Lil Dicky other songs:

 

Ally's Song lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Oh, woah woah oh woah

I fucked the whole thing up, I did it all backwards

Now I'm all alone with my rap verse

I can barely share a password

I said we'd dance, I left you there

You left me there too

You had my back, I puked on you

I chased my dream so much it ran

I can't make jokes without your laugh, it seems

I'd do anything to melt you, I took you for granted

I'll give you belly rubs too, did you like the rabbit?

It's killing me to kill you, and you were the magic

But I fucked the whole thing up, I did it all backwards

Now I'm all alone with my rap verse

You were the best at my worst, and I miss you ally, hoot-hoot

I'm lost without you, hoot-hoot

Baby lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Hey, good morning, baby

You need some java, baby?

We got to wake up, baby

Last night was really crazy

I think I liked it, baby

Damn, you smooth, baby

Looking like you moisturize, baby

Tell me where to buy it, baby

I'm dry, I need the product, baby

Got my hand on navel

Then she slid her panties to the ankle

Made me back up and look at the bussy

Bussy glistening like a heavyweight

You wanna fuck me, baby?

Haven't showered in a minute, girl

But if you with it, then I'm with it, baby

I will shower you with every curl

Are you freaky, baby?

Spooning me like I was soup

Want me to be dirty like a goose?

Ooh, but what do you like, baby?

Do you want me to choke you, baby?

She said, "That's okay, baby"

"That's okay" as in you want that?

Or "That's okay" as in "No thanks, baby"?

She look at me crazy

I said, I don't mean to complicate it (no, no)

Let me grab a condom, baby

I put it on, then she, then she

Throws it back, give me the ass, pop it

Tickle the breast, nibble the crack, stop it

General Custer with the tactics, I'm a demon

I could feel the semen creeping 'round the penis

Being a man in there

We need a ambulance

Pussy getting killed

She orgasming, body spasming

Then I finally finish, can you feel it, baby?

Sliding off, where's the condom, whoa!

Well, it's not on my penis, baby

It's so confusing, baby

Uh, did I-

Did I just fuck you raw, baby?

Uh, I'm looking 'round and I don't see it, baby

I move the blanket, move the covers

Where's the rubber, baby?

Now she digging like a caveman in her bussy for it

Even if you find it in there, what's the difference, baby?

Semen probably already leaking in there, swimming in you

She said she still don't want no condoms sitting in her insides

I said, I understand, but there are bigger fish to fry

She said, "You blaming me, but you the one that put it on"

I am not blaming you and I don't think I put it on wrong

I put it on my pinky first to see which way it go

Because I'm well aware that condoms aren't reversible

She screamed, "I found it, baby!"

She pulled it out her bussy

But I can't celebrate it, cause we got bigger fishy

Girl, I ejaculated, and I don't see it in there

She said, it's fine, she'll just take the morning-after pill

Oh, oh!

Thank God for the tech now

We should probably go and get it now

This is life when you're young and wild

Could I B Jesus lyrics - Lil Dicky (with Brain)

 [Lil Dicky:]

Yuh

Just saying yuh sounds like you're jocking Drake

So annoying

Illa, illa, illa, illa, L

Yuh, yuh

I used to go out to the Y, Friday nights

On the outskirts of Philly

I'm dropping dimes to this night

In the outskirts you feel me?

And I done been saving my good shit up

Old bitches now, yeah they would get up

Winklevoss twins, yeah I could get fucked

Chinese food, yeah I could get duck (uh)

[Brain:]

Brain give a fuck 'bout an old bitch

Brain give a fuck 'bout dat hoe

Brain got head on the snowlift

Brain cold ipso facto

Brain go in', I'm ballin' (ooh)

Brain go in', I'm ballin'

[Lil Dicky:]

One, two time for the sixers

If this bitch get off on the wrong foot

Put her on the bench for a lil Ben Simmons

[?] could ride wood like Jah, doe

Still gotta lick gelato

Feel like I hit the lotto

[Brain:]

Brain never bag a proper

Brain fucked Aunt Jemimah

[Lil Dicky:]

I don't get head on the freeway

That is forbidden like ebay

She playing with Jimmy like D Wade

She wanna stop at the B.K

We don't go out, she a cheap date

I'm straight to the ass like a cheesecake

We run this shit back like a replay

Mutual orgasm, we came

[Brain:]

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Hey, could I be Jesus? (no way, no way, no way)

Hey, could I be Jesus?

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Holy like Jesus

I might be Christ

[Brain:]

Oh, my word

Oh, my God

I was overweight today but now I'm a model

I don't eat the pussy for free

Touchy, I get pussy, I be fucking these streets

[Lil Dicky:]

Ichiar deli my P got a nut out the purple like jelly

I'm buzzin', buzzin' like a left behind celly

My DM x-rated like critics, the belly

I got the coldest cuts around like a deli (ah)

Used to be in love with Aliyah

Used to be in love with Daria

Shit on these rappers like diarrhea

[Brain:]

Brain with the dope like a mob boss

Chapo Chapo Chapo Brain

Stay with the peace like Gandhi

Blocka blocka, know what I'm sayin'? (yah) Brain like Mike, like Shad Moss

Brain like, might like shamone

Brain might fuck your bitch

When he done, might ask your ex for a ride home

[Lil Dicky:]

Rollin' up the bud, rollin' up the club, rollin' up the work

Pourin' up the Bud, blowin' up the drug

Leavin' out the back, damn this work

Haven't thrown a punch in about five years

Last time I did I broke my wrist

On my friend Glen's butt

Damn, that sucked

Had to jerk off with the left hand

(But you learned your lesson!)

Ain't nobody in my category

I'm inventive with I'm with it like it's Scattergories

I was over-doubted, now I'm overcrowded

But I'm extroverted, don't you ever doubt it

Gotta lot of money, but I never count it

Competition fun, but they ain't never 'bout it

I was searching for it but I never found it

Like an Oreo up in a power outage

(Let's go!)

[Brain:]

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Hey, could I be Jesus? (no way, no way, no way)

Hey, could I be Jesus?

Wait, could I be Jesus?

