[Lil Dicky:]
Ey, ey
Damn
L tapped twice on some ass like grams
I just fucked
Now what I'm doing?
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)
I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
[Lil Dicky (The Girl) {Brain}:]
I'm like "Girl, that was great, talk about a connection
Am I alone in my praise, do you share my assessment?"
She like "Yeah, that was nice, I enjoyed myself"
"Great, yeah"
She like "Can you reach that shelf for my phone?
I'll take care the alarm"
I'm like "Oh, for the morning, like to sleep?"
She like "Yeah, we just had sex
What did you think?
I was just gonna fuck you and leave?"
"No, I... I hadn't thought that far ahead
But of course, can I get you a T-Shi-"
("Oh, can you not tickle my hair?
It's just a personal thing, it's not you")
"Okay, sorry for doing it"
(No, no, it's just a personal thing, it's not you)
"Okay cool, yeah
Uhhh, so you're from Minnesota?
Only thing I know is that it's colder
Break it down, how's it compare
To living in LA?"
("Well, I can't compare them they're so different
Y'know what I'm sayin?")
"Yeah, for sure"
She like "Apples to oranges"
"Yeah, well you can still compare them but I hear ya
What's the deal with your family? Got any siblings?"
She like ("I have a brother"), I'm like "Oh, what he do?"
She like ("He in the Army")
"Oh, true
Uhh, do you fuck with the war?"
She like ("Huh, what did you just say?")
"Huh, like just now?"
("Yeah... ")
"Do you fuck with the war?"
("No, I don't fuck with the war")
I'm like "No, I don't fuck with the war
Just don't know how to react to the forces
I should have just thanked you of course-"
("Uh, why would you thank me? ")
"Uh... I guess I assumed it would extend to the families but okay
While we on the topic
I been actually thinking about some shit
About the Army and Navy
What if tomorrow is the day
That the fucking aliens came
And invaded our nation?
Like, would we even be able to fuck with their shit?
Like do we got the type of weaponry to fuck with their ships?
Or not at all, like would they just walk up in this motherfucker
Laughin' at us, and blastin' at us
And makin' everybody disintegrate and assimilate
Without a hint of intimidation?
Or could we do some shit to be making they heart race?
Granted I don't know the alien heart, but
You get what the fuck I'm sayin?
Like what the fuck would it be like?
Would they be like Earth go hard?
Or is it just another conquest?
Or would they be like damn earth go hard
They was harder than Simian
You ever talk to your brother about this uh type of stuff?"
Then she like "No"
I'm like "Well, what you think?"
She like "I don't concern myself with hypotheticals that couldn't be"
I'm like "Girl, what you mean?"
She like ("I don't believe")
"In the war?"
("In aliens")
"Oh... hold up
Hold up, wait
Girl what you sayin?
That all of the life in the universe happens to be where you stand?"
("I guess")
"What an enormous coincidence that shit would be
Do you see what I'm sayin'?"
("I can't hear what you're sayin'")
"Well, the universe always expanding
There are infinite galaxies
Why would we be the anomaly?"
She like ("That's no coincidence
I call that shit God")
I'm like "Oh, you're religious, bitch
You think it's all God?"
("No, I know it's all God")
"No, I know that there might be a God
First off, nobody knows there's a God
Girl, I think we should drop this"
("No, what's goin' on in your brain right now?")
{(Brain) Ayy, brain on some other shit though
I been all up in the club for the year, hey (Brain)
I been killing shit, don't mind me
I'm just top flight, I could sure use a Sprite, I'm thirsty as fuck
Who getting money? That's brain. Who make decisions? That's brain
Who make the hits? That's been brain
Who run the whole operation?
That be brain-}
Brain, can you just get back to the issue here
{Uh, can you just remind the brain?}
You're such an idiot, we're talking about God and if he exists
{Don't call brain names
The brain couldn't recall
But if I'm not mistaken this bitch to my left
Guaranteed there's a God}
("I believe in a God, yes")
{So God never wrong
God never wrong, right?}
("Yeah, that's like the whole point")
"Brain just get there, please"
{Hold up
So God made the earth
And God was like hold up, this shit is boring
It need more shit
God was like I'ma put dinosaurs on that bitch
Dinosaurs on that bitch
Then he like why I put dinosaurs on that shit?}
("What is your brain even saying?
Can he get to the point?")
"Hold up brain you just did it
God ain't wrong, what the fuck was he thinking"
("About what? ")
"Bitch, the dinosaurs
He made the Earth for them
But then he like nah?
Dinosaurs are just blah?"
("What's your point?")
"I'ma cook up some blondes?
Like he was way off
I don't look like a dinosaur
Hoe them things thirty-five-feet
I'm like five-foot-eleven" (Up on Tinder I'm six-foot)
"Seen that Bronchiosaurus
That thing fuckin' neck go to heaven
And that's just an expression bitch
There ain't no heaven"
("Ha, funny")
"I'm just messin' but if he ain't wrong
I guess this the exception"
("Can I talk now?")
