New Rap lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Sup y'all

It's your boy, L-D

A.K.A. Slim Boner

This does not have shit to do with Sports Center,

But I want to dedicate this to all the Sports Center anchors out there making our nights easier

[Verse 1:]

Ay, what's really really good with it

Dicky rollin swishers, switch da role up, now the jew killin shit

Excuse me, ma attitude be, a little crude

For da few people, tryna boo, and screw and shoo me

Ma crew be sayin that I'm focused for real

And soon dude'll play dem women like he coachin brazil, I'm ill

Score with bitches bro... yain't get that punchline?

Love dimes, drum line, cherry coke and lunch time

Damn, how you spittin so ridiculous with it,

Da kid been killin

All his writtens meticulously,

Cause dicky getting sick

Of these bitches spittin chicken shit, literally

Listen to little b, piss on the industry, shit isn't pretty

But LD, whaddup, ya boy been spittin hot

Weird, but it's cool like boy when he kiss his pop

I'm here, makin noise, better get a mop

Cause I'm bout to shit all up on hip-hop

[Hook:]

So if you want it with me

You know I'm clubbin with a chubby

Prolly tuckin ma D

Cause I been really good livin

Philly D ma hood chillin

If you really good feelin

Holla back at dude killin em

L-I-L dicky flowin it up

Westside, getting high, yea we blowin it uppp now

So if you really getting sick. of this new crap...

Then listen up, cause Dicky been spittin new rap

[Verse 2:]

Das dat good shit

Read about that shit

I'm tweeting bout that shit

I'm making a believer outcho bitch

I'm freakin out dis bitch,

I'm skeeting where you eatin' outcho bitch

I cheef a mound piff, and now I'm really freakin out this bitch bro.

I'm the biggest pussy rappin all day

I'm a represent it lovin me some rent on broadway

Call it gay, but fuck it, it's really lovely

To come up in really comfy pajamas

With a mama and knowledge of commas and college

But all these other rappers think thuggin is cool

These mafuckas so redundant with the drugs in the jewels

But I ain't buggin... ma stomach getting sun by the pool

I'm with a mexicano jawn straight getting azul

Foreal tho

Real flowin, jabronis is still frontin with it

Real open spittin, ma dick is a mere couple inches

Meals made of truffle,

Ma kitchen is real troublesome

I'm real good at hugging, and snugglin,

Somewhat at fuckin and

[Hook]