Holy like Jesus

I'm like the cross

Oh, man

Hope I'm not Jesus

But I also wanna get sucked

Brain

Dave lyrics - Lil Dicky

 Sometimes I feel like people only see me as this larger than life icon but I'm just a normal guy

Hi (Hello), I'm Dave

You might know me as Lil Dicky

But there's a lot more to me

Don't you wanna know who I am? (Not Really)

Do you wanna meet the guy behind the guy?

Do you wanna know what the industry's like?

What a strange life I have

Got me tripping like woah woah

"Dave ,you're a rapper?" Oh no

Bowel movements looking like Dippin' Dots

Probably 'cause I don't eat fruits and vegetables

Approached by aggressive white men on the regular

I gotta record with a neck pillow on my neck 'cause the organomics of my desk ain't right

My nose gets stuffed every night

I'm figgity, I'm figgity I twitch

I'm figgity, I'm v neurotic

Yes I know that I'm a rapper at the end of the day

But I think it's time you knew me by my government name

Hi, I'm Dave (I'm Lil Dicky)

Hi, I'm Dave (Who's Dave?)

Hi, I'm Dave (Please watch, please)

I'm Lil Dicky, no shut up, I am Dave

(Please watch)

Earth lyrics - Lil Dicky

 [Lil Dicky:]

What up, world? It's your boy, just one of the guys down here. Well, I could be more specific. Uh, I'm a human, and I just wanted to, you know, for the sake of all of us earthlings out there, just wanted to say:

[Chorus:]

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

[Justin Bieber:]

Hi, I'm a baboon

I'm like a man, just less advanced and my anus is huge

[Ariana Grande:]

Hey, I'm a zebra

No one knows what I do, but I look pretty cool

Am I white or black?

[Halsey:]

I'm a lion cub, and I'm always getting licked (Meow!)

[Zac Brown:]

How's it going? I'm a cow (Moo!)

You drink milk from my tits (Moo)

[Brendon Urie:]

I'm a fat, fucking pig

[Hailee Steinfeld:]

I'm a common fungus

[Wiz Khalifa:]

I'm a disgruntled skunk, shoot you out my butthole

[Snoop Dogg:]

I'm a marijuana plant, I can get you fucked up

[Kevin Hart:]

And I'm Kanye West

[Chorus:]

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

We love the Earth

[Adam Levine:]

Ba-dum-da-dum-dum, ba-dum-da-di

We are the vultures, feed on the dead

[Shawn Mendes:]

We're just some rhinos, horny as heck

[Charlie Puth:]

I'm just a giraffe, what's with this neck?

[Sia:]

Hippity-hop, I'm a kangaroo

I hop all day, up and down with you

[Miley Cyrus:]

I'm an elephant, I got junk in my trunk

[Lil Jon:]

What the fuck? I'm a clam!

[Rita Ora:]

I'm a wolf. Howl!

[Miguel:]

I'm a squirrel, lookin' for my next nut

[Katy Perry:]

And I'm a pony, just a freak horse, heh-heh-heh

But, uh, c'mon, get on (Yah)

Giddee-up, let's ride

[Lil Yachty:]

I'm HPV, don't let me in

[Ed Sheeran:]

I'm a koala and I sleep all the time

So what? It's cute

[Meghan Trainor:]

We love you, India

[Joel Embiid:]

We love you, Africa

[Tory Lanez:]

We love the Chinese

[Lil Dicky:]

We forgive you, Germany

[Chorus:]

Earth, it is our planet (It's our planet)

We love the Earth (We love the Earth), it is our home (Home)

We love the Earth, it is our planet (It is our planet)

We love the Earth, it is our home

We love the Earth

[Lil Dicky:]

I'm a man (Hello?)

Can you hear me? (Anyone out there? Hello?)

I've trudged the Earth for so damn long

And still don't know shit (What's going on?)

I hope it's not a simulation (Huh)

Give each other names like Ahmed and Pedro

And, yeah, we like to wear clothes, girls still look beautiful

And it covers up our human dick (Woo), eat a lot of tuna fish

But these days, it's like we don't know how to act

All these shootings, pollution, we under attack on ourselves

Like, let's all just chill (Hey), respect what we built (Hey)

Like look at the Internet! It's cracking as hell

Fellas, don't you love to cum when you have sex? (Ayy)

And I heard women orgasms are better than a dick's (Uh)

So what we got this land for? What we gotta stand for?

Love, and we love the Earth (The Earth)

[Ariana Grande:]

Oh, yeah, baby, I love the Earth

I love this planet

[Lil Dicky:]

Hey, Russia, we're cool

Hey, Asia, all of you, c'mon

Every one of you from the plains to the Sahara

Let's come together and live

[Choir:]

Hum-dum-dum-dae-dum, hum-dum-dum-dae-dum

[PSY:]

우-우-우리는 지구를 사랑해요

[Bad Bunny:]

Amamos la tierra

[Kris Wu:]

我们爱地球

[Lil Dicky:]

(We love you, we love you)

C'mon everybody, I know we're not all the same

But we're living on the same Earth

(We love you, we love you)

[Ariana Grande:]

Have you ever been to Earth?

[Lil Dicky:]

Everyone who's listening has been to Earth, Ariana

(We love you, we love you)

We're not making music for aliens here

[Justin Bieber:]

Are we gonna die?

[Lil Dicky:]

You know what, Bieber? We might die

(We love you, we love you)

I'm not gonna lie to you

I mean, there's so many people out there who don't think global warming's a real thing. You know? We gotta save this planet. We're being stupid

[Ariana Grande:]

Unless we get our shit together now

[Music Video version:]

[Lil Dicky:]

Guys, everybody look into whatever the fuck Leonardo DiCaprio is always pushing, 'cause I feel like that guy knows more about... the Earth and how we're fuckin' it up than... anybody!

If the aliens did come, we should definitely send Leo as our guy, our rep

In fact, the profits that come along with the streams and the sale of this song are going right into the Earth

Let's raise some money for charity

Any words, Leo?

[Leonardo DiCaprio:]

This might be my favorite song ever

It's awesome

[Lil Dicky:]

Wow

Thanks, Leo

[Backstreet Boys:]

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

We love the Earth, it is our planet

We love the Earth, it is our home

(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! Woo, hoo, hoo!)

