mixtape: So Hard (2013)

• Ham
• Ex-Boyfriend
• Jewish Flow
• White Dude
• All K
• Staying In
• The Cypher
• Attached At The Hip
• Famous Dude
• How Can I Become A Bawlaa
• Sky Hooks
• Beatin' On Ma
• Sports
• Too High
• Club Night
• Grimy As A Gooch
• Bars 

Ham lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro: Lil Dicky]

Whoa... so hard

Jews is never supposed to go ham, but fuck it

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Okay dat boy D I C K Y ballin

I been spitting hella writtens cause I'm fittna get ma wallet good

Bitches know I holla good

Graduated college with a bag of fucking honors but instead of making dollars

I been acting like a kiddd

Rapping bout ma fucking dickkk

And what started as a joke became the hottest fucking shit

Killin bitches Michael Vickin women, you know what dis is

Semi colons in ma texts ma instant message game is sick ho

Fuck that shit, when I rub that bitch

When I be up in the club I gotta tuck that dick

When I bring a chicken back, and then I fuck that bitch

I'm a cum quick, I ain't playin witcha

Ay you kno, I'm spittin crack up on the track,

I'm not attacking all you blacks

Who try to rap, but I'm just sayin that

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

I'm coming for these muthafuckin brothas makin money

Errybody love the funny little buddy makin jams now

Ladies get dem pants down

Sorry to my God and my synoguge and my mom because this kike is goin ham now

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

I ain't on that kosher shit

Facebook I be poking chicks

Came up in the 90's yeah I'm on some hocus pocus shit

Ion't push a lotus, I'm drivin a fuckin focus

But notice that I got the coldest and dopest designer sodas

I'm an izze sippin, biddie kissin muthafuckin G

The way cum on chickens, call lil dicky mozzarella cheese

I'm getting pussy, getting bread, I get a lot of fucking yeast

And I been dustin diamonds off they bout to call lil dicky screech whoa

Tampon shit

Cause I rap for da flow

And I get a lotta bitches when I mac like a pro

Gotta mac, it's a pro

Never nap, but I doze

I'm a little bit of black, like I shat in the snow

And I know ya'll bitches feelin that

Ain't as nobody real as that I'm

Rapping like Jamaica's population I been killin trackssss

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

See dem bitches over there?

Please don't fucking over stare

Das who I be stroking, young and smoking like they over DARE

Okay I was joking, I don't know dem I should grow a pair

But I am not the most efficient closer when I'm sober scared

So I'm drinkin, fuck you thinkin

Middle day das word to lincoln

Ma left foot is always stinkin

I ball good so I ain't blinkin

Maybe whatcha know about a muthafuckin dog

Fuckin cats up the ass metaphorically... pause.

[Hook]

Ex-Boyfriend lyrics - Lil Dicky

Ey what's going on man?

It's your boy Lil Dicky

A.K.A Mr. Left-Ward-Sloping-Penis

I got a story for y'all man

Peep this

Yes sir

Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell

And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it don't smell

And I don't fall for chickens

But this one a little different

Body sickening,

Plus she really good at making breaded chicken

Got me thinking she the one man

Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man

Get a lotta hoes, but none of those come close

I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposed

Oh yeah there's one more thing

And I know this shit gonna sound insane

But I still haven't hit it

I admit it, I wish I was kidding

Never been up inside before

Because shes only fucked one guy before

And though I really wanna boink this whore

She ma sweetie 3.14

So I'm staying patient, and masturbating,

And now ma heart is sorta racing

Cause she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating

Hell yeah, I'm down, I'm bout to go all out

I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake

But on the way to crib, we pass this kid,

And he seem to know who Katie is

So I say "who this" and she say

Dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim"

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type

But as I'm looking at this dude I can't believe my eyes

Cause he's the best looking guy that I've seen in my whole life

He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod

Man this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian God

And now I'm looking at ma chick, cause his dick's been inside her raw

Awww damn

Man this is crazy

I can't believe this guy used to fuck ma lady

I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti

Katie's hugging and squeezing his shoulder blades

And I'm bugging and queasy, this ain't okay

And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say okay

Even though I was about to get laid!

Man this motherfucker look like Ashton

Combined with a little Hugh Jackman

In other words, he's so damn attractive

So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him

Now I'm in the back with him, sipping on some 'gnac with him

And he paying for it all, he investment banking...

I'm acting, like I ain't distracted

But I'm reenacting him and Katie banging

And now I'm feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss

Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is

And I had to see, and I was mad discrete

And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek

Oh my God Becky, look at that cock

And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type

But as I'm looking at his dick, I can't believe my eyes

Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life

And now I'm staring at this dude's soft dick with a lotta hate

Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate

And I don't know if I can date ma girl after tonight

Aw damn

I don't know what to do

Dude's dick is really huge

I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth

I know she's mission that

My penis isn't that

I'm looking closer I think that his dick has abs

Six pack on a dick

Now what the fuck is that

It's so long and thick

It's like a punching bag

I'm saying it's so shaven, head is amazing

Got ma dick looking like a raisin

Skin tone insane, man he's hung like Saddam Hussein, it's crazy

What the fuck should I do?

He gotta Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive through...

I think it's time to

Tell Katie ma goodbyes

Cause I simply can't survive

After seeing what was in between his thighs

So I tell her

That this dude's gotta dick that I don't comprehend

I had to move ma neck to see it end to end

I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense

And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end

Because the sex with him must have been the best

And I would say let's just be friends

But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye

Then she told me Dicky I don't really know what to say

Because I dated this dude in the second grade

So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laid

And then I took her to ma crib, and you know that we barely slept

And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came

I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh

And upper mid-section region

You can call that the pelvis

Some would even call that the pubic bone

Leave the pubes at home

Making this up on the spot

Fuck you know about it

I'm about to go paper-mache my own dick and ride it

Jewish Flow lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro: Lil Dicky]

Yeah... sounds kinda beautiful don't it?