Workaholics lyrics - Lil Dicky

I heard this shit on workaholics

And this for errbody bout to finish college

It's only right that I drop a little knowledge

Cause life ain't like it outta be

I thought it'd be, a lotta women callin me

And sodomy, and drinkin like it's all for free

Illogically, I never thoughta poverty

Or how this muthafucka's muthafuckin job would be

But ever since I go the cap and gown

Errybody cracking down, nappin now

Erry fuckin snack got me packin pounds

Wearin fuckin slacks, got me scratching da back uh ma sack

And rap is not exactly a faculty rapidly rackin me

Anything but apathy for those who be naggin and draggin me

Into the wackest meetings, holding me back from eating

The saddest fucking lunch I pack and bag in the evening

Ma bank is depleted, I even have to think before tweeting

Man it's really fuckin sad when thinking bout

The evolution from the past to drinking now

We used to go and split a handle, drink it down

Then hit the town, and hit the hottest chicks around

But now? I can barely slug a half a dozen tops

Used to chug a lot, now I'm fuckin buzzin off a shot whoa

Clubbin wasn't nuffin to me boy

Used to walk up in that muthafucka stuntin like whassup, I wadn't coy

Ain't nobody gave a fuck if I'm employed

Errybody drunk and fuckin lovin it, rubbin, and huggin

Mugging, chugging and fuckin but now these bitches

Is up on some other shit, wanting a husband

Clubbin got me buggin and blushing cause I'm a young'n das confronted

With a hundred abundantly rugged, and coveted, funded muthafuckas, it's humbling

Think about the age range

They get to date way older and emotionally open homies goin gray

Now I'm up on first dates

Sober like it's first grade

Hoping when it's over that I close it with some first base shit

Ma face getting fuckin fat

It's April, hateful fillin fuckin taxes out

Long ass days, getting blazed, and tappin out

Back is naggin now, mac is laggin now

Because I bought it back in college

So if you comin lemme run a little knowledge

If you was wondering if fun isn't acknowledged

Well Wednesdays, I be watching workaholics

Hit Me Up lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

D up on the track

They shook,

Race good

Cheetah on a track

Great hooks,

Facebook

We up on the map

Now the cake good from rappin

Cray up on a mac

We been getting pussy like all damn night bruh

Philly D lil dicky be up on that L dystra

Think I need a diaper... shittin when I cypher

Stay with eminems... like ya man's kai pfaifer

Whoa

Dicky ballin foreal

All these models all up on him got em callin him seal

Every song is getting bomber like a mall in isreal

And I been buzzin like I'm chugging alcohol with no meal

I got that shit, everybody know that dicky been kickin

Da sickest shit and killin criminal's spittin so

If you get wanna get me then

You know where I be at

If you didn't know about the kid then lemme recap

Baby I been all around the fuckin world

Huggin da girls

These muthafuckin bitches lovin the curls

The kid been takin his vacation days and

Makin bacon, basically takin the game and changing

It to make it relatable

Trader joes up in the fridge boi

Unprotected sex without no kids boi

Makin sure ma lady take dat pill boi

Gotta keep it real

Honesty about to get ya boi a deal, boi

Comedy in songs, fuck da kill joys

But like

[Hook:]

Man, I wish I could sing good

If I was a chick, right now this a single

But until this shit get around, then it's all ya dude

Up in his room, getting down, but it's all for you

So like

Shoot

If you know somebody that produce

Or a hottie that'll sing about her boobs

Hit me up on gmail tho yo

Cause I been tryna take dis shit to retail bro

And I don't know have any contacts

[Verse 2:]

Alrite I'm back up in this bitch

Spittin crack, up on the track

Up on the mac, up in this bitch

I been anxious to see what's actually happenin with this

Cause the rappin that's crackin em up is actually legit

You know

I'm bout to get it, better bring in the medic, I'm reppin

Literally, every regular person, get up on ma credit level

Better than your better will ever be, spittin incredibly

Ready, I'm a get on that melody with dat real shit

I'm the only rapper not exactly sure what trill is

But I'm still attacking every track and I been killin

Shit, but dude I'm scared of the hood

It's really spooky, dat ain't racist, think you misunderstood

Lil dicky bullshitting, and good livin with good writtens

So good riddance, to every rapper acting so cool with it

I school bitches, but still I'm acting a fool with it

So fuck all the tools with they stupid ass music but...

[Hook]

[Outro]

Beef lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Cause if you really talkin' shit bruh

I suggest you take a sec and recognize ma shit raw

I been texting pictures atcho sister, be ma in law

You know I been spittin' vicious, whatchu fittin' to get at ma dude

I been killin' bitches, Michael Vick in the booth

The US see me, I be kiffin to you

I gotcho bitch up on ma stick she ride it sick

Like it was quidditch but nude

And I'm the honorary Gryffindor Jew

And I don't care about ya bitch, or ya ya, ya riches or ya wips bro

Even tho you fictional, I'm guessing that you get dough

No you don't exist, but I see through you like a window

Dicky run this shit and you'sa cripple

Fuck it though, you dumber than Waka Flocka

Be sonnin you like a father

D bomber than Osama plot

And smart as Obama

Gotcho lil mama in the sauna all up

In the male locker room

She really good with the D

That's my Serge Ibaka boo, ooh

Das dat dude, spittin hot as Rihanna

You softer than llamas

Do prima donnas faster than ramadan

I'll be honest, getting commas in ma wallet

Is nada, ebonically smarter, the kike

Been flowin nice as the Dalai Lama

Whaddup bruh

I'm goin stupid cause I'm better

This the hottest shit like I was pooping in a sweater

Ain't nobody do you anymore, you a letter

You get it write? That was clever

Ho'

But look

[Hook:]

If you think you on ma level jabroni

Than let me educate you, bet you need a fellowship homie

Lil dicky rippin dat ribbon cause what he spittin' is winning

So if you finna be some chicken for dinner

Then hollaback up at the kid boy

I'm spittin' good up in this bitch ho

So if you wanna get at me, you better get a Mento, ahhh

That's word to ads from the past

Ya ass up in a jam if you come at the man

Then yon't stand a chance

[Verse 2:]

Das retard flow

I been talkin game on campuses I'm Lee Corso

Battle me, he'll be like, "Dude I ran." see Argo

Package all up in this dude caboose... free cargo

Fuck it. I'm really talkin that shit

I'm coming at a muthafucka that don't even exist

But if we under the assumption that he

Someone dat spit it redundant to someone incumbent

Then he dumber than bricks ya dig?