[Lil Dicky:]

(Guys, thank you so much)

Freaky Friday lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. Chris Brown)

 [Chris Brown:]

Lil Dicky, ooh

Mustard on the beat, ho

I woke up Chris Breezy, oh my god I'm the man (oh shit)

I'm so fly and I can dance (whoa, whoa shit)

There's tattoos on my neck (oh, oh)

I just FaceTimed Kanye (blip, blip)

I told him I'm his biggest fan yeah (yeah)

Got all these hoes in my DM (yeah, I do, hold up)

Holy shit, I got a kid (oh!)

Oh, I can sing so well

Wonder if I can say the n-word (wait for real?)

Wait, can I really say the n-word?

What up, my nigga? (woo)

What up, my nigga? Big ups, my nigga

We up, my nigga, you pussy ass nigga

Man, fuck y'all niggas, 'cause I'm that nigga

Nigga, nigga, nigga, I'm that nigga

I woke up in Chris Brown's body (oh yeah)

Somehow this shit turned into Freaky Friday

But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways (oh yeah, oh yeah)

I can't believe that it's freaky Friday

Yeah it's Freaky Friday

I'm in Chris Brown's body

I drive his Ferrari and I'm light-skinned black

[Lil Dicky:]

(Ring ring, what the fuck)

I woke up and I'm Lil Dicky (Lil Dicky)

(Ugh, what the fuck)

This shit is real weak

How his dick staying perched up on his balls like that?

Walking down the street and ain't nobody know my name (whoa)

Ain't no paparazzi flashing pictures, this is great (whoa)

Ain't nobody judging 'cause I'm black or my controversial past

I'ma go and see a movie and relax (woo, let's go)

Ayy, I'm a Blood but I can finally wear blue (cool)

Why's his momma calling all the time?

Leave me the fuck alone, bitch

Wait, if I'm in Dicky's body, Breezy is who?

Hope my daughter's in school

Fuck, if I was Chris Brown, where would I be?

What would I do?

[Chris Brown:]

I woke up in Chris Brown's body (oh yeah)

Somehow this shit turned into Freaky Friday

But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways (oh yeah, oh yeah)

I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday

Yeah it's Freaky Friday

I'm in Chris Brown's body

I look at my soft dick with delight, it's my dream dick

[Lil Dicky:]

If I was Lil Dicky in my body, where would I be?

I'm tryna find myself like an introspective monk

[Chris Brown:]

I'm balling on the court, oh my god I can dunk

Snap a flick of my junk

[Lil Dicky:]

My dick is trending on Twitter, fuck

Now I'm at the club, I talked my way into getting in

I look up in the VIP, my goodness there I am

I signal to him to let me in but he won't let me in

[Chris Brown:]

I don't know who that is

[Lil Dicky:]

Wait, who the fuck he think he is?

Took a glass bottle, shatter it on the bouncer's head (woo)

Walked up to that motherfucker

[Chris Brown:]

Wait, think it through for a sec

If you hurting me then you only hurting yourself

[Lil Dicky:]

But wait, I love myself

[Chris Brown:]

That was the key, now we're switching back

I woke up in Chris Brown's body (oh yeah)

Somehow this shit turned into Freaky Friday

But we got no choice but to turn this bitch sideways (oh yeah, oh yeah)

I can't believe that it's Freaky Friday

[Lil Dicky:]

Wait what the fuck?

[Ed Sheeran:]

And now I'm in Ed Sheeran's body

It's way less cool than being Chris Brown was

[Lil Dicky:]

What the fuck again?

[DJ Khaled:]

I'm DJ Khaled! Why am I yelling?

[Kendall Jenner:]

Huh, I'm Kendall Jenner

I got a vagina, I'm gonna explore that right now (woo)

Holy shit, I got a vagina (uh), I'm gonna learn

I'm gonna understand the inner workings of a woman

Fruits Or Vegetables lyrics - Lil Dicky

 I don't eat fruit or vegetables

I eat the pussy and other stuff

I don't eat fruit or vegetables

No fruits or vegetable, or vegetable

No fruits or vegetable

Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can't do?

I would eat your mama's pussy but I won't eat no fruit

No fruits or vegetable

No fruits or vegetable

I am a professional of soaking grown up genitals

Women look at me and know for sure they heterosexual

They book me at the festivals, the crowds been going testicles

I'm still a kid, look at my dick

But I make these hits that'll shape your kiss

If I shake my hips, they'll display their tits

It is weird yet lit, what a chain of events

I been fucking, I ate her ass

She came, I gasped, I win again

Won't make my bed, my mom got pissed

She said "don't rap"

Guess what? I did

Oh yeah, all my haters hands up on they heads

I'm abusing substances with guys in the NFL

I just stole a Perrier from Kodak Black from his dressing room

While he was on stage, I was thirsty, back up off me

This is just hip hop, but my shit pop

I wear flip-flops to my biz ops

Ain't no wrist watch, pretty women all up on my arm

I don't think I need to get more charm

Hearsay lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Coming live from the stash house

Taking all of the trash out

High ceiling like Shaq's house

Every time that I rap now

They all want me to pay dues

Trap here like escape rooms

Heating up like it's late June

Stop believing the fake news (huh, huh)

Ain't no doubt about it, my dick getting crowded

Why they do me foul now?

Fuck it, bucket, count it (and one, uh)

They're calling me soft, they're not really wrong

I'm rocking velour (huh)

You not on a boat, well that doesn't matter

We going for shore

No jewelry on me, they took it off me like I'm Ben Baller

They got me up in court, I'm with the set like Travis Barker

Ain't no capping with this paper like a Magic Marker

They can't jack it, I'm a fire starter

Wait, wait, wait

Give me that velour outfit, nigga

Sure, anything

Gimme your shoes too, bruh

Please, don't hurt me. I'll do fucking anything

We gon' tie you up, bruh

Say less

In and out the back quick

They cannot see me like I'm backlit

Everybody told me I was batshit

Now they looking past like a has-been

Stay up in the back like an ad-lib

They ain't really cracking like a ChapStick lip

They don't wanna see the lil' dick kid growing any bigger than he is

But I swing big, don't I?