Fair warning, I'm about to shit on it

Let's go, let's go, let's go

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Okay now you already know that Dicky been about that flow all day

I used to beg to get blow J's, I'm over head now, stowaway

My team about that money tho, we scrappin fo that dummy dough

Don't act like das yo money ho, das nacho cheese das doritos

And I spit that hot shit all day long, gotta room full a hot chicks, no Krayshawn

And you know they blonde, got em in suede thongs

And they ass meat lookin like filet mignon

You can find me, back a da club I'm wylin

Shots in a mafuckan mug, I'm buyin

No I ain't a mafuckan thug, but I will cut a rug in this mafucka

Carpet violence

In the crib with dat AC on

No fib, ya girl up in a lacy thong

Cause the kid been known to make a racy song

Dicky got it goin on like I'm Stacy's mom

I'm higher than I ever been, flyer than a pelican

No lie see mo vagina than a common OBGYN

I'm ballin whatchu know bout that

In a purple charlotte throwback hat

And I merc these tracks when I heard this rap

Got me actin like I'm erkel, did I do that

Hell yeah I did, you know I do it

And the way they fallin for me like I'm boys with cupid

In a truck with a slut with a butt, get a nut,

Call that bitch bill buckner the way she blew it

I'm high off weed and oxycodon

I'm a caffeine fiend takin shots a soda

Wish I was big pimpin on a yacht with Hova

But I'm happy that ma girl lemme motorboat her

I make this shit look easy dude

I spit dat sick dat sneeze achu

And who knew that baddest was a

Nappy headed greasy Jew?

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Dicky spit that Jewish flow

Lil Dicky spit that Jewish flow

Sicker than the holocaust

Dat muthafuckin jewish flow

That third reich raw

Concentration camp cold

Now we rollin in that mothafuckin dough

Das dat Jewish flow

Dicky spit that Jewish flow

Lil Dicky spit that Jewish flow

Sicker than the holocaust

Dat muthafuckin jewish flow

That Auschwitz sick, gas chamber kinda shit

Now I got german bitches all up on ma dick

Das dat jewish flow

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Blowin up, you know that's DI

Flowin since ya boy was knee high

Now I'm grown up and ya'll buggin cause I'm buzzin like a beehive

Shout out to my city, Philly, big ups to PA

I went to college in VA but now I'm chillin by the bay

And I got ma shit on lock, cause I ball like a jock

They attached to my balls, like a small little cock

No bullshit, dicky do it big no doubt

And ya girl in the whirpool, wet no draught

And she get so loud, I be like slow down

Lemme relish this shit girl, no kraut

And then I beat that like it was a title bout

And then I plant my seed that ho got plowed

Ew you so nasty, lil dicky you so nasty

I got green knees, why you keep yo crib so grassy?

I do it how I do it baby swag out the ass

And I'm shittin on you dick heads like a drag the asshooole

Don't cha know my girls DTF

And they pretty damn fine das PDF

I'm a open that, I'm a cum press that

I got Adobe Acrobat

Ma homies say that pussy takes a toll on dudes

But my EZ pass dick just slides right through ooo

[Hook]

[Verse 3:]

You know that dicky bout to bubble up

Fresha than a mothafuck

I gotta gang a bitches, whatchu know about a cluster fuck

The back of the crack of that ass is poking outcha pants

I'm a crack from the back and ejaculate all on that ass

N'amsayin I'm cool ass mafucka try to see me

If you want ma life, better find a genie

In the club tryna choose, but I'm bein greedy

So you know I pick six like a deion TD

Cause I got that swag that y'all don't have

Is that yo girl, das ma bad

The sickest shit out two lips, heavy flow, I spit vagina flaps

[Hook]

White Dude lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

And y'ain't even want it with da boy

Cause the way I'm livin life, is a muthafuckin joy

On some grown man B.I.

I could have been a girl

Or any ethnicity up in the world

But I'm rollin with the top back

I ain't gotta worry where the cops at

I ain't gotta wear a fucking bra strap

Me and the crew

Are really doing everything that we like to

Man it's a damn good day to be a white dude

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Shit, I'm living good up in this bitch

Dicky rollin round the city, blowin good up in that wip

I ain't black or Dominican, not Hispanic or Indian

So imprisonment is not a predicament, I envision

For a white boy

Hollatcha muthafuckin kike, boy

Higher than a muthafuckin kite, it's iight boi

They ain't suspicious of jews

I'll show contrition it's cool

Slap on the wrist, get ma daddy to choose

One of them top lawyers dat be rollin round in his crew

I'm eating chop soy and bowlin on a carnival cruise

Das what I do kid

Happy that my name ain't stupid

Dave coulda been Daquan with a few kids

But now I'm farting, overeating at meals,

If ain't I gotta theme party, Ion't be at goodwill

I'm dentist paying, tennis playing, smellin on some cabernet

And I ain't gay but if I was, everything would be okay, look...

I know I'm being condescending in ma rhymes

But ma premium channels mean tyler perry's never live

Getting tickets, they sick, I sit at the eagle 45

Where I'm eating when I'm high's where they eat at to survive (food chainssss)

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Yeah. It's little DI in this bitch ho

Happy that I'm white, but relieved I ain't a chick yo

I never wake up and have to cake on ma make up

Or straighten hair, I ain't given a damn

I'm wearing whatever I wanna in this muthafucka

They up in heels

And tummy tuckin, theyon't grub except for takin them pills, foreal...

And ion't bleach shit

Ion't gotta eat dick

I ain't bleeding up out ma penis

Smoking the weed, ion't fall asleep because I'm cheefing

In disagreements, I participate without weeping

And when I'm freaking, I'm getting daps, high fives, and all that

Ma rep goin up, and at best, ho a slut

So what up

Ya boy cut up

But eat butter

And I ain't gotta speak to ma mother... to still love her

And I been getting better looking with age

But a guy can get who he deserves with a horrible face

Seal interlude

I go on dates, and never have to worry bout getting raped

And I watch a game and never have to worry bout how it's played

And I meet a babe and never have to act deliriously fake

And if impregnate I can pack a back and be on my way, but good luck girl!

[Hook]

[Outro: Lil Dicky]

Yeah... I'm happy as fuck man

First off I'm a dude so

There was a one in two chance of that sucking

But now I can run a seven minute mile

I can defend my self adequately

I can be logical

I can get along with my room-mates

Watch serious movies without being scared by them

And the on top of that I'm white

Which is like, amazing because

Everybody naturally assumes I'm a great person

I get a fair shot at the life I deserve

I mean I could underachieve my way into any college in the country

I get my hair cut at a salon

People hold the door open for me which is nice

Er, I never have to get into a fight, like, for social purposes

And please don't take this as me just disparaging black people

It ain't about that

It's about me being happy that I'm white, know what I'm saying?

But on that note, could someone explain to me why Fat Joe, and any other person of Hispanic descent, is allowed to say the N-word

I mean I guess it's unrelated but like that shit don't make any sense

I've been thinking about that shit a lot

Because like if I could say the N-word, it would really help my rhyme scheme out

It's like the perfect filler word

All K lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro: Lil Dicky]

Yeah

Eh this gon' be the shit that when motherfuckers hear it

They gon' be like 'Damn, that dude can rap'

Know what I'm saying?