"Go ahead"
("Look"
Everything in life has purpose
You, chickens, a midget at a circus")
"What?"
("I don't interpret"
She like "That's not for me to determine"
"So dinosaurs purpose was to just die?"
"That's not for me to determine")
"But... ok"
("I'm just a person")
"Okay, but think of the root of the argument girl
View how we started this girl, like you don't believe in the aliens
You confine God to earth girl, I find that shit salient"
("I just don't presume to know the plan")
"Bitch, me neither but that's not what I've been saying"
("But what are you saying?")
"Why can't God fuck with aliens?
Why can't Earth just be like a fucking small side project for this guy?"
("Ok, look we just don't see eye to eye")
"Yeah but logically like you don't believe in your side"
("Yeah but you're like bringing up fucking dinosaurs
Like we could have shared the earth with them nobody knows")
"Yeah, there is hard soil evidence girl
Like what's next you don't fuck with Pangaea?"
She like ("Let's change the subject")
"Ok..."
{This bitch don't know about Pangaea, uhm...}
Brain leave it alone
"I'm starving, are you hungry by chance?"
("Oh, my God, I'm so hungry")
"Yes, do you wanna get a pizza?"
"Fuck yeah". "Fuck yeah, I'm on it
Also I'm sorry about that whole interrogation thing"
("Come on dude I'm a grown up
I'm capable of having intelligent conversations")
"Okay, I just... fuck it
Okay back to this pizza I lean pepperoni"
("Ugh")
"Sausage?"
("How can you eat that shit?")
"No, no, no, this not Dominoes
This legit, is high quality meat and shit"
("No, no, I'm vegetarian")
"Oh right, well we can get half pepperoni
And half of whatever you like"
("Uh, ew, I can't have that shit
In the same box")
"Seriously? You're that against meat?"
("No, I'm that against us being gluttonous
Thinking that animals live on this earth to get eaten")
"Okay, is it how we treat them?"
("Uh, that sure doesn't help")
"Ok..."
She like ("I'm not opposed to us hunting
But now we not trackin' them down
We just breed them to eat
That's disgusting
You should honestly read on the subject")
"Alright, hold up
Just because we're not running around with a bow and arrow
Doesn't mean we're not hunting these chickens
We just set the place to do our hunting intelligently enough
To manipulate these animals and get them to do exactly what we want"
("That's my point we just incubate animals
Instead of just letting them live how they come")
"But, that's just your God at work, bitch
Why we go hard on earth
What you think would happen right now
If you left my place
And there were like three wolves waiting for you"
"Wolves?"
"Bitch, they would tear your ass up
Viciously
Like they would eat your titties" (And your pussy)
"That's what they do" (And your face and shit)
"Humans are smarter bitch
That's what we do"
She like ("Apples to oranges")
"Bitch, that phrase don't make no sense
Why can't fruit be compared?"
She like ("I'm gonna leave")
"There's just all of these conflicting principles"
("Right, enjoy your pepperoni pizza")
"I will, that's my God-given right"
She like ("Where is my bag?")
"Oh, that leather one next to the trash?
That's the one right? Made out of cow, I think?"
("Ugh why are there no Ubers in this area?")
"So you don't eat the meat, you just be wearing the shit"
("I'm not listening dude")
"That's barbaric as shit
Do you come from the vikings?"
("Why are you even still talking?")
"Do you take peoples land?"
("I'm not listening dude")
"Do you fuck with the war?"
("How are there no Ubers anywhere?")
"Just download Lyft, they are bigger in presence out here"
("I don't wanna add shit to my phone")
"Okay, the choices are clear, hoe
Ubers are not around here at all
Taxis will come but they real slow"
{And the brain gotta poop
T minus five till the brain gotta shit}
("I just downloaded Lyft, but it's being so glitch")
"Uh, look do you just want to sleep here?"
("Uh, no thanks")
"It's past 2 am"
("I'm not sharing a bed with you")
"You can sleep in my bed, I'll just sleep on the floor"
("Fine, you're sure?")
"Yeah, it's cool
I won't throw you out to the wolves"
"Oh, my God, you are so annoying"
"I couldn't help myself
But can you at least throw me a pillow?"
[Lil Dicky:]
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy
I'm just pillow talking with a bitch, ayy (Do you fuck with the war?)
I just finished spazzing on a bitch, ayy
Now I'm pillow talking with a bitch
[Lil Dicky (The Girl) {Brain}:]
{Brain gotta poop still
Please don't neglect the brain
Please don't neglect the brain}
[*doorbell rings*]
(Hold on, is that my Lyft?)
Nah, I got a pizza
Full pepperoni too
So, you're not gonna wanna be a part of it
{But first you should poop
Please don't neglect the brain}
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