Smoking marijuana

I want to sit down and just chop it up, Benihana

I'm cold-blooded with this shit, I'm coming like iguana

They should never really judge us for this shit, Your Honor

That would be

H-E-A-Rsay

Why, that's hearsay

Mobbing with the gang

If you hating then it's fear-based

You don't know a thing 'bout us baby, that is clear as day

I'm just with my friends smoking marijuana

H-E-A-Rsay

Why, that's hearsay

Mobbing with the gang

If you hating then it's fear-based

You don't know a thing 'bout us baby, that is clear as day

I'm just with my friends smoking marijuana

Heaven Sent lyrics - Lil Dicky

 Bring the sheep to the man, I do everything I can

Got a million on the gram, follow me or you'll be damned

North side, east side, Jesus Christ

Way, way, way, way, way up in this bitch

Count the days, it's almost here

Talkin' cray, but you convinced (wait)

Heaven sent, I am nothing like the present men

Wasn't fucking with the president

This world got way too sensitive

It's so evident we let the devil in

I'm not a reverend, I'm irreverent

Then stun 'em colder than the revenant

I put the effort in to be a better man, let 'em in

I be walking 'round the town, talking what I'm 'bout

Walking all around, drawing all the crowds

Garnering the clout, calling all 'em out

Following devout, volleying the doubt

Swallowing it down, hollowing 'em out

They know not what they do (wait)

They're tryna box in a Jew? (wait)

PT with the crack, had to come back

Got a li'l bread tucked down

Made a lotta more bread, now the gang getting fed

Bring a lunch bag, all of my friends started poppin' in advance

All the seeds turn to plants

Full circle like a Hellcat

You can hear the chants, everybody had a chance

Everybody tryna dance when I pull up with the jams

Everybody going ham, young man got a plan

They don't even understand

Honestly lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

I gotta be, everything, that I can be

I gotta do this thing, honestly

Why can't I do it all, honestly

I bet I shock 'em when I drop

I know they probably think I'm washed

I'm kettle cooking with the chip

It's on my shoulders 'til we win

I'm getting older by the minute, yeah

I really had it up to here

They always lookin' like they're winging it

I've been planning every meal, mm

Got me sippin' on this beer, ooh

Ánd I don't even fuck with beer, no

I need some water and ideas, yeah

I gotta start to make it clear, uh

I'm kinda peeping all the fallacy

I'm powered by the people doubting

I had to eat it like a ton of calories

And the analogy is that I'm glowing up

But I've been carrying this weight

Fuck my old shit, all of it sucks

Piss on them records, I shit on them records

I thank everybody who saw the potential in me

But I still had to get it inevitably

If I could I would sit down and conversate with every hater and try to debate them

I know its subjective but it's my objective to do it so well that it's not

I Ate Her Ass lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

I'm still a kid

Look at my dick

But I made these hits

That'll shape your kids

If I shake my hips

They'll display their tits

It is weird, yet lit

What a chain of events

I've been fuckin

I ate her ass

She came, I gasped

I went again

Won't make my bed

My Mom got pissed

She said, "don't rap"

Guess what? I did

Oh yeah

All my haters hands up on their heads

I'm abusin substances with guys in the NFL

I just stole a Perrier from Kodak Black

From his dressing room

While he was on stage

I was thirsty, back up off me

This is just hip hop

But my shit pop

I wear flip flops

To my biz ops

Ain't no wristwatch

Pretty women all up on my arm

I don't think I need to make more charm

I Got A Song With Drake lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Me

Drake

On one song

I did it

How did I do it?

I did it (Oh)

I got a song with Drake (Woah)

I got a song with Drake (Woah)

I got a song with Drake (Wow)

I did it, I did it

Me, Drake (Yes)

Same song

Spotify credits

Billboards

Everything

I did it (Woo)

I've done it

How did I do it?

I got a song with Drake (Yes)

I got a song with Drake (Oh my god)

I got a song with Drake

I got a song with Drake (Hey, woah)

Look at the chart (Look at the chart)

Wait till its part (Just wait)

It'll be like Drake (Drake)

They will try to hate (Ha)

But they'll know it's great (Yo)

Watch how it does in the club (Great)

Drizzy, tell em what's up

It's Drake

I Met A Girl (Robyn's Song) lyrics - Lil Dicky

 I met a girl

Thank God

I met a girl

Oh my

She makes me feel alive

She makes me need a life

I met a girl

Thank God

How did I get all of this?

Yet still end up like this

All alone, what'd I miss?

So many dates even dating got dated

I let her go too soon

I was scared of you

And now I'm just sad at you

All of these stones that I turned

I forgot who my rock was

Batman and Robyn

It's comical how I'll keep running from problems

I don't act my age at all

I don't change at all

But I'm great, ask em' all

I need somebody right now

But I don't think she'll hear me out

And my time is running out

I met a girl

Thank God

I met a girl

Oh my

She makes me feel alive

She makes me need a life

I met a girl

Thank God

Jail lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

[Concert Scene:]

On stage rapping, (oh)

Ain't shit to me, I'm a rapper

That's what I do (hey)

Young Dave snappin (woo)

The crowd seem to fuck with me and I like them, too

Ordinarily I might joke around on the stage (ya)

Funny motherfucker, class clown, 12th grade

Sometimes I might overstep my boundaries (hm)

Do some weird shit, believe in the art of the joke (ya)

In this case, I was like

Ay, y'all a great crowd

So as a reward, do you wanna see my dick?

Crowd went wild, now I'm kinda torn

Mid-show soft dick, is my worst soft dick

I'm a moron (show your dick, show your dick)

Whole crowd chants (shit)

I'm like, I can't, but what about nuts? (yeah)

People erupt, whipped out the nuts, cheers

[Dressing Room Scene:]

Off stage, head up to the dressing room

Five cops waiting in my dressing room

Goddamn, dude, you blowing up

Look at how they beefing up the security (hey)

I was like, Offices, I'll be okay (ya)

One cop said, "Sir, you're under arrest" (ha)

I laughed in jest, assumed he was just showing off for his cop friends

Opened some Chex Mix

Sir, I'm gonna need you to put on these cuffs

I'm like, "What?"

