All these models all up on him got em callin him seal

Every song is getting bomber like a mall in isreal

And I been buzzin like I'm chugging alcohol with no meal

I got that shit, everybody know that dicky been kickin

Da sickest shit and killin criminal's spittin so

If you get wanna get me then

You know where I be at

If you didn't know about the kid then lemme recap

Baby I been all around the fuckin world

Huggin da girls

These muthafuckin bitches lovin the curls

The kid been takin his vacation days and

Makin bacon, basically takin the game and changing

It to make it relatable

Trader joes up in the fridge boi

Unprotected sex without no kids boi

Makin sure ma lady take dat pill boi

Gotta keep it real

Honesty about to get ya boi a deal, boi

Comedy in songs, fuck da kill joys

But like

[Hook:]

Man, I wish I could sing good

If I was a chick, right now this a single

But until this shit get around, then it's all ya dude

Up in his room, getting down, but it's all for you

So like

Shoot

If you know somebody that produce

Or a hottie that'll sing about her boobs

Hit me up on gmail tho yo

Cause I been tryna take dis shit to retail bro

And I don't know have any contacts

[Verse 2:]

Alrite I'm back up in this bitch

Spittin crack, up on the track

Up on the mac, up in this bitch

I been anxious to see what's actually happenin with this

Cause the rappin that's crackin em up is actually legit

You know

I'm bout to get it, better bring in the medic, I'm reppin

Literally, every regular person, get up on ma credit level

Better than your better will ever be, spittin incredibly

Ready, I'm a get on that melody with dat real shit

I'm the only rapper not exactly sure what trill is

But I'm still attacking every track and I been killin

Shit, but dude I'm scared of the hood

It's really spooky, dat ain't racist, think you misunderstood

Lil dicky bullshitting, and good livin with good writtens

So good riddance, to every rapper acting so cool with it

I school bitches, but still I'm acting a fool with it

So fuck all the tools with they stupid ass music but...

[Hook]

[Outro]

Beef lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Cause if you really talkin' shit bruh

I suggest you take a sec and recognize ma shit raw

I been texting pictures atcho sister, be ma in law

You know I been spittin' vicious, whatchu fittin' to get at ma dude

I been killin' bitches, Michael Vick in the booth

The US see me, I be kiffin to you

I gotcho bitch up on ma stick she ride it sick

Like it was quidditch but nude

And I'm the honorary Gryffindor Jew

And I don't care about ya bitch, or ya ya, ya riches or ya wips bro

Even tho you fictional, I'm guessing that you get dough

No you don't exist, but I see through you like a window

Dicky run this shit and you'sa cripple

Fuck it though, you dumber than Waka Flocka

Be sonnin you like a father

D bomber than Osama plot

And smart as Obama

Gotcho lil mama in the sauna all up

In the male locker room

She really good with the D

That's my Serge Ibaka boo, ooh

Das dat dude, spittin hot as Rihanna

You softer than llamas

Do prima donnas faster than ramadan

I'll be honest, getting commas in ma wallet

Is nada, ebonically smarter, the kike

Been flowin nice as the Dalai Lama

Whaddup bruh

I'm goin stupid cause I'm better

This the hottest shit like I was pooping in a sweater

Ain't nobody do you anymore, you a letter

You get it write? That was clever

Ho'

But look

[Hook:]

If you think you on ma level jabroni

Than let me educate you, bet you need a fellowship homie

Lil dicky rippin dat ribbon cause what he spittin' is winning

So if you finna be some chicken for dinner

Then hollaback up at the kid boy

I'm spittin' good up in this bitch ho

So if you wanna get at me, you better get a Mento, ahhh

That's word to ads from the past

Ya ass up in a jam if you come at the man

Then yon't stand a chance

[Verse 2:]

Das retard flow

I been talkin game on campuses I'm Lee Corso

Battle me, he'll be like, "Dude I ran." see Argo

Package all up in this dude caboose... free cargo

Fuck it. I'm really talkin that shit

I'm coming at a muthafucka that don't even exist

But if we under the assumption that he

Someone dat spit it redundant to someone incumbent

Then he dumber than bricks ya dig?