Like, like, like, like

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Look, I'm the man bro

Iont really care what the fuck you think

Steak look rare but I grub dat pink

And the grundle stink

And I bump N-sync

Don't suck dick, but I blow dat good

Don't want shit but a ho that would

Lemme hold dat, bend and fold that

Get a Kodak, cowboy, Jerry Jones dat, lemme own that

Word... fuck that girl

Jew got hair, never cut them curls

Truth or dare with a cute au paire

Get a room to share, hit a boom, Pat Burrell

Spit dat turd, das dat shit

Gotcha girl up on ma dick

I'm bout to sperm up on dem hips

Don't wanna murder us a kid

Oh shit... whatchu say

Don'tchu do this erry day?

Don'tchu usually go with double meat when you eat chipotle

Don't your crew lack someone black, but you want one to hang no slave

And I heard your boo got so much back like she bangin' that Notre Dame clock

Faded tho.

Fuckin bitches you'd label undateable

Missing birthdays, hay belated brah

Naked out in san fran on that rooftop

I got tan cans, no tube top

Cause I'm the mafuckan man goddamn,

And these mafuckas bitches full a shit like zoo mops so

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Look, you can do it, you can say it

I been through it, you can play it

Yea I'm jewish, so I'm praying das yo boo cause I'm a take her.

Dinner at the crib, feedin kobe like a laker

You know what it is, I'm a mafuckan K-I-K-E

You don't play wanna play D

Goin down low on ya dame

Getcha mafuckin weight up

You can find a cracker getting paid like a sedar

All day

Word up

All K

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Whoa, afikoman in a flow, das a pro

Whatchu know bout dicky creamin up in hoes

No ho ho

Whatchu know about a balla

Born and raised on the kaballah

Tryna make a dollar, until I'm cakin and stackin challa

I'm hollerin atcha daughter like when the fuck you tryna get it

Dat vagina fitted custom for humpin dis little dicky

Puffin' sticky while she bangin' on my wood

Superstitious, pussy good

Cooter vicious, within a minute I finished

But I ain't trippin off no quick nut

And no pain in the butt, ma shit's tough

And ma dick's sucked, and yo dick sucks

But real talk I could never give an inch up

We tippin cups in the strip club, no flip cup

With a fit butt rubbin on my Nike zip up

No whisenhunt, but them bad bitches get cut

Gotta get up so the dick tucked

What the fuck you doin

This that heavy fuckin flow

Word to pads

Wearing out a lotta boxes on the road

Word to plaid

And I gotta have my pops no cereal

Das word to dad

Watching Breaking Bad, fucking with' Hank and sippin tab boi.

[Hook]

[Outro: Lil Dicky]

Yeah, I'm saying

If they can say the N word

I sure as fuck can say Kike

Do something about it, pussy

Staying In lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Another Friday afternoon

Dicky chillin in his room

Got a teddy on the bed, you bet he playing little spoon

Pimpin I ain't fittna move shit

Bitches getting stupid

But I ain't getting hammered less you handing me a tool kit

And yea I know the cool kids are drinkin at the bar

But I just ate a chicken parm

And then got faded in ma car

And there's tomato on ma navel, as I'm layin in ma arms

Debating if it's safe to wait because bathrooms kinda far

Goddamn.

I don't wanna go nowhere

Why the fuck these bitches call ma cell

Ion't really care what the fuck they do

I just wanna lay in bed and jerk off ma self

Sun is going down, I bet the club been going down

But I don't wanna fuck with nuffin less it's something in the house

And now I'm naked on the couch

With raisenets in ma mouth

I'm playin a stupid asian in NBA 2k12

And I'm beatin that ass with the Utah jazz,

Youjizz on the tablet, loading multiple tabs

As I pack bowls, mac pro, chattin with a black ho

Dat want a redskin sack, call dat bitch orakpo

Crack flow, fuckin with a lotta fuckin snacks bro

Cookies in the oven, whatcha know bout how I stack dough

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

And I ain't got no mafuckan plans ya diggg

It's Friday night and I'm stayin in

Don't wanna drink, man you couldn't even pay the kid

Who knew that layin in the crib would make a hit

So put ya hands in the air if you stayin innnn

If you don't even care what day it is

Ya had a long week, roll weed, take a hit,

Go on Demand, take a gander and play some shittt

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Okay ma cell is getting bombed yo

Bitches want a don

To come meet em greet em leave with em, freak em at they condo

Ma penis like Chicago

D Rose pronto

But I won't be scorin less it's fifa with ronaldo

Cause I ain't comin out, I'm getting freaky, Michael Jackson

Keepin up with the kardashians

As I'm eatin easy mac and

As I'm peein I'm seein penis with pieces of a napkin

Need to clean it, I'm creamin without a boo, dis ain't Aladdin

Achu, das what the rest ya'll do erry time ya'll spit some sicknin shit

The fridge gotta lil bit left in it so now I'm raiden sub zero to finish him

Damn... how you do dat there, you kickin it like Liu Kang here

Ma pubic hair super bare whatcha know about a jew with nare

And iont think I wanna brag, but stayin inside the pad

Was basically the greatest day that I've had

Holla back if you don't really wanna pregame, and wait for cabs

Would rather eat a fuckin cheese cake, and take a nap

I'm double bundled up under covers I'm comfy den a mafucka

Bumpin to something usher, while grubbing on some fuddruckers

Say I ain't the man ho

Playin on demand shows

You can get retarded, but lil dicky think he stayin home

[Hook]

The Cypher lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro: Lil Dicky]

See back in highschool

I ain't even know I could rap

So the hits late, but nobody throwin the flag

Goin fifth grade with it, Dicky opening snacks

Because the kid made different like a joke in Iraq

Now check it

[Verse: Lil Dicky]

Never thought I wanna pass the bar

But I gotta get fancy car

So I got up on the beat, beat on it like

Evander sparring partner, smarter art

When I master bars

These weak bitches gotta leave, dicky dissin' em all

To listen to y'all is sorta like a flick in the balls

Foreal tho

Cause they don't spit it real as D do

The kid come first, like his dick a prequel, so look

If you really wanna get it, forget it, genetically better

Then every pathetic competitor nettin cheddar

Get in bed I'll get you wetter than Redick

I bet I bend her, get her beggin, etcetera

Breath, now ya man on reddit cause I'm rappin the flames

I'm hands on, wayne chrebet, when I'm mackin the dames tho

The lame bros, better learn to make a single

Or ya mayn bout to have these rappers playin some bingoooo... yeah

So whatchu talkin bout

If this really stupid tell me what the fuck is walk it out

If lil dicky ruin rap, they poopin on it's coffin now

So if you heard of a jewish rapper you know who they talkin bout

Ion't think I need a grammy bro

I got two, and they fairly old

The family, demanding, ya man be

A little wary tho

They know dude got a scary flow

Just like you do, yea

Except they mean it different

Prefer ma chicken white das for chicken and da women

Confessing that I'm hittin only cause I'm nice at spittin

But used to getting used, you dudes Aaliyah's kitchen

Hold up, the kid so dumb

The drink po up, he can't grow up

Ya man gotta thang for donuts

The flow nuts, bout to make a jam, I go Russ

From Okla - getting more bread than cold cuts, whaddup bruh?