Listen to these bitches making hits and

You'll see the horrendousness dat be existing

Every minute some kid is diminishing a single

Written like a semi-retarded kid in kindergarten

Except he harder than me, so poor Lil Dicky is stuck

Watching stupid muthafuckers

Make music and caking foolish

While jewish muthafuckas rate movies

Okay cupid to do a lil fuckin

But if it's bout the rap, they on't want it

That's why I tell em look

[Hook]

[Outro]

The '90s lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1:]

Man I wish I was a kid

Thinking bout the third grade

Back in '96 in my Michael Jordan jersey

French fries curly, cool with it, raising Tamagachis

Dick 3 and a half, the same as a floppy

Nerf guns loaded and we shootin at y'all motherfuckers

We ain't getting hoes, but we getting soda

And we was fucking with the swag of The Fresh Prince

Ain't nothing like when you had mad tokens left

In that arcade balling

Watching tickets falling

Pegging stupid bitches in the motherfucking ball pit

Landline calling

Chilling at the mall

And if this the type of shit that you recall well then

[Hook:]

Let me hear you shout

If you grew up in the 90's

Then you know what I'm about

Don't you wish we could rewind it

I wish we could, man I really miss it

Cause we having fun all day

Slept all night

Best ten years of our whole damn lives

Blowing on a cartridge, a lot of fucking farting

I would give it all up, if I could restart it

[Verse 2:]

Sitting on the school bus

Flipping through some Goosebumps

A minute 'til I'm shitting out the school lunch

Wanna know what cool was?

Starter jackets, Jock jams, and Pop Rocks

Sega in my room, baby boom shaka laka

Lot of slammers in my pocket, flippin them pogs

And I knew every modem noise in ma aol login

On that Oregon Trail

With Keenan & Kell

I was jerkin off daily, TRL

But that Saved by the Bell

Was on some fuckin hot shit

OJ to jail, oh wait that glove did not fit

Short shorts Stockton

Beanie Baby profits

And NBA on NBC if you remember watching

[Hook]

[Verse 3:]

Remember getting greeted with Scholastic mags

I hated it reading but it made me need that shit so bad

And we was spinning that bottle, de-prude hoes

Winning full throttle, Nintendo

Switch the flow up, getting donuts

Fruit roll ups, wishing we could be a grown up

Being so dumb, fucking with the kid, call me Lil Dicky Griffey

And my koosh balls big, man I think I had 50

Love those mentos ads

There were ten boy bands

I had ten ring pops on my hands

Plus I love that Nick at Nite nighttime

Kicks had lights

Shine brighter than some tights when they was tag team fighting

Shout out to Topanga

Fuck you know about Jenga?

Best head ever from a Pez dispenser

[Hook]

[Outro]

The Basement lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Wasup ya'll? let me preface this by saying this is not a Mac Miller diss by any means

I actually like mac miller butt, but right now he probably is the most popular rapper excluding Eminem

And I'm just not even close so you can understand why I would rap over one of his beats

I got a little bit of Kobe in me and if Kobe saw Lebron he would wanna rap over one of his beats

Metaphorically speaking, I know he ain't Lebron, butt, but you get what the fuck I'm saying