Sir, you just exposed yourself

At an all-ages show nonentheless

Wait, you talking 'bout showing nuts? (Sir)

That's like a common joke

You never pull out a ball with your friends or... (Sir)

Never?

Sir, please put on these cuffs

Wait, stop, no, this is actually happening? (Sir)

Wait, this is unfair (Sir!)

I'm sorry, I swear! (Sir!)

Please hear my out...

Sir, you're going to jail

I'm like, "Jail?" (I'm like jail)

He like, Yeah!

I'm like, "Jail?" (I'm like jail)

Yeah!

[Court Scene:]

Booked, bail

Pay it, scared (this is crazy)

Months pass, trial (real trial)

45 parents press charges (oh)

I got a DUI in college (stupid)

This was not my first offense (oh, my God)

Children were crying on the stand (stand)

Probably the dorks of their class (you're a loser)

Now it's the day of my reckoning

They 'bout to give me my sentencing

Can't even breathe and I'm trembling

The jury arrived at a verdict (guilty!)

I thought I misheard it (guilty!)

Mama Burd going berserk (my son!)

Wait, you said two years, Your Honor? (yes)

[Jail Arrival Scene:]

On the bus to Tuckawala

They got me chained to Roberto

Tat on his face he was fidgety

Shook as can be as we pullin' in (hm)

They take my picture, unchain me

They give me my state I.D. (thanks)

Then they took me to a room

And told me to "spread your cheeks" (ewww...)

I was like, "Like this?" (like this?)

They like, "Yeah, but rake your nuts"

Rake... rake my nuts?

Like pull 'em up?

Yes

Oh, okay

They made me squat and cough (ah... ahh...)

Standard procedure, I'm wid it (it's cool)

After I finished, I had a minute with the guard

Say to him, "Sir, I know this is bizarre

But the whole rape thing, is it, like, real?

Is it actually a thing in Jail? or...?"

He like, "Yeah"

I'm like, "Yeah? (it really happens?)

He like, "Yeah" (isn't it your job to protect people?)

[Cell Arrival Scene:]

Getting walked to my cell (we got a white boy)

Walking through jail (wooo wooo wooo, woo yeah!)

Shit is like hell (you dead, you dead)

It's just like the movies (gettin' fucked!)

Screaming and hollering, hooting (fresh meat!)

A black guy said, "I'll break your back!" (on your back now!)

Hispanic guy ask, "What that mouth like?" (imma need that)

A neo-Nazi just smiles... (hmmmm)

We get to my... cell

Got a cellmate named Raheem (hi, I'm Dave!)

Good dude, wonder why he in (I'm Raheem)

Then he asked me what I even did (what'd you do?)

I explained the whole thing, (yeah)

Was performing, (yeah)

Showed my nuts, (huh?)

Totally innocent, like...

Well, I did it, but it was an innocent act

It's not a big deal

Now I'm here in Tuckawala for two years for exposing myself to minors

"Whoa, whoa, you a pedophile?" Raheem said

No, I'm not a pedophile, you just heard the story

Okay, okay, okay, you cannot let anyone know this

Why? It's not a big...

If they find out, then it's over

Over?

You raped, dead, maybe...

Raped dead?

Let's just think of solutions instead

Raped dead?

In here there's the Blacks and the Mexicans

Well, what about those white supremacists? (heh)

They see that you're Jewish it's evident (it's evident? what does...)

The Blacks and the Mexicans don't have inherent hatred for you (true)

You gotta pick one of them for protection (who?)

The Blacks or the Mexicans? (yes)

Uh, I mean, I guess

I got Blacks, right? Blacks

Okay

I just don't know much about Mexicans (I hear you)

Like, at home I would hang out with Blacks (go with blacks then...)

Well, how do they know I'm with Blacks?

Like... how do I refer to it?

Do I say "Blacks"? (you won't have to say...)

I feel like it'd be weird

If I said, "I'm with the blacks" (it's not like that)

How is it referred to?

Don't worry, I'll make sure that everyone knows you're with us

[Recreation Scene:]

Three o'clock rec ball

Pretty solid courts, real good runs

Watched on the sidelines, didn't try to run

Calling for next would be calling for death

Real good black dude roll his ankle (ewww...)

Mexican guy on the side says, "ay, carambo"

Now there's a squad, thats only got four players

And in jail the other team picks his replacement

They look around and my heart started racing

One guy is beelining straight up at David

Cause they probably think I'm a horrible player

They like, "All right, take this white, skinny bitch"

Little did they know I'm a bad motherfucker on the court

First play hit 'em with the cross-up fake (swoosh)

Next play, wide open three, like... wet (swoosh)

The yard taking notice, (yo)

I take a charge. but they don't even notice (bro)

Don't leave him open, his jumper is potent (ha)

Pat on the back

Feel like a black

Dap, dap, dap

[Exposed Scene:]

All the sudden, a Mexican guy

Walks on the court and says

Stop the game, stop the game, stop the game

Gets in my face

Says, "You know what he did?"

Everyone's frozen in place

You know what he did? (what'd he do? what'd he do?)

He raped some kids

Whoa, whoa, whoa, not true! I said

He said, "One was my niece!"

Hold on, I can explain, I'm a rapper, I was on stage (you ain't no motherfuckin' rapper)

Yes, I am (we gon' rape you)

No, I am a rapper

I'll spit, you want me to spit?

I'll fucking spit! I'll...

You 'bout to get fucked, pendejo!

Listen, my dick sucks, my dick sucks

Uh..., that's just a hook

Remember the name, Don Quixote

That's the guy that will fuck you later

Okay, chismoso? (hahaha)

Then he walked away

I tried to play it cool, I'm like, "Back to the game"

Punched in the back, (ah)

Thrown off the court

I'm like, "I'm with the Blacks!" (that made it worse)

Smack! smack! smack!

I'm like, "I didn't rape no kids, I just showed my sack

You never did that, like, with your friends?" (ain't fuck nah, pussy)

It was just a joke!