That's why these hoes wanna get it

They been fuckin with the kid, joe paterno assistant

I'm stern with the women

I'm a a nerd but I'm hittin

On these curves like it's griffey in the third with these pitches

Iight, the kids aiight, legit polite

I wife, nice jews, pipe smoove, cider with ice cubes

The white dude's known to be recording it right

You jabronies write a stupid chorus lighter than cubes

Commercials

Y'all worse than them

But these lucky bitches, they ain't gotta work again

All these chickens in the crib's like a birthed a hen

So I be over-cumming definition circumvent, ya dig?

Cold spittin, admit it, I'm rippin shit up, like a ticket stub

And givin a clinic, these bitches isn't sick enough to get up in it tho

You should probly quit it bro

Dude's spittin ridiculous with it, particularly when he

Be switchin the flowwwww up.

Das cash and all

More black in me than basketball

Next line, LD's talkin vaginal

The kid been hittin more walls than a raquet balllll, yeaah!

So prepare for my libido

It's really fuckin scary, action Bronson in a speedo

It's really fuckin scary magic Johnson near mosquitos

But I'm nearly fuckin there, these bitches bout to feed me Cheetos

Cause Ion't really like the mess

Pretty clear right here that the kike the best (that's my n word so chill)

Never scared, nor embarrassed, ask ma ex

I gotta bone like a freak, Kevin Ware the sex... whoa.

Y'all heard about the kid with the jew flow

And jew fro, getting mo sugar than glucose

The dude so cold youda so swore he from pluto

Ma head so big, it's like I'm juicing with pujols

But look if you thinkin that this jew so nice

Then you so right, you rappers lookin' Bruno's type

The dude's so bright, I'm rapping like a sumo fight

The knee slappin' unexpected, word to Juno's tike, I'm out.

Attached At The Hip lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

I gotta problem with ma dick.

Been hatin on him since I was a kid

Way before I ever put him in a bitch

Goin back y'all

Never wanna trash talk

So I made a track we could rap on

Keep us intact

And I know the fact is that you jewish

But I don't want no excuses for ya size

I know hella jewish guys who grew up between them thighs but no

You actin like you was four

You haven't changed since we young

It's sad you that immature

And I don't get it, I'm getting bitches, get you in kittens other dicks would die for

But I'm barely hittin it, when a minutes ya high score

And now it's real bad

Cause you ain't movin on

You twenty something and still live above ya two balls

I been getting nine to five's, but I been keepin us with bitches that was tryn to ride

But you a mafuckin fiend, and it's mean, we supposed to be a team

You a dick, but I wish I had a penis

[Hook 1: Lil Dicky]

And this about a dick

Who never took the time to grow

And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole

And I ain't lovin butting heads like this

But you gotta stop fucking up ma shit

And I ain't feelin bad

And ion't give a fuck aboutcha problems

But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve em

Cause you and I, we attached at the hip

So we better get this settled up and fixed, right now dick

[Verse 2: Dick]

Hold up Dicky you ain't really mean it

You got the nerve to tell me you the one mistreated

I don't believe it, it's nuffin but egregious

Cause I'm the one that's been getting beaten

Obscenely in this mafucka right now

Das a fact, and ma homies from ma sack'll have ma back

You wackin me every mothafuckin day

You acting like it's okay

But imagine waking up feelin' afraid

I'm prayin you stop abusing, but you confused

If you blame me for the ejacs

This about your brain I came because I react

Hope that you concede that

Cause it's on you, need to distract

What can I do, if you never relax

You see it's actually you that's in control all our faculties

The pre-ejaculatory crap is a sorely inaccurate

Acting like you was deploring me

Warranted insecurity

Scoring, ignoring the forming

Of your own immaturity (not true)

And now the prematurity's on ma head

But you know damn well it should be up on yours instead

But if you loved and accepted me then that wouldn't be a problem

Instead I'm in a dick numbing condom

[Hook 2: Dick]

And this about a kid

Who never took the time to grow

And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole

And I ain't lovin butting heads like this

But you gotta stop fucking up ma shit

And I ain't feelin bad

And ion't give a fuck aboutcha problems

But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve em

Cause you and I we attached at the hip

So we better get this settled up and fixed, right now kid

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

[Dicky:]

Wow, I think you need to get a grip dude

[Dick:]

I'd say the same, but I'm betting that you will soon

[Dicky:]

Real funny dick, I can't even stomach this

How you gonn act like I'm wacking ya shit for nuffin

He frontin up in this mothafucka, bluffin on the beat

Wouldn't beat him without a reason he sung it incomplete

[Dick:]

Tell me why then.

[Dicky:]

Why you always tucked in ma jeans

It's cause I'm with a woodpecker like I'm stuck in a tree

[Dick:]

Well I confess I'm erect on occasion

But up in the Bahamas -

[Dicky:]

Hold up we that was a vacation

[Dick:]

Is that what you call it, as I recall

You was mauling me day and night

Only sex you got was dry, aggressively rubbing fly

I was chaffed up. You the fuckin problem dicky wake up

[Dicky:]

Well what about the time you wasn't stayin up?

I was with a top 5 dime of ma life

[Dick:]

Well you the guy that was drinkin all the goddamn wine

Fuck that, you a cold, crooked mafucka, where's your heart

[Dicky:]

And you a toad looking muthafucka, Mario Kart

[Dick:]

So this is it?