Maybe he's more of a Jo Johnson type of shit, no disrespect

Fuck... this undergrad bitch tryn fuck

And her chest deserves an A, like she handle da puck

She know D been bumpin Drake like ya man a Canuk

Homie even if it's May in LA... I'm so fuckin cold

Roll good on that Westside

Hoes cook like they country thick

So hood up in Best Buy

Controller, D punkin kids

Loading up the used dishes

Rollin up with two bitches

Hope they old enough

To get folded up, I'm not bold enough to do prison

I been drinkin sippin something so horrific, ya dig it

Because I tipped the bartender extra, then he put extra liquor

In dat shit. Goddamn. Das a misinterpretation

Hate it when they stiff. Overtipping cause I'm caking

Take in errything a mafucka say

Been about rap, figured out that from the basement

I ain't talkin bout rap city on black entertainment

Talkin bout the place I was raised in

Plate full uh bacon

Making a bagel and bake on occasion

Back then woulda made rap for grades

Now a mafucka make rap for pay

And them bitches too

Chickens that I'm bangin so appealing

They been Shagging on ma balls, like they practicing they fielding and

I Sorta make em pop off

Make em take they socks off

Round the fuckin bases then get pounded like a walk off

Aw naw...

This a fucking statement I'm making

They been hesitating to give lil David space at the table

Cause they label a capable able jew gay and too playful

Watching cable naked, the AC blowin major like slater's dad

Why you hater's mad?

Maybe I should get a couple tats

Maybe I should get in trouble and be dumbin down the rap

Look at Mac

White as fuck but lookin thugger than a trap spot

Need another mac 'stead of luggin round this laptop

Blackballed

From the muthafuckin rap blogs

Cause I rap odd, never talkin bout a fuckin black card

Ion't gotta play da black card, cause I rap hard

Ion't think it mean I gotta act hard

Fuck it tho

Despite dat LD straight fucking hoes

Ma chickens stay hot, no buffalo

Ma hand been up in her bod, no muppet ho

Whatcha know bout a mafuckin kid up with a job

Coulda fit in with the mob, had a kid and a garage

But I didn't now I'm spittin like a mothafuckin slob

Doin shit up in garageband, better than the gods of the game do

Ya'll better know ma name soon

I ain't no clown, when you laughin out loud

Don't forget you getting down to a great tune

Make room

I'm coming for you muthafuckin rappers spittin dogshit

Yeah I'm fuckin funny, but this muthafuckin dog spit

Aw shit... I could write a TV show tomorrow

But before I get dat Emmy I'm a make you bitches sorry that I'm gone

[Outro - Lil Dicky:]

Yeah, and once again no disrespect to Mac, Mac I actually follow you on Vine, I'm fucking with you, it looks like your having a pretty ridiculous amount of fun,

Sometimes your at a pool, sometimes your smoking weed and rapping

Would love to be a part of it, if vine is any indicator your life is awesome

Okay I got to go to work, cya

Back In Business lyrics - Lil Dicky

Yeah fuck you think you dealin' with

Every time ya hear da the kid you know he bout to kill dis shit

Every rhyme is sicker than an ugly bitches period

You know the Jew is building something I ain't talking pyramids

Them bitches with titties they wanna get up at the kid

They instant messaging Dicky, they wanna get up on his dick

But I ain't ready to hit it, because I'm relatively timid in the bed I admit it

But fuck that gay shit we should fuck soon

Baby whatchu wann do

Tell me when to come through

Take you out to ritas then I'll skeet up where dat tongue blue

D could tweet a freak till I'm peekin' up at a cheek and that physique'll

Have me jackin' ma D if I don't agree to meet at her at her fucking condo

Eat it like a combo

Need it in the mourning or I'm heated like Alonzo

You know that the geek about mack up an actress

Imagining McAdams all on ma mattress

Attackin' ma sack and attractively crackin', ejaccin', we nappin'

The fuck you think you doin'

I'm rappin' some crack and I'm lackin' the practice cause the Jew

Dat's been smackin' the track up and snappin' has actually been doin'

This shit, renewing the spit, for one year

Fuck it tho

Think you better read about ma fuckin' flow

I'm smoking weed with clueless bitches cheatin' playin' suck and blow

Eatin' on some buffalo chicken fingers on a boat

Went from being honor roll to spreadin' like he on a roll

Haha... Whoa

Okay now I'm on a roll

Scoring got em screaming commentators speaking on a goal

Tourin' writing TV, getting greedy but I'm honorable

I swear dat Dicky isn't that conceited but I think it's time to

Roll another spliff, and we blowin' that

Salt and vinegar up in the whip, yea I'm holdin' that

Bitches droppin' back up in shotgun like they was Flacco or Rodgers

I'm doin 60 so I tell em to stoppit, I need to concentrate

The hoes know DI, been goin' MIA

I'm in the four door Fiat, with poquilla

Bitches das been showin' me interest

Seen up on Pinterest

Don't know how it happened but Lil Dicky back in business

A$AP DICKY lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Intro:]

Hey what's up y'all?