I believe in the art of the joke (that don't sound very funny)

Yeah, but you should've seen it, it worked

They laughed, the joke was successful

They whipped my ass, (pa pa)

Now I'm not with the Blacks (you ain't black)

[Cell Scene:]

Lick my wounds in my cell, (eeehhuuu)

Tell Raheem all the facts (this guy walked on the court...)

He like, Oh, no, Don Quiote?" (yeah)

That's the most dangerous Mexican (really?)

And now all the Blacks not potecting you

Yeah, no shit, and by the way

They didn't take kindly to me saying I was with the Blacks

Well, now... (offft)

Now everyone's got the green light (green light?)

I wish I could make it be right (Raheem...)

You're definately gonna get raped (raped dead?)

If I were you, I'd learn to fight

I can't fight, I'd lose every fight

Instead of fighting back

What if I offer, like, willing head?

Willing head?

I'm like, "Yeah"

Willing head?

Yeah

Think about it

Nobody wants to fight (that's not true)

I would much rather give consensual head

Than get fucked up my ass and die

Well, it's not gon' be an option like that

No, no, hear me out

What if one day up in the caf I stuck a paper on the wall? (a paper?)

Yeah, a sign-up sheet (a sign-up sheet?)

Yeah, with time slots (what... time slots?)

Yeah, for head

You know, if you, if you don't rape me

I'll give you the best head you'll ever get in jail

And I'll be such a joy, so pleasant

What a great companion I could be (I don't think...)

This is so smart (uh...)

Yeah! uh...

Then word would get around about the head

And everybody woud start to realize

The second I'm raped, that the head off the table

Better than anal

The brothers would kill for this shit, Cain and Abel

You're not gonna have the option like that, cuh

It's... it's cool when you say "cuh"

Like cuz, but you... "cuh"

Where you from, Raheem?

Man, I gotta nap

Oh, when you wake, then

[Cafeteria Scene:]

Caf, tuna fish (ugh)

Actually surprised because this shit fire, (hmm)

Usually I'm real picky with my tuna type

Only like my mom's and Subway's

Did you guys know

That Subway's the biggest chain in the world, over McDonalds?

No one responded

Tap Raheem's shoulder, I said

"Did you know that, Raheem?" (uhh)

He like, "What?"

That Subway's the biggest chain?

Bigger than McDonald's (no)

[Don Quixote Scene:]

Waking back to me cell, (aye)

Just me and the guard, I feel greasy (yeah)

All the sudden he bail (what the fuck)

Then as I turned the corner, I saw Don Quixote (fuck)

Fuck, this is it, oh, my God

Dave, you're so raped (fuck)

Thought of my options, he started approaching (ohh)

I'm like, "Quixote, relax, I'm open to it"

Come here

Kissed on his neck

Licked on his ears

Took off his shirt

Kissed on his stomach, his chest is... so bulbous

But I'm playing my part (yeah)

He fallin' hard, (yeah)

I got his heart (yeah)

I get down to my knees, aye

Tease, aye

Whipped out the dick (oh, my God, so big, ah...)

Veins, everywhere, so many veins

Off-colored dick

Darker than I expected

I realized in that moment

I've never seen a Mexicano's dick before

Spit on the dick (pusst)

His guard fallen

Cocked his head back real slow

And then said, "Ay, carambo"

Plan coming to fruition

I open wide, put the tip in

And I close my eyes, and pray to God and...

Bit off his dick (ay, carambo)

Spit out his dick (ugh!)

He fell to his knees...

John's Gone lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Maybe John's a dove

Maybe he's a cow

Maybe he's a piece of soil or a molecule

Reincarnation, some things would be cooler

Than other things

What would John wanna be?

He'd be me I think

Is he in me now?

Kinda feel like that he might be

But it might be the adrenaline

I don't know what his parents want me to do

This is challenging

But I think John would want me to be me

Because he liked me

He has the info

That we all want

But we can't have

I know your sad

I know it sucks

But just be glad

He knows universal truths

John's gone

Menage lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

I've never had a menage, I'd rather get a fiancé

Mom up my ass like a prostate, she thinking forward like Blockchain

But I'm sitting thinking 'bout the fourth grade

I was hitting on the Macarena

Visualising all the packed arenas

I ain't have shit on my hands except Cheetos

That was the top, back when Dwayne was The Rock

Back when jerkin' off used to be the motivation

I would come home racing tryna' beat my momma to my crib

Get naked then I'll go on Maxim.com for the pictures

Put the shower on while I'm sticking the printouts to the shower wall using steam

Then I put the shower head up on the massage setting

What the fuck was that, how was I...

Mountain Dew lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Hi. Hello. How's it going?

You guys are here for the Mountain Dew pitch, right?

You can sit. I figured it all out

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew

Drink, chug, do the dew, ah, everyone!

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew

Mountain Dew

What would you do to do what you want?

It's done

Did you have a good time listening to everybody's silly ideas about soda?

Aww, man, party's over, this is the closer

Let me just demonstrate this further

Just imagine there's a commercial, and there's a rapper about your work

And he's all like...

Gema, would you like a Mountain Dew?

Stef, would you like a Mountain Dew?

Jeff, would you like a Mountain Dew?

Steve, I don't know about you. I'm just kidding

But, Jeff, look at the can, look at me dance, look at the man, Jeff!

I'm looking pretty on brand, they got supply, boy this is a man, Jeff!

Uh

The kids will post this on the gram, tag all their friends

By the end of the night, they'll be like, sprite who?

We make up a dance

Man, where does it end?

Really gonna try to overthink it. It's a motherfucking drink. It's put in the can

Great! Done!

By the way, hi, I'm Dave

While I have your attention, I sit over there in the cube in the pit

I'm a genius, I should probably get more opps

Underutilized as fuck, but I guess today it stops, maybe not

It depends if management can open their eyes a little

I'm just messing, Steven, but clearly I'm a leader of thought, no?