Listen to these bitches making hits and

You'll see the horrendousness dat be existing

Every minute some kid is diminishing a single

Written like a semi-retarded kid in kindergarten

Except he harder than me, so poor Lil Dicky is stuck

Watching stupid muthafuckers

Make music and caking foolish

While jewish muthafuckas rate movies

Okay cupid to do a lil fuckin

But if it's bout the rap, they on't want it

That's why I tell em look

[Hook]

[Outro]

The '90s lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Man I wish I was a kid

Thinking bout the third grade

Back in '96 in my Michael Jordan jersey

French fries curly, cool with it, raising Tamagachis

Dick 3 and a half, the same as a floppy

Nerf guns loaded and we shootin at y'all motherfuckers

We ain't getting hoes, but we getting soda

And we was fucking with the swag of The Fresh Prince

Ain't nothing like when you had mad tokens left

In that arcade balling

Watching tickets falling

Pegging stupid bitches in the motherfucking ball pit

Landline calling

Chilling at the mall

And if this the type of shit that you recall well then

[Hook:]

Let me hear you shout

If you grew up in the 90's

Then you know what I'm about

Don't you wish we could rewind it

I wish we could, man I really miss it

Cause we having fun all day

Slept all night

Best ten years of our whole damn lives

Blowing on a cartridge, a lot of fucking farting

I would give it all up, if I could restart it

[Verse 2:]

Sitting on the school bus

Flipping through some Goosebumps

A minute 'til I'm shitting out the school lunch

Wanna know what cool was?

Starter jackets, Jock jams, and Pop Rocks

Sega in my room, baby boom shaka laka

Lot of slammers in my pocket, flippin them pogs

And I knew every modem noise in ma aol login

On that Oregon Trail

With Keenan & Kell

I was jerkin off daily, TRL

But that Saved by the Bell

Was on some fuckin hot shit

OJ to jail, oh wait that glove did not fit

Short shorts Stockton

Beanie Baby profits

And NBA on NBC if you remember watching

[Hook]

[Verse 3:]

Remember getting greeted with Scholastic mags

I hated it reading but it made me need that shit so bad

And we was spinning that bottle, de-prude hoes

Winning full throttle, Nintendo

Switch the flow up, getting donuts

Fruit roll ups, wishing we could be a grown up

Being so dumb, fucking with the kid, call me Lil Dicky Griffey

And my koosh balls big, man I think I had 50

Love those mentos ads

There were ten boy bands

I had ten ring pops on my hands

Plus I love that Nick at Nite nighttime

Kicks had lights

Shine brighter than some tights when they was tag team fighting

Shout out to Topanga

Fuck you know about Jenga?

Best head ever from a Pez dispenser

[Hook]

[Outro]

The Basement lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Wasup ya'll? let me preface this by saying this is not a Mac Miller diss by any means

I actually like mac miller butt, but right now he probably is the most popular rapper excluding Eminem

And I'm just not even close so you can understand why I would rap over one of his beats

I got a little bit of Kobe in me and if Kobe saw Lebron he would wanna rap over one of his beats

Metaphorically speaking, I know he ain't Lebron, butt, but you get what the fuck I'm saying

Maybe he's more of a Jo Johnson type of shit, no disrespect

Fuck... this undergrad bitch tryn fuck

And her chest deserves an A, like she handle da puck

She know D been bumpin Drake like ya man a Canuk

Homie even if it's May in LA... I'm so fuckin cold

Roll good on that Westside

Hoes cook like they country thick

So hood up in Best Buy

Controller, D punkin kids

Loading up the used dishes

Rollin up with two bitches

Hope they old enough

To get folded up, I'm not bold enough to do prison

I been drinkin sippin something so horrific, ya dig it

Because I tipped the bartender extra, then he put extra liquor

In dat shit. Goddamn. Das a misinterpretation

Hate it when they stiff. Overtipping cause I'm caking

Take in errything a mafucka say

Been about rap, figured out that from the basement

I ain't talkin bout rap city on black entertainment

Talkin bout the place I was raised in

Plate full uh bacon

Making a bagel and bake on occasion

Back then woulda made rap for grades

Now a mafucka make rap for pay

And them bitches too

Chickens that I'm bangin so appealing

They been Shagging on ma balls, like they practicing they fielding and

I Sorta make em pop off

Make em take they socks off

Round the fuckin bases then get pounded like a walk off

Aw naw...