[Dicky:]

This is it, you a dick I need a penis

[Dick:]

No you a dick, I need a human being

[Hook 3: Lil Dicky]

So this shit about a kid (dick)

Who never took the time to grow

And cum the second that he get in that vagina hole

And I ain't lovin butting heads like this

But you gotta stop fuckin up ma shit

And I ain't feelin bad

And ion't give a fuck aboutcha problems

But lay 'em the table, maybe we can solve em

Cause you and I we attached at the hip

So we better get this settled up and fixed, right now dick

Famous Dude lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

It's like, these days dicky been up on his grind

Tryna spit a rhyme

Fly enough to get cracker signed

It's aight tho

I been typing all damn night bro

Kikes gotta write raps right, no typo

Nice flow

Best up in the game, no Michael

I guess I gotta wait for the fame, no lipo

But damn, if ya man had a hoard of fanbase

I'd have a lot to cover like a corpulent klan face

Go on some man dates

With D'Caprio and Drake

And make a man cave full of chronic and pancakes

A handshake's all I'm really wantin from LeBron tho

Iono

Think I'd rather get up with his mom

And do it delonte, couple bottles of Andre

In pompei, getting dirtier than some laundry

I'm freakin that ho, just for Cleveland man

But first thing I'm a need some fans

[Hook: Lil Dicky]

Cause little dicky tryna make that cake, like a balla do

And denigrate little wayne up at a bar-b-q

And I just wanna hit the floor with pauly D

And cross swords up with Tommy Lee

So where the muhfuckers drinkin the ciroc at

Where the fuck the rock at

Where the bad bitches on this mediocre cock atttt

I'm tryna make the move

From gay, lame, dateless jew to famous dude, ya dig?

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

First grade and I was thirsty

I was wantin fame up in the muthafuckin worst way

Word play, gotta get ya ya boy up on some first take

Skip Bay, Steve A, get up in they ass ya dig

If I'm celebbin then I'm getting with mccadams's

The hottest women on the muthafuckin planet kid

I'm tryna get up at Selena

Mess around with mila

I remember when it was Christina

Genie up in a bottle, but now she couldn't fit up on a waterbed

I wanna score a ten imagine Natalie portman

And if she borin then, ill get a ride in ma DeLorean

And go before it, securing the whore I been adoring since

I was a teen, ya mean

Brittany spears, whacha doin

Couple years, dat career and dat metabolism ruined

Yain't know about me yet

But the future do

On youtube, I been getting some views

[Hook]

[Verse 3: Lil Dicky]

Ay, enough about a boo, ion't need a bitch

But I need a clique

Full a people Derek jeterish

Love the bieber kid

That's a hell of a dude

Well I ain't met him but his documentary was the truth

I'd holla back at snoop, drop a couple tracks in the booth

He'd prolly have me high enough to take a nap as I poop

I'm callin kobe Bryant up because I'm fucking with his game

But it's such a shame, I can tell that muthafucka lame tho

Flame flow

Ain't nobody even know ma name tho

And all I wanna do is know if channing's really gay tho

All I wanna do is play Durant up in some Halo

Play shows, date hoes, where the fuck diddy at

Where lil dicky gonn spit at

And where the crib at

And where da rose gold shit at

I'm tryna get dat

I wish dat I was sitting courtside for games

And lickin on Kate Upton's titties

[Hook]

How Can I Become A Bawlaa lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Chorus:]

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit (wish dat was me)

Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch (this dude a g!)

Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free (what the fuck that mean?)

Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free

That's a fucking bawlaa

How can I become a bawlaa?

[Verse 1:]

Mirror mirror on the wall

How can dicky learn to ball

I wish I was TIP and I could spit some shit with southern drawls

I wish I could flip a brick and spit dat shit like Ricky Ross

Holla at broads, at the mall

Spit about a mafuckan bitch up in da wip

And getting lit up in the backseat

Talkin shit about a dinner with an athlete

Fuck that, can't rap like the rest of these mafuckas

Without all ma writtens being fact free

Do y'all know how bad I wish I could

But y'all would laugh if I spit hood

So now ya man is making jams about some random

Shit, when dudes is rappin bout they fuckin weaponry

Homicidal tendencies

The only dough that I can boast about is seeded sesame

I'm jealous B.

Cause errbody in the game get to say they kill

Errbody in the game get to say steal

Errbody in the game sayin words like trill

Really wish that I could make that hit

Fake that shit

Without coming off all gay n shit

Cause if I coulda rapped like wayne

Then I'd prolly be sayin a lot of the crazy shit like

I'm a kill you pussy ass bitches with the chopper

Now make that pussy pop off... and this shit would sound proper

[Chorus:]

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit (wish dat was me)

Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch (this dude a g!)

Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free (what the fuck that mean?)

Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free

That's a fucking bawlaa

How can I become a bawlaa?

[Verse 2:]

Here we go

Here's a flow

Bout some shit I really know

I'm a spit it raw and swag it up as if I'm really cold

Ma cheerios is honey nut

Gear at most a hunned bucks

PS I Love You is on the TV dicky tearin up

Go up to the bathroom, I have to

Ma dentist say I gotta make an effort now it's time to floss

Hollat ma dog, and I call the mafucka to me and

Get a leash and take him out to walk

Roll around the ave

I put his shit up in a bag

And then a wip pull up, the windows down, this bitch look out and asking

How she get back on the high way

Told dat bitch to drive straight

And take a left on honeycut

But stay up in the right lane

Cause it come up kinda quick

You see what the fuck I'm sayin,

Other people get to rap about like

Home cooked crack, and like jail n shit

And I gotta spit a lotta shit about a muthafuckin

Kid up in a crib that's got the central air

It's not fair

No one cares

Real talk I just wanna braid ma hair

And rap about whatever bruh

Money hoes etcetera

Instead of bein clever every measure but I'm never gonn be

[Chorus:]

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ridin' round smoking weed with ma foreign bitch

Ma window down, I'm riding to ma new shit (wish dat was me)

Got ma new bitch, got ma, got ma new bitch (this dude a g!)

Ion't camp off with no j's they sell them hoes for free (what the fuck that mean?)

Never payin for no pussy, fuck them hoes for free

That's a fucking bawlaa

How can I become a bawlaa?

Sky Hooks lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Alrite, this the type a shit they be playin at the barbershop

I hear these mafuckas saying that it's all for naught

But I ain't stopping till I make it to the top y'all

They bout to feel stupid talking like a dropped call

Cause I'm bout to pop off ma dude, the flow too cashy

And this white dude ain't trashy

I'm actually college educated, U of R abbreviated,

Got inebriated but ma GPA was still amazing

On that 3.93 tip, fuck you know about a

Eastside G spittin uncontrollable

I mean if clever is the measure, then I'm better than

Whatever rapper's getting cheddar, I'm the king, and they corretta

They some bitches like a kennel got,

Dicky spittin devil hot

Listenin to ma writtens gotchu whistlin like a kettle potttt

I can't stop till I make a dent

But this is greatness, take it in

Ya namsayin cause

[Chorus:]

Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid

Wanna lease that wip

Wanna be that sick

Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough

Like a mafucka in this mafucka whatchu know bout a

Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees

To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean

Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same

Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin?

[Verse 2:]

And I spit that shit so asinine

Been known to jerk ma dick just to pass the time

And I ain't never really care for these fake mafuckas

Take mafuckas cake like I wait on these mafuckas

Hate when these mafuckas talk the talk

I'm at the plate, but you know I'm getting walked or balked or somethin'.