Look what I've done

OK. I'm done

Studio Session Freestyle lyrics - Lil Dicky

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

Allow me to tell y'all what I'm 'bout

Like a dinner you got reservations but I'm 'bout to eat up all the doubt

Hey come on, I'm a flower let me sprout

Looking like I'm straight out of Comic-Con, scrawny don

Hungry Ramadan, my momma wrong

She don't think I got a job but I'm a make great cheese like Parmesan

I'm hardly on, but the rent paid cause you know that pussy flow good I menstruate

If we got off on the wrong foot like Bengay it's because I'm higher than a bitch, men's pay

Rappers thinking that they hot, blow your nose motherfuckers it's snot

I ain't never fought a man in my life

I have only slept with 4 different girls

Still you can get it though, get every crevice though

I'll come on some chicken like fresh mozzarella

Hella good ebonics, I think like a comic, my females got bombs on they body like they were Jihadists

And my libido is scary like Magic Johnson near mosquitos, hmm

I'm tactical, I'm back and forth, from acting dull to rapping for you, attracting lore in the faction, forming the tracks record it it's about to put me on the racks like a fashion store

I just want a girl let me hit it on a work day, I don't think my dick has grown at all since the first grade

Imma get the cake with my gifts like a birthday

Separate it with my lines like two lanes

I don't want a Grammy bro, I've got two and their fairly old

Stay with more bars than a graph I'm on top of the class, hop in the bath with a bad little lady with ass

I'm making her laugh, the neck like a baby giraffe

Shaking it fast, making it last, haters are mad saying I'm bad

It's like an eighth grader training a class, it's crazy and blasphemous

I'm about to break 'em in half, I'm making my path

I'm waiting on my break like a cast

Somebody get ya boy a gig he got drive and flash, like a flashdrive

Sway In The Morning 2019 Freestyle lyrics - Lil Dicky

 Lil ol' dick and I'm back in this bitch

I know y'all know, when I rap, what it is

All facts, don't fib, got a gang full of hits

In touch with the kids like a pedo, ugh

I'ma jam like Shaq, I'ma bang when I wish

Up in this bitch like a fetus

Ain't no timelines when you timeless

Hold up, MJ '96

Meaning I'm back on my bullshit

You know I come hard like a full dick

Suburban and white –whip

Stay with the bread like some cool whip though

Look how it spread, cool whip flow

I can make 'em write with an IG live

And my girl got bombs on her bod, jihad

And between her legs is lookin' right, hypotenuse

Ugh, break it all down

Hold up, Sway, let me bring it all down

Been out here, citizenship

Look how I got everybody tuned in right now

They'd probably watch this for a hour

Tracy, I brought you flowers

Accident

Gas out the ass like flatulence

I was slept on like mattresses

I got my head right, aspirin

I'm cashin' in, I'm cashin' in

I'm not about to hold a paper and display it like a thumbtack

No touchback, they about to run this back

And if you ever met me, you'd root me for me

Sharp shit comin' out my dome, I'm a unicorn

Pardon my breath

Only Percocet I fuck with is breasts

Elevator kissin' hoes at the Ritz

Freaky Friday, I get in 'em like Chris, wait

Sway, pass me the rock

Get it, post, jab, up fake, pump

Jump and then I'm –two shots at the line

I got em –like a mime

Odell Beckham, might cut on a dime

Glow in the dark, see me any time

I used to put the Xbox controller on my dick

And let it vibrate, how I jerked off as a child

Came a long way

Now I'm like "Ey, girl. You. Me. Fuck?"

And that shit work, hey

Her brother lookin' at me like, "Hey, fuck her bro!"

Sway! Her brother lookin' at me like, "Hey, fuck her bro!"

I'm like Kareem Abdul, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

These hooks got me scorin', see me comin' from afar

Rappin' in France, I never need an advance

I'm switching it up like I'm trans

Although I'm the Trojan man, I'm eating the pussy like cervical cancer

I know where I'm going shit but if my GPS died

I'd sleep in my sedan

I can't do the Shmurda dance

I get caught up, lookin' awkward, you know?

Sometimes I'll catch it for a minute

OJ with it, y'all wonder how I did it

My mom hit me once, she's lucky I didn't sue

But I'll stomp y'all out like Ndamukong Suh

All the shoe brands wanted me to sign

I remember they thought I was Lonely Island

There will not be another like me

I could go viral if I put out a snippet

I'm sick like a cold and you really could get it

I always be playin', just like I'm embedded

I got a leg up like ottomans, though

My television show is coming but that is irrelevant

Right now I'm wrappin like presents get

How did I get here?

I got big rappin like Diddy, I'm prevalent

Hold up let me find the melody

All my fans are getting mad at me

They just wanna hear me spazzin' out

But I just had to put a couple smashes out

How is this shit a pop star?

Rap name is a dick joke

How did he make it that far?

Good pussy at the crib like a housecat

They waitin' on my buzz like the outback

In-and-out with the bag like I make tea

When I do shopping sprees

Eyebrows long like AD

Girls get wet like Navy

Pull up like I'm Steph and she'll cream

Players in the NBA text me

If I want a Diet Coke, someone brings me Diet Coke

All my live shows nuts, like I expose testicles

Hold up, wait, Let me ad-lib my shit. (Oh yeah yeah)

Look at my penmanship (I write this)

I'm a Carl's Jr. model (For real)

Just on the side like soccer moms

I could have sold you stock and bonds

Happened so fast like Ramadan, the Autobahn

DeSean been runnin' down the bomb from Carson's arm

I'm off the farm, I'm on the court

The jumbotron is on the boy

They playin' my song, LeBron is noddin'

Am I James Worthy?

Look at my bars, I made off like Bernie, ooh!

Oh, we having fun

Girls see me and start blushing just because I'm around

I used to always get a boner at my physical, Sway

If this is cultural appropriation, what can I say?

What would you have me do? You know I gotta rap

But the times now are scary, hold up, wait, take a step back

Dave, think about this shit

Internet is a permanent place, this is gonna live forever

Uh, breathe, analyze, think about everything

I'm such an idiot!

I used to cover R. Kelly songs at my shows without even knowing it was problematic

I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny

What I do?

Act more Jewishly

C'mon Sway, write my eulogy

Am I lookin' like I need to get a job?

Or lookin' like I need a bodyguard?