This a fucking statement I'm making

They been hesitating to give lil David space at the table

Cause they label a capable able jew gay and too playful

Watching cable naked, the AC blowin major like slater's dad

Why you hater's mad?

Maybe I should get a couple tats

Maybe I should get in trouble and be dumbin down the rap

Look at Mac

White as fuck but lookin thugger than a trap spot

Need another mac 'stead of luggin round this laptop

Blackballed

From the muthafuckin rap blogs

Cause I rap odd, never talkin bout a fuckin black card

Ion't gotta play da black card, cause I rap hard

Ion't think it mean I gotta act hard

Fuck it tho

Despite dat LD straight fucking hoes

Ma chickens stay hot, no buffalo

Ma hand been up in her bod, no muppet ho

Whatcha know bout a mafuckin kid up with a job

Coulda fit in with the mob, had a kid and a garage

But I didn't now I'm spittin like a mothafuckin slob

Doin shit up in garageband, better than the gods of the game do

Ya'll better know ma name soon

I ain't no clown, when you laughin out loud

Don't forget you getting down to a great tune

Make room

I'm coming for you muthafuckin rappers spittin dogshit

Yeah I'm fuckin funny, but this muthafuckin dog spit

Aw shit... I could write a TV show tomorrow

But before I get dat Emmy I'm a make you bitches sorry that I'm gone

[Outro - Lil Dicky:]

Yeah, and once again no disrespect to Mac, Mac I actually follow you on Vine, I'm fucking with you, it looks like your having a pretty ridiculous amount of fun,

Sometimes your at a pool, sometimes your smoking weed and rapping

Would love to be a part of it, if vine is any indicator your life is awesome

Okay I got to go to work, cya

Back In Business lyrics - Lil Dicky

Yeah fuck you think you dealin' with

Every time ya hear da the kid you know he bout to kill dis shit

Every rhyme is sicker than an ugly bitches period

You know the Jew is building something I ain't talking pyramids

Them bitches with titties they wanna get up at the kid

They instant messaging Dicky, they wanna get up on his dick

But I ain't ready to hit it, because I'm relatively timid in the bed I admit it

But fuck that gay shit we should fuck soon

Baby whatchu wann do

Tell me when to come through

Take you out to ritas then I'll skeet up where dat tongue blue

D could tweet a freak till I'm peekin' up at a cheek and that physique'll

Have me jackin' ma D if I don't agree to meet at her at her fucking condo

Eat it like a combo

Need it in the mourning or I'm heated like Alonzo

You know that the geek about mack up an actress

Imagining McAdams all on ma mattress

Attackin' ma sack and attractively crackin', ejaccin', we nappin'

The fuck you think you doin'

I'm rappin' some crack and I'm lackin' the practice cause the Jew

Dat's been smackin' the track up and snappin' has actually been doin'

This shit, renewing the spit, for one year

Fuck it tho

Think you better read about ma fuckin' flow

I'm smoking weed with clueless bitches cheatin' playin' suck and blow

Eatin' on some buffalo chicken fingers on a boat

Went from being honor roll to spreadin' like he on a roll

Haha... Whoa

Okay now I'm on a roll

Scoring got em screaming commentators speaking on a goal

Tourin' writing TV, getting greedy but I'm honorable

I swear dat Dicky isn't that conceited but I think it's time to

Roll another spliff, and we blowin' that

Salt and vinegar up in the whip, yea I'm holdin' that

Bitches droppin' back up in shotgun like they was Flacco or Rodgers

I'm doin 60 so I tell em to stoppit, I need to concentrate

The hoes know DI, been goin' MIA

I'm in the four door Fiat, with poquilla

Bitches das been showin' me interest

Seen up on Pinterest

Don't know how it happened but Lil Dicky back in business