It's ya boy Dicky, AKA Yung Dick

A$AP Rocky beat

A$AP, fuckin' witchu

If you tryna like, get on a track, collaborate, I'm with it

Or like

Even if it's like just getting brunch

I get brunch, if you wanted to

I don't know if you get brunch but you should

My treat

So, alright, hold up

[Verse 1:]

Yo

Riding through ya city, tryna find some titties

I'm high enough to think I might be dying, word to Whitney

Vagina, chicken, sticky, that's all you gotta give me

And I'm bout it, bout it, ain't no doubt about it

Lil dicky ehh?

Heard he spit that witty ridiculously, offensive shit

Heard he got expensive shit, heard that he resent his dick

You heard right muthafucka

I'm a a bright, coy, white boy, kike muthafucka ehh?

So whatchu fittin to do

I got a bitch she brought a bitch now ma dick dinner for two

Okay das fiction but admit it that I'm spittin it smooth enough

To get a jew with some scruff to mack a beauty with boobs and a butt

And plus a flat ass navel, twistin' that, no dreidel

From the back so fable of me (woof)

Cream cheesin, philly bred - so bagel of me

When dicky dead, this is never gonna be... so

[Hook]

[Verse 2:]

And I been rollin with a fatty

Boneless chicken patties

Been clubbin like this muthafucka's rollin with a caddy

And now that I been rappin, all these bitches holla me

Had to put a daily cap on the head, no Aladdin

Know I'm average looking, and I'm bragging bout getting chickens

But this spitting got me positioned to be banging out bitches

Outta ma league... Jeff Teague bangin on Griffey

Would never happen less you happen to be hanging with dicky

Oh yeah I'm white, killin brothas like I'm up in the klan

Been fucking fly faced honeys like I'm up in sudanm so damn!

I'm a spit it till I get a buggatti

And body two hotties, who bodies

Fugazi, punanis tsunami - das wet

Puffin sticky, you ain't fuckin with lil dicky

Bumpin biggie, humpin giddy

Cummin quicker than ma internet

I got high speed internet

Spittin mad ignorant

Sicker than a muthafuckin immigrant

[Outro]

DEEZUS lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:]

Drinkin' up at summer camp

Itchin' on ma underwear

Dicky got a ton a hair

Money talk, rap game Chris Tucker here

Erry' muggle fuckin with' me

Going nuts, word to chunky Jiffy

Cold cuts up in the Panini

Mo butt than a Puerto Rican, I been tryna freak too

Nowadays Dicky tryna get a little freak to

Nominate Dicky dick for a little free poon

Honestly, probably rather have a little sweet boo to let me spoon

Fuck it I'm conflicted

Now that the kid been spitting dat

All types a women starting to listen and part of Lil Dicky sorta wishing

For a chick I can build with start to finish

But an even bigger part of me is tryna fuck

All these twitter bitches pictures looking fine as fuck

Been a girlfriend guy for a while and shucks

This the first time dimes been in line to stuff

But, I ain't doin' em all, or doin' em raw

Da boy ain't new to the ballin'

Viewing it all just like

A straight Jew at the mall with loot in the wallet

The restraint engrained up into the ball

But I ain't blue in the balls tho

Got a lil' boo up in law school

Freckles all up over her nostrils

She doing me proper, lotsa pasta, shots of vodka

Tonsil soccer, pop then it's off to clasa hasta manana

Being weird again

There he go Kanye being weird again

It's okay he allowed cause he legendary

But I don't really know how to treat this segment

[Verse 2 - Lil Dicky:]

Sippin' on an Orangina

Bout' to see a foreign feature

Skittles and a quarter reefer

I snuck em both inside the theater

Used to do a ton of math

Now I'm close to doing none of that

I'm bout to hire someone's dad

And he about to do a ton of math

Add it up, rapping crack, gon' stack it up

Back it up ho, das whassup

Cracker jacks at the bank

Cole Hamels up, drank a cup and I'm kind of buzzed

I'm high as fuck, but fuck that

Where them bitches sitting 7th inning finna fuck at

Used to fuck with bitches that was timid with the nutsack

Now I'm fuckin' bitches let me jizz up on they buttcrack

Das a fun fact, I'm

Head of ma class and ready for mine

And like a great red in a glass, I'm better with time

I mean I came letterman jacket, ready to shine

They up designer shit

I'm in footie pajamas bitch

Omelettes, bomb as shit

The rhyming sick

Competish can't conquer dis'