I play tennis with Leonardo

How y'all train on track like cargo

I go dumb, don't dumb it up

Don't fuck on planes, but I'm coming up

Add up my views to sum it up

I was just on Sportscenter, dun-dun-dun

I think this is good, I've done enough

My haters look like mad like, "Son of a-"

Now let me go and finish up my album

Jussie Smollett, you know I'ma fuck it up

And I'm out

And I'm gone

And I leave

And I'm out

And I'm gone

And I've gotta catch a flight

Thank you all for having me

Sway In The Morning Freestyle lyrics - Lil Dicky

 I like to play it cool like I'm not that

On the low who'd assume that I got that?

I don't know but the dude with the tall frappe

Looking aloof, being all that

Even Babe Ruth wouldn't call that

I don't even sweat it tho

They be hesitant as if my credit low

But the shit will hit em quicker then an edible

I'm bout to run for Senate ho

You won't even centerfold

Been on top of cheese I ain't talkin' 'bout oregano

I'm talkin' about yo cheddar homie

I hit a college and I'm fucked like I'm pledging a frat

They bout to silhouette up my nuts on American flags

Estoy contento, I'm muy estupendo

Everybody know the cat like a dope meme

I got em buzzin' on the crack like a dope fiend

They saw em' come up with a Mac ya I'm so Steve

Now a days bitches tryin' crack got em od-ing

How them hoes wanna get it with L

They know its cold enough to charge like a letterman sale

If they gonna stand behind the bars I'm in federal jail

I'm goin' far like a general mail

Sway I got the fellas sayin what up

The tape what up

Same muhfucka playing with the steak cut up

I'm great shut up

The flow ain't no debate, just us

I'm out of shape, but I'm straight to fuck

You know I got a chicken in the condo

I'm was sick of getting off beat she a bongo

She playing with the hard D, Rondo

Go inside her all sweet like a Strongbow

How imma do?

I got your X comin' next like a W do

I gotta flex I'm the best now I'm being direct

I'm unimpressed by these bitches that I see in the press

I kinda of vexxed by the trash like I'm cleanin' the mess

Cuz they as real when they rap as a chias a pet

Old news stocks plummet, mens leg hair, they dont cut it

Forget about your era, Pat Summit

Best writtens, I'm trying to get a hundred bitches to fuck with the spittin religious like a couple of us marital Christians

Been official Dick Bevetta A livin

Betta' dig it like you bitches got a mill and a ditch

And I'm killin' this shit, I be kickin' like a villainous ninja

Gripping when I run it how the fuck I be slippin'

I be intimate with them hoes, she never flummoxed

Take chick's P, and smash, I call her hummus

And I be funny with this shit I'm just playing

Still nobody fuckin' with the kid I'm just sayin'

Got a chicken parm on a date, ya see

But I don't even know the broad she just gratin the cheese

I don't even got a job I just blaze and free

They still give the boy bands 98 degrees

So come fuck with me

I got a couple hun'ed bitches doin' drugs with me

I got a couple dozen bitches tryin' to hug Dicky

And I got a couple bitches who be steady fucking me

Aye that's a good ass life

Only thing I got left, find a good as wife

But yo I gotta hit these hoes first, don't tell mom

In a year I'ma bend over Michelle Obama

I gotta do it while I'm hot

Tryna get blue in most states like Barack

I'm tryna show a boo the last name of the Rock

And put up on D til we owe J Watt

I never hit the scene

When I'm do I'm high n wasted

I'm fuckin' with them jeans

Love them bitches high-waisted

I run around your team

You a player but I'm Naismith

I command v, while you copy, I just paste it

Face it

Hotel got em puffin on da L

Going harder than some hail, y'ain't knew it

If everybody had to tell the truth, and you had to pick a dude spittin better than ya dude, can't do it, Sway talk to em

That's A Joke lyrics - Lil Dicky

 That's a Joke, that's a joke!

Ha, ha, ha, they getting roast

Ha, ha, ha, thats a joke, thats a joke! (Ha, ha)

Ha, ha, ha, what a joke

Ah, yea, yea, yea

Ah yea, yea, yea

Ay, these motherfuckers, they done lost me

Everything I'm doing lofty

I'm kinda wearing them like a softy

I got them grounded up like coffee

I had an...

'06 write it up, wildin out

Back in '06, I was talkin about graduation, now I'm on Wild N Out

Time has changed, got a lil grayness in my hair, I don't care

I gotta face it, I ain't never know how the money payment workin

There's a person, couple people prolly, I don't even bother

Big up to the father, he be so responsible and so logical

What am I even doing? Why am I rapping like this? I'm such a loser

I hate when rappers try to rap fast

Make the kids dance, women lick my anus

Think pieces on me, New York Times I made it

I'm fuckin' like a fable, doggy style why she kegels

Then we eat a couple bagels with the lox word to Jada

Gata told me "I'm the best" and guess what?

I'm the it guy for America

Don't mind me, I'm over here just redefining the alpha male

Don't mind me, I'm over here just getting all the opps (all the opps)

How they rappin'? I been workin' on my craft, makin it happen (work work)

We should make a bracket

Don't forget that I'm the comedian, but I'm better than the rappers?

We Good lyrics - Lil Dicky (feat. GaTa)

 (from "Dave" soundtrack)

They tried to tell me I was going cray

I been broke but had no breaks

They hear my dreams, they like "no way"

I don't change even when I'm in my own way

You good, bro?

I don't treat my friends right

Fuck it if I'm wrong, if my pen write

You good, bro

Always looking for an angle 'til I'm square though

I'm not always right over here, bro

You good, bro

We do the worst to become first

You know the deal, baby, love hurts

Just keep it real with me, no turf

All good homie, what the fuck are friends for?

Ay, ay, ay, ay

We good, so good that it hurts so bad

I'm sorry if it's making you mad

You mad, huh? Stop playing, huh

Ain't no doubt about it, we good

Now it's off the rip

Looking like a motherfucker, can't tell me shit

Looking like I'm bout to live my dream, fuck a hit

I'ma pack that motherfuckin' video with my motherfuckin' friends 'cause

We good, so good that it hurts so bad

I'm sorry if it's making you mad

You mad, huh? Stop playing, huh

Ain't no doubt about it, we good

We good, so good that it hurts so bad

I'm sorry if it's making you mad

You mad, huh? Stop playing, huh

Ain't no doubt about it, we