And you ain't even in ma league lil shawty

I'm a beast you can find me on the beach with a sporty lil young thang

Tan lines out the ass, so bad she about to go to Alcatraz

I gotta second with the tenth, thinkin alphabet

Lil dicky only breaking bad bitches, Malcolm's dad

I'm on the beat, know you hearda dat

G that'll murder cats

Freak raps, ma dude, ma genes in a fertile sack

Balls full a ballplayas, Archie Manning

I could even let a few in ya family

Now I'm laughin cause

[Chorus:]

Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid

Wanna lease that wip

Wanna be that sick

Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough

Like a mafucka in this mafucka whatchu know bout a

Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees

To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean

Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same

Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin?

[Verse 3:]

And I'm a cake like it ain't nothin.

I stay humpin with a cock, tryna date something.

I'm straight frontin cause I'm not, hard top on ma mamma lexus

I ain't stoppin til lil dicky and Obama texting

Dog, I just wanna rap till ya man straight blow up

I'm nasty, throw up

Ma fam reads torah

And I can do this shit on the reg ya dig

White mack sound brown like texases

I'm really dreamin bout the 22s but I can do it tho

I got a jewish flow and I ain't ever had a student loan

I think you knew it ho, darling, ya man correct

I tell y'all bout ballin, Stan Verret

Cause I been known to use a metaphor

Only fuckin ten or mores

Thought I was an artist but I think I'm likin metta more

Atlanta, Japan to Amsterdam

Ya boy bout to run up into the stands, ynamsayin baby

[Chorus:]

Ya'll mafuckas wanna be that kid

Wanna lease that wip

Wanna be that sick

Das a mafucka in this mafucka getting dough

Like a mafucka in this mafucka fuck you know bout a

Late teen with dreams, debate team to frees

To makin these hooks like Kareem, yamean

Now ya man deep in the game, but keepin the same

Cause I believe, I been keepin the faith, y'nawmsayin?

Beatin' On Ma lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Middle of the week, ain't nobody at the crib (uhh)

Chillin in the bed with a hard ass dick (uhh)

And you Dicky need that

Where the fuck the weed at

Dis about to be a fuckin treat

You can find me tryna beat dick

Lookin for a freak bitch

I ain't fittna pay for it, fuckin with dat free shit

Loadin up a page, porn hunting like a genius

Baby, I make it rain, cetaphil up on the penis

Find the kid up on youjizz loadin two vids

Both dem bitches point of view and

Finding new shit, can't decide to sort by rating or the view hit

Goin stupid, whatcha know about a window full a tabs

And all of them bitches pretty fuckin bad ya dig it

The type bitches gotchu thinkin bout they past (uhh)

Could a been a model, now a fist up in dat ass (uhh)

Bet she wasn't coddled, ain't had no a father

So shawty hit the bottle, gotta toddler

And needed dollars, I swear I hit the lotto with these

Low self esteem having fine ass bitches

Got me loadin, got me streaming, closing blinds, lights dimming

Baby, I'm about to blast off

Ballin with my pants off

So if you was lookin for ya man

[Chorus:]

You can find me in the bedroom beatin on ma dick

Homie I'on't give a fuck, I'm just tryna find a clip

Only fuckin with a hi definition type a bitch

That can suck a dick... man, this a fuckin hit...

[Verse 2:]

Okay you know I'm searchin jenna haze, heather I

Rollin j's and getting high

Almost started creaming seeing mini-skirted haley wilde

Rollin over thumbnails

Lube up in ma thumbnails

Top rated page 21

It's taken me kinda long, but I'm scrollin with ma dick out

I roll a little zag, yea das word to dan dickau

I'm higher than penthouse

Vagina booty and mouth

You prolly redtube-ing, like a pre-pubescant kid out this muthafucka

I'm havin trouble cause her dude is fuckin with rubbers

I know it's subtle, but it's covered, and if I had my druthers

Then I would need to see the skin touch

Maybe that's a bit much

Either way, if you wanna play

[Chorus:]

You can find me in the bedroom beatin on ma dick

Homie I'on't give a fuck, I'm just tryna find a clip

Only fuckin with a hi definition type a bitch

That can suck a dick... man, this a fuckin hit...

[Verse 3:]

Last week, tried to suck my own dick ehhhh

Don't try n act like you ain't try that shit at least once

But now I'm back jackin dat with a mac

No klan, but I stay away from blacks

And ion't take it back, I just can't even relate to it

Lookin like a pussy got a porterhouse steak through it

Hate it when a mafuckas dick is as a big as a 4 loco

Type a girth, that ain't even of this earth ya dig it

I'm dodging pop ups like a muthafuckin vet in this bitch

The door is locked I got the toilet paper ready and ripped

I'm talkin X-art tan hoes

Bangbros passcodes

So if you was lookin for ya man

[Chorus:]

You can find me in the bedroom beatin on ma dick

Homie I'on't give a fuck, I'm just tryna find a clip

Only fuckin with a hi definition type a bitch

That can suck a dick... man, this a fuckin hit...

Sports lyrics - Lil Dicky

Shots in the club like plaxico

I'm in the corner, hot like Placido's

And dicky fuckin flow nuts pistachio

And like Shelvin, I know how to mack a ho

I got girls on ma penis

Flow is the meanest

Not Gilbert, but I'm sellin out arenas

Do it all day A peterson

Because I'm tryna get paid like Revis did

I met a French bitch, big lips, and she got a body

Told her put that ass on moi like nnamdi

Fight like rocky, white like Roddy

Hoosier Daddy all knight like Booby

Hot box ride, I can barely see

You know I keep ma car melo like Anthony

Got bigger blunts than legarrete, smoke outta Taurus

Put Mar kief in dat philly like Morris

Anybody better better than me, good try

I'm the best like Jahvid, but I'm not lion

Not even a tyson... no ear biting

Ma pockets fat with green, so Rex Ryan

I ball for the bucks like Luc Richard Mbah a Moute,

But I'm a fuckin superstar

And if they ask LD where he wanna live

Then I'm a tell 'em where markakis like Nick.

I'm tryna get a little Kevin Love

And then I see a bad bitch starin up in the club

She got an ass so sweet like a cinnabun

I bet dat bitch a giant freak like Lincecum

And so I go and approach her

We kick it like Stover

End of the night, I'm a ownher, hova

Liquor make a bitch feel raunchy, horny

So I'm getting big shots, Chauncey, horry

Took her back at ma Eddie House

And this fine ass bitch takin off her blouse

And then ma D Rose quicka than a bull at the garden

Dick like James from the way that it Harden

My name ain't Charles, but I pack wood son

Ma dick ain't Gretzky, but it's still a good one.