I'm legit, honest chicks is on ma dick

I ain't a God but... you can call me Deezus

Switch to beat up

Ye, I see ya

Bout to make more tortillas

Pork carnitas

Going straight North Korea

Poor Aaliyah

Sorta Lena

Y'all dudes more Madea

Touring, writing, rapping, snoring while I'm napping

Luring these foreign tourists to ma sack and scoring

During performances in the back and

I'm making all of this up because I'm rappin'

Inside a lucky 4 bedroom apartment

That we found on Craigslist and settled in August

You know it was rent control and it was awesome

It came with' a washer

And a dryer

Goodbye y'all

Flames lyrics - Lil Dicky

[Verse 1: Lil Dicky]

Iight, I'm blowing on that sticky shit

Everybody's talking, bitches stalking, quick as Lawson

When I'm walking to the gym and shit

Everybody wanna get involved with the Dicky kid

I don't even know the deal y'all, I'm just killing shit

I ball like I'm playin the wii

Hit up all da ATMS, I been paying the fees

Being gay about the stems, Dicky weighing the weed

And now these labels on a cleanse, got em saying

We need jews, oh the dude the scoop boos,

Boozing stupid and he rap bruising tunes amusing students

I'm the truth dude

Put some funny shit up on youtube

Now these mafuckas spitting looking shitty as doo doo

Who knew, ya dude got a lot to do

I don't fill them bitches up, but the lobster do

Plus she licking on my nut like it's pasta too

And now that Dicky blowing up all these bitches so compliant

These days dicky gotta cover up his privates

Bathroom pissing brothas buzzing on some spy shit

Man, I wish that my dick was a little bigger

Because I'm in a pickle for riddles about ma pickle

Being minimal, criminally abysmal and literally

Women I'm hitting is cognizant of every centimetre

And I'm meeting bitches who seem to be fucking Derek jeter's

Every weekend, very freaky, don't know what I'm doing to em

These bitches do the type of shit chicks in porn doing

Bathroom beating on my dick, right before I do 'em

Man that's my only chance, ya know

I'm handsome though

I gotcha lady dancing bro

[Hook:]

Man ever since I came up in this motherfucker shit been changed

Every rapper getting madder 'bout the funny shit I'm saying

They be trapping, I be napping, steady crapping on the game

And like a rabbit out the hat I'm doing magic with the flames man

[Verse 2: Lil Dicky]

Better stop comparing me to Andy Milanokis

Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, man I swear it's so obnoxious

I don't care about the rarity of care-free song topics

The hilarity and parody is not what's got you noddin when I write

On the mic spit, nothing like a white kid

Black bitches even fucking with me cause I'm nice with

Raps, booty big as shit, I'm in it but she quite thick

Crap, from this angle I can barely fit the pipe tip

Like da the white man bright, and me don't bite

And me won't fight, me done watch da dark knight with a cold sprite

And me so kike, kite runner up on da cold night

And me done scrub de body with ton of the old spice

[Interlude]

[Verse 3:]

But fuck it

My buddy got a crib Nantucket

And everybody here with a bitch straight fucking

And everybody here know the kid stay bumpin'

My YouTube, Smith up on the Knicks, they subbing... aww.

I just checked up in yo bitch's pussy up on 4square

Mini golfing oh so often you woulda swore I toured there

Break 'em off up in my office you know I record in there,

It's boring there so fuck it

I been caking, don't mistake me for some rapper you hating

I'm actually making the hottest fucking tracks in the nation

Like Satan somehow created some elaborate gymnasium

Packing bowls in stadiums, came from packing the bowl in basements

Name a rapper in the game, spit a flame like you boy can

Everybody know I got it made like a boyband

Everybody know I'm getting laid like a Troy fan

I stay with Trojans on ma shit, ya dig?

[Hook]