She want that juice I ain't talkin bout OJ

It's more like Mayo, something like OJ

Okay, now her clothes are off

And I can see her C pierced like her name was Paul

I couldn't care less, went down feelin the flavor

It was hairless, something like Villanueva

Ma Rod Smart, so He Hate Me

When I don't cover him up with a safety

But I coordinate that D, so I planned protection

Had a Magnum Rolle like louisania tech did

Put a condom on ma Ryan Braun

Ma Hebrew hammer, then we got it on

I was playin with a boobie, Cavalier

We even made a couple movies, Shaq O'Neil

She had a real big cat, Andres Gallaraga pussy

But I hit it hard, Troy Polamalu on that pussy

No acting but she had a big O Oscar

No PED's little Dicky ballin proper let's go.

Too High lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Wassup, wassup y'all

L-D aka Young Dick

Had to make a track about smoking weed, man

Every rapper got a track about smoking weed so I didn't really have a choice

But, I guess I made mine a little bit different is all

It's like, it's like, it's like

[Verse 1:]

Blowin something sticky word to pre-cum dicks

I'm with ma team in this bitch, and we all getting lit

I mean the weed hella loud, like a teenage chick

And we been smoking for a minute, yeah we blowin on that ganja

And now I'm huffin and puffin, I'm choking on that bong

And the dope I'm on is bomb I'm smoking that Vietcong

Getting real high

Watching funny videos of bill nye

Tell me that this jam isn't still fly -

Bill nye theme song

Now I'm getting hungry than a muthafucka

Put some chicken nuggets in the oven at 400

Whered I put that honey mustard

Lookin all around the cupboard for that muthafucka

Until I discovered a custard, I covered with butter from last week.

How long do them thangs keep?

Guess I better ask jeeves

Go get ma computer but I'm staring at the damn screen

Damn D, you forgetting what ya task be

The puff puff pass, gotcha gassed

Now ya man is fucked...

[Chorus:]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff

But I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit

But I think ma brains too fried

And yeah I'm fuckin faded but I hate it

I'm praying that I make it

Afraid I'm goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin place, cause he too high

[Verse 2:]

Now I'm freakin out up in this bitch

Can't control it and ma homies passin round another spliff

So I bolted to the BR

Consulted with the mirror

Lil Dicky please step up, you pathetic

Cause the weed in you beating you

Then all a sudden I'm on the toilet beating ma penis blue

But I ain't cummin because as I'm imagining fucking something

That pretty girl I'm humping

Becoming my fuckin cousin, or mother or brother

Or some other fucking disgusting person

Ma brain is bein strange, cause I'm high as a plane

I ain't deranged, I'm just saying it's a violent strain

So I go back to the back where they packing up cigars

Dipping snacks, kicking back, staring at some Avatars

Then I flipped, took a decade and a half to make that shit

Yet they couldn't put a second and a half up in that script

How the fuck a human being wanna fuck a

Blueish green 7' 3'' tail having ass thing

Man I'm high as fuckkkk

[Chorus:]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff

But I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit

But I think ma brains too fried

And yeah I'm fuckin faded but I hate it

I'm praying that I make it

Afraid I'm goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin place, cause he too high

[Verse 3:]

Rock hard cock, cause I'm watching katy Perry

In her video the whole world's made of candy

Damn... I ain't even got no candy

So now at the fucking c store

Where ya man be torn than a mafucka

Peanut eminems or a twix

Can't commit, so I count the benefits on ma hands

Goddamn now I'm weary of the man - yeah the cashier

Homeland, Nazir!

S-s-s-so damn tweaked I can't even cross the mothafuckin street

Gotta wait until that muthafucka's green

Now I'm back up at the crib, and I'm laughin at giraffes long necks

Gotta shit, but the path to the bathroom is complex

Crafted a long text, took about an hour

Took a scary shower, now I'm sitting naked on the ground

Man I'm fucked up. I'm bout to call ma mom up and tell her what's up.

This sucks I'm high as fuck.

[Chorus:]

And I was tryna get a little buzz, so I took a little puff

But I think I'm way too high

And I ain't wanna come off like a bitch, so I took another hit

But I think ma brains too fried

And yeah I'm fuckin faded but I hate it

I'm praying that I make it

Afraid I'm goin to dieeeee

I'm too blazed, it's too late

To save Dicky from this fuckin place, cause he too high

Club Night lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Friday fucking night

We bout to do this right

Dicky rollin to the club, he about to find his wife

Cause he fresher than a kid that called his mom a fuckin ho

Bunch a bitches getting low

Pimpin you already know

I'm bout to get up on the flo and then bring chicken to ma crib

Getting drunk up in this muthafucka, fuck you think this is?

Then I see a bad bitch with a booty and a half

I make a move on that cutie, excuse me do you wanna dance

Then she looked at me and laughed

Like I didn't have a chance

Like I shouldn't even asked

So I proceeded to get trashed

And I'm at the bar now, and it's so loud

But I'm takin shots, and I'm throwin down

And I see a pretty lady, so I send her some of that cold brown

And she turned around, and then turned it down

Because in her words, she don't like to flirt with clowns

And I'm alone and pouting, overcrowded, I need to get up out this club

[Chorus:]

I been inside this club for way too long

I wanna leave and eat calzones

None of these females wanna bone

Ma self esteem is all but gone

[Verse 2:]

Bout to quit, but I'm bitter I paid that cover

So I guess I gotta stay in this stupid club a bit longer

And I'm sweating like a jew in a multicultural sauna

They been playing fuckin dubstep for ten consecutive songs

And then I bumped into a guy

He was roughly 6 foot 5

Pretty sure it was his fault, but I apologized

Pretty sure you know the type, probly bankin every night

Vodka sprite, lookin round to find a kike that he can fight

Or suckerpunch, I'm kinda drunk, and I been in the club for way too long

Now I'm up in the corner, all alone, ESPN up on ma phone

Ma self esteem is so depleted, such a mess, I'm overheated

I regretfully just tweeted some depressing shit, I need to leave this club

[Chorus:]

I been inside this club for way too long

I wanna leave and eat calzones

None of these females wanna bone

Ma self esteem is all but gone

[Verse 3:]

Is this really for the bathroom, are you kidding?

This the type of line where people squeeze they dick to prevent pissing

When I get inside the stall it's like a yeti had been shitting

And there's piss all on the ground, so as I'm wizzing I keep slipping

Fuck this hand stamp

Club is really damn cramped

Fuck it, I'm a suck it up and take another damn chance

Ughh, here goes nothing (c'mon D)

Ay girlie, what's the word

At first glance I may look like a nerd

But if you let me, bet D, get thee, all up in the bed so wet like a mafuckan jetski

Real rap if you tryna go, then put your name right here up inside ma phone

She took bait, no way, typing out her home, she pressed save,

Walked away, and her name was no?

[Chorus:]

I been inside this club for way too long

I wanna leave and eat calzones

None of these females wanna bone

Ma self esteem is all but gone

Grimy As A Gooch lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Iont fuck around

I been getting down

Not afraid to eat some triscuits up off the ground

5 second rule?

I'm on that 5 year

A lotta guys fear what I got in my ears (wax)

If I ain't pissin then you know I'm shittin bricks

Do it sick, when I finish homie I ain't washin shit

Shaved dick, shave with, same shit, face get

Bitches sittin on ma pillows and they butt naked

Lickin grease off of that pizza

And these mafuckas prolly want a paper towel

Errybody know that I rape toenails

When I pick, then I flick em on the straight up ground now

Ain't shit to a mafuckan balla

Mo grit than a mafuckan dolla

Come back from ballin, you gotta smell sack

Yea it's that appalling

And Ion't ever wash ma feet

When I'm in the shower, they be hard to reach

When I'm getting down, goin out on the weekend

I'm asleep before I brush my teeth

I'm a goddamn G tho

Mo grime than Ed Reed's pee hole

Mo grime than Ronaldhino

These other rappers can't deny it

[Chorus:]

Cause I don't even act like a thug

But I'm cold enough

I ain't moving crack, holdin guns

But there's more than one dimension to a balla

You can find ya boy around the way

Being scummy and fucking grubby you know I'm tryna say

That I'm grimy as a gooch

Grimy grimy as a gooch (swag)

Grimy as a gooch

Grimy grimy as a gooch (swag)

It take a slimy muthafucka to be grimy as a grundle

So you in trouble, if you attempt to try to be as gutter as the kid

[Verse 2:]

Eating wings

Beating off

Dick stings from the muthufuckan hot sauce (swagga)

Came nuts... no tp

Lazy so I rub it on the damn sheets

Ya man D on that reggie evans shit

Boogie pickin, boogie flickin, hella belly button lint

Fuck a bitch, and I'm wetter than a muthafuckin swish

Yeah I'm sweating more than CC bases loaded, bottom 6

I'm eating mixed nuts with my mouth wide open

At bar a bar where them house flies float

Iont give a fuck if it flush if I must urinate

Not a place up in the house I wouldn't go

I sink piss, and I sniff clothes

Nastier than Kimbo

And I lick snow

When it's yellow

And I sleep at the hotel on

That old blanket that yo mamma used to never let you touch

I just don't give a fuck, I'm nasty like the nut of johnny kruk

I do the dutch oven to maself

Fuckin with the way it smells

So if someone sicker well then tell me

[Chorus:]

Cause I don't even act like a thug

But I'm cold enough

I ain't moving crack, holdin guns

But there's more than one dimension to a balla

You can find ya boy around the way

Being scummy and fucking grubby you know I'm tryna say

That I'm grimy as a gooch

Grimy grimy as a gooch (swag)

Grimy as a gooch

Grimy grimy as a gooch (swag)

It take a slimy muthafucka to be grimy as a grundle

So you in trouble, if you attempt to try to be as gutter as the kid

Bars lyrics - Lil Dicky

What it do

Was 22 up in the room

Thinkin bout a way that I could make a move

Make a boom

Debated to move to LA

To make it in movies

But traded the pool shade and gravitated to music

Now I'm spittin the hottest shit

It don't matter the competition

Is sadder than a bladder that be lackin a pot to piss in

It's actually kinda sicknin

The rap is beyond horrific

Admit it bruh, waka flaka flame is somehow respected?

The game has gotta change, used to listen to jay

Up on the train, now they floodin the waves with 2 chainz

I feel like I separate with ma lines like 2 lanes

It's a dark knight when the joker's better than them banes

Of the rap game, all of 'em rap lame,

They claimin all em ballin, well then all of em sac kings

At least they in the league tho

I can't even cop a fuckin peacoat

That's why I'm aiming outside the box, like it's a free throw

The weed smoke fuckin the air up

Got this mothafucka snackin more than Miggy Cabrera

Got dis mafucka rappin some crack and yappin about it on his cell phone

Tell holmes this is the track, that I got ma swell on

And I spit that shit so fast sometimes I need to slow it down

All these bitches up in the crib, it's like ma home a pound

Tell me I ain't hold it down

Spittin ridiculous, ticklin bitches

Up into they britches, and rip em like tickets

And fastballs, lookin at a cutie on the dance flo

I visualize that booty with the pants off

Had a little dance off

And I ain't had no shot it was the ass fault

Cause shawty body arguably hotter than august asphault

They claimin they great, man these rappers straight lebroning

I'm layin in wait, to smack the fuck up out dat spalding

I'm hatin every song, they celebratin poppin dom

But I be takin shots a brandy like a kobe at the prom pic

Bomb shit, ya'll should see ma muthafuckin blonde bitch

The bombs on dat body shawty just gotta be Islamic

I twist and I turn her on till she wet like she a faucet

No rapper give you more a set... isn't it ironic?

Because I'm seein these labels

Pumpin out the horseshit, got me callin em stables

Pumpin out the tours quick, but they ain't makin hits

Ain't nobody great as this

White boy killin brothers on that cane and abel tipppp

Tri tip steak, up on a plate, I'm on a date

With a dime bitch, nibbling cake

But nevermind that

Someone tell me where the fuck the rhymes at

I was bumpin nas in his prime and you gonn sign that?

Oh well, guess I'm better than they'll ever be

I could do it serious but they prefer the levity

I ain't really hearin nuffin

Say I ain't the man

I'm layin in sand, zero spf for the tan

But now I'm back in this muthafucka, spit hotta than a flame throw

Waitin to hear em call on ma name like rap a game show

Tell me this is lame,

Though I know that is bogus

Gotta focus

Be the dopest

With the most set of quotes, and the grossest

When I flow sick, and the hope is

Notice is right around the corner, my time to shine

Is almost aligned, something like a quarter to nine

If I could have a quarter for the metaphors in my rhymes

I'd only have a couple dollas so I'm stickin with dimes, ya know?

They getting off like a train stop

I'm lookin at ma dick like how the fuck do you stay rock

No southern carolina, how you got so much game cock

Cause you movin that vagina in the dark like a stage prop

It's all good

I'm making this the outro

I had to fuckin spit, this is what I'm about bro

And you know what it is, holla back up at the kid Slim Boner

So damn hard, this